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Philip Humber Has Pitched Major League Baseball's 21st Perfect Game Of The Modern Era
Journeyman pitcher Philip Humber joined the list of hurlers to have completed pitching's most difficult feat when he shut down the Seattle Mariners and led his Chicago White Sox to a 4-0 win at Safeco with a nine-strikeout perfect game, the modern era's 21st....

Today In Jose Canseco Tweets As Motivational Posters: Baseball Smells
I'm going to be wrapping up Josayings because I've had the feeling like he's been in on the joke recently and there has been a lot of poking around and maybe he actually is in on it. Either way, it's better to burn out than fade away so I'll be dropping a few more this weekend that I never got aroun...

Hair Of The Dong: The Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions
I know you were worried, but rest assured, here is your weekly dong fix. We get things started this week with a submission from none other than Dong Curator Emeritus, Brian Hickey. In his own words: "This is actually a hair on my bathroom wall. The fuck did that happen?" Please remember to support ...

Umpire Greg Gibson Took A Stephen Strasburg Fastball To The Crotch
Ump Greg Gibson, behind the plate for today's Nats-Marlins matchup, was in a Very Bad Place today when Wilson Ramos mishandled a Stephen Strasburg fastball and deflected it right into Gibson's groin area. Gibson bounced back rather quickly—most MLB umps wear cups when working the plate, after all...

Aussie Footballer Robbie Gray Liquefied His Knee
Robbie Gray, the leading goal kicker for Port Adelaide Power last year, suffered this gruesome looking knee injury with less than a minute left to play in a game against Collingwood at Etihad Stadium....

<i>New York Post</i> Front Page Kicks Nonsensical Ass
Fenway Park has been in the news a lot of late. There was the touching Field of Dreams-inspired story of the father and son who built their own replica Fenway in the vastness of Oregon. Then the drunken awkwardness of those loveable idiots, Cowboy Up himself and the Yankees' favorite son. And, of c...

Philly Fan Does Most Philly Fan Thing Ever After Last Night's Flyers Loss
Despite falling behind early, Pittsburgh eked out a 3-2 Game Five win over the Flyers last night, extending the series and forcing a Game Six in Philadelphia tomorrow. Marc-Andre Fleury—whose previous play in the net thus far has been an Open Door Policy—was stellar, and we'll guess this fan at a...

Deadspin Up All Night: Listen Up
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Sean and Tim will join you this weekend. Enjoy it....

Roy Hibbert Says The Pacers Are The NBA's "Best-Kept Secret"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: We like Indy's chances against Orlando....

The Official Deadspin Youth T-Ball League Held Its First Practice, Made Dirt Piles
The children of Rick from suburban Boston helped us with a little video project last spring. In return, we agreed to sponsor their T-ball league. Throughout the season, we will chronicle the league's exploits....

"I Always Told Her I Would Take Her For A Ride": Notes From Bobby Petrino's Meeting With Arkansas Before They Fired Him
"I am still looking for ways you can remain our coach," Arkansas athletic director Jeff Long wrote in his prepared notes before a meeting with Bobby Petrino. It was April 8, and the university would fire Petrino with cause two days later. "Help me understand why this [sic] are not violations of your...

The Sacramento Kings Are Now So Desperate That They're Marketing To Old Stoners
Are you a Sacramento Kings fan? Ha, no, shut up, you're not. They're half a game ahead of last place in the West, 2-8 in their last 10, headed for the lottery again. They're probably leaving town. Who would ever want to go to a Kings game?...

LOL OMG NHL: Hockey Goes After The BuzzFeed Generation
Our friends at Jezebel pointed us to this post on BuzzFeed: "The Hottest Guys In The NHL." It's a standard BuzzFeed numbered list of large photos, with a sentence or two apiece, perfectly designed to be shared around Facebook and Pinterest by a very specific subset of the internet. But the top text ...

Unpopular Sport Forms "Strategic Promotional Alliance" With Band That Sucks
Big announcement today from the NHL. So big it merited a press release that maunders on for nearly 1,000 words. You're not going to bother reading it, but here's the gist: The NHL has an awards show on June 20 in Las Vegas. It has hired Nickelback to be the headlining band. It's hailing the move as ...

It's Hell Becoming A Comfortable And Wealthy Old Filmmaker
It's the fear of any successful creative person, anyone who started their career as a young buck with fire in the belly, all the ambition in the world, all the idealism of the new and stupid: What happens when you make it? What happens when you achieve your goals, early in your life, and you have to...

Pedro Martinez And Kevin Millar Delivered A Boozy, Awkward Toast To Fenway Before Today's Game
A lengthy ceremony recognizing the 100th anniversary of Fenway Park before today's Yankees-Red Sox game came to a close with former Sox stars Kevin Millar and Pedro Martinez offering a toast, sort of, to the stadium—while sounding a bit like they'd been rehearsing it for some time. (The Red Sox a...

Posting A Facebook Photo From The London Olympics Could Land You In Court
Art by Ronald Wigman....

The Charlotte Bobcats Can't Even Beat The Spread
The Bobcats' losing streak has reached 18 games, and they're flirting with the all-time worst single-season winning percentage in NBA history. You would expect an experienced gambler to see them as a good bet because the entire world thinks so little of them. Er, no....

Czech Women Will Use You As A Bodyguard
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....