in Page 3322 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Neighbors Don't Like It When Neighbors Use People Poop As Fertilizer
"There's a huge difference between using fertilizer and using human feces that's been treated with different chemicals," Bill Schaffhouser tells NBC Philadelphia's Stacy Stauffer. "This stuff will end up in the food and meat they eat, the milk they drink…this is a real issue." [NBC10]...

This Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions
Hope the Christmas weekend treated erbody from altar boys lucky enough to grab the Mass that lands a big tip to nihilists who torched candy canes on principle (or lack thereof) well. This week's roundup, as expected, was littered with some holiday imagery. Like Mark J.C.'s, who sent this "Merry Xma...

Here's A Canadian Road-Rage Street Fight That Ends With A Handshake And An Attaboy
Dude runs up to a fellow motorist's ride with anger in his soul. The video, it doesn't show what precipitated confrontation on what's possibly an Ottawa street. Maybe he stopped short. Maybe other guy hit him unexpectedly....

Top 10 All-Time Wrestling Moves List Offends Good Sense By Relegating Jimmy Snuka's Superfly Splash To No. 3
The fact that neither JYD nor George "The Animal" Steele appear on this Top 10 Wrestling Moves of All-Time list can be forgiven, if only because The Dog and The Animal brought an outlier level of showmanship to their athletic pursuits....

Deadspin Up All Night: Gab
Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. You're all great....

Horrible Quotes About A Soccer Player's Torn Scrotum
From Andy Hessenthaler, manager for League Two side Gillingham:...

Cam Newton > Tim Tebow
On the McLaughlin Group on Sunday, the panelists were giving out year-end political awards, and Rich Lowry, the guy from the National Review last seen wiping starbursts off his khakis, gave one to Tim Tebow, for being the most exciting thing in American sports right now, or some such thing. It wasn'...

"I'm Not Coaching After 2017!" Rick Pitino Prematurely Ejaculates
Rick Pitino announced today that he will stop coaching once his Louisville contract runs out after the 2016-17 season: "When you're 59, you're realistic that you don't have a whole lot of years left," Pitino said at a news conference before the No. 4 Cardinals play Georgetown on Wednesday. "My contr...

Today In Insane Sentences: Rex Ryan Tells Stephen A. Smith That Peyton Manning Won't Replace Mark Sanchez
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Coach stays positive on the Sanchize....

100 Percent Of The NBA's Asian-American Population Now Plays For The Knicks
The Knicks added Jeremy Lin to the roster last night in an effort to fix the fact that they have zero depth in the backcourt. He's the league's lone Asian-American player, and he's also the only Harvard grad in the pros. Get this kid a billboard....

A Plea For TV Networks To Show People Running Onto The Field
Big thank you to Drew for letting me guest this Funbag. Normally my day is filled with exploiting my elderly father for money (see: Shit My Dad Says), so it was a welcome diversion. I also used to write for the TV show of the same name, until America was like, "GOD FUCKING STOP THIS SHIT TAKE IT OFF...

MLB's New Security Chief, A Former SF Giant, Once Denied Monica Lewinsky Entry To The Oval Office
It's weird to think about MLB executives doing anything other than MLB-executive-ing. I can't think of Bud Selig cutting timber, for example. But a story in the Washington Post introduces us to Bill Bordley, the league's new chief of security, who pitched for the Giants before joining the Secret Ser...

ShortCenter: Drew Brees's Record Inspires A Lot Of Man Love
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

Ilya Kovalchuk Scored A 180-Foot Own Goal, And They Credited It To Cam Ward
When I saw the scoresheet for yesterday's Devils/Hurricanes game, I mostly ran around in circles yelling "Goalie goal!" over and over again. For fans of novelty highlights, goalie goals are up there with unassisted triple plays as one of the rarest and most valuable sporting occurrences....

Drew Brees's Birthmark Must Be Contagious, Sean Payton Now Looks Symptomatic
Your morning roundup for Dec. 27, the day we learned Christmas lights have a final resting place. Photo via Mocksession. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Ricky Rubio <em>Está Aquí</em>
The Timberwolves' Ricky Rubio had six assists in the 26 minutes of his NBA debut. Here's each of them in all their Catalonian glory....

Your <i>Monday Night Football</i> Open Thread
There are various playoff permutations in play, plus two loaded teams meeting in the last game of most leagues' fantasy championships. It's Atlanta at New Orleans on ESPN, and the comments are the place to be....

Deadspin Up All Night: Twang Time
Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. Get back to work....

Bryce Harper Named His New Puppy "Swag"
Did you know Nationals wundertool Bryce Harper protects his Tweets? Luckily, Nats Enquirer is here to relay to us that Harper received an adorable chocolate Lab for Christmas, and promptly named it Swag. They're totally off to the park to pick up chicks. [Nats Enquirer]...

Mizzou And North Carolina Will Be Competing For This Broken Trophy
This is what the Independence Bowl trophy used to look like. Now it's a crystal shard on a tiered base. [via Twitter]...