in Page 3366 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Steven Seagal Will Keep America Safe From Invading Mexicans
"Seagal, 59, was sworn in this week as the Hudspeth County Sheriff's Office newest deputy. The sheriff's office said he'll be working full time to help secure the U.S.-Mexico border. 'It became very clear to me that Mr. Seagal is not in this for the celebrity or the publicity,' Sheriff Arvin West s...

High School Football Player Dies After Sustaining Head Injury In Friday Night Game
"The father of Ridge Barden spoke with NewsChannel 9, remembering the varsity player who passed away after suffering head injuries during a Friday night football game. Saturday morning, he issued this statement: 'I have no words right now, my world has been devastated. But I want to say thank you t...

Your College Football Early Games Open Thread
Indiana visits the profane No. 4 Wisconsin Badgers (ESPN2), No. 11 Michigan heads over to No. 23 Michigan State's house (ESPN), No. 21 Texas A&M hosts No. 20 Baylor (FX) and No. 15 South Carolina goes to Mississippi State (SEC Network/MSG)....

Maybe Bribery Will Keep Today's Wisconsin Game Profanity Free, But Probably Not (NSFW)
"If the so-called ES-FU chant is not heard Saturday at the Indiana game (from the time the gates open until the 5th quarter is over), we will randomly select two student season ticket holders to be the recipients of a trip (transportation, three nights lodging and game tickets included) to our foo...

The Theme Of Last Night's NLCS Game Was Set When Jerry Hairston Got Bucknered At Third
Your morning roundup for Oct. 15, the day we totally realized that Tums commercial with a randy corn dog is really a work of dong-involved artistry. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

If Tom Verducci Thinks Justin Verlander Pitched Like Bob Gibson, Tom Verducci Has No Idea Who Bob Gibson Is
Look, please, for pity's sake: Justin Verlander pitched a mediocre game last night. Craggs already said his piece about the frantic efforts of the sports press corps to sculpt the pile of horse poop Verlander left on the pitcher's mound into a living, breathing unicorn. The relentlessly genial Joe P...

This Evening: Logan Morrison, Intentional Dong
Your p.m. roundup for Oct. 14, the day the hipster cop came to save the day. Photo via Twitter. And yes, he knew we would post this. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

The Caps And Pens Were Acting So Maturely For A While There
Alex Ovechkin—who once did this—called out Arron Asham for his post-fight gestures, so Asham fired back by calling Ovie a "hypocrite." Meanwhile, Brooks Laich wishes brain-addled players like Jay Beagle weren't coddled so much by the NHL's concussion guidelines. The teams don't meet again until Dece...

Oh, Great, Now Conference USA Is Merging With The Mountain West To Form A 22-Team Conference
Because why the fuck not, at this point? [MWC]...

The Big East: Your New Home For Boise State, Central Florida, Navy, And Air Force Football!
Well, Colorado is east of Idaho, we suppose. And, hey, Thursday night blue turf on ESPN, within, like, a few years. That's something to look forward to, right? Maybe? Anyone? [USA Today]...

This Photo Of Dominick Cruz's Surgically Repaired Hand Is HOLY SHIT LOOK HOW BIG AND GROSS IT LOOKS
Cruz, UFC's bantamweight champion, broke his right hand en route to earning a unanimous decision against Demetrious Johnson on Oct. 1. He finally got around to having surgery on the hand this week, and our stomachs are all grateful to him for posting what it looked like the following day on Twitter...

Curt Schilling Tears Apart Just About Everyone In Boston
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Schill's never been afraid to speak his mind....

All Involved In The Vancouver Riots Can Turn Themselves In And Get A Free Massage Or Manicure
Vancouver-area spa empire Eccotique has announced its "Calm Down and De-Stress" promotion, whereby participants in June's Vancouver riots can earn a $50 gift certificate for turning themselves to the Vancouver Police Department....

Cockblocked On A Boat!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Justin Verlander "Gutted Out" "Gritty," "Gutsy" Performance Last Night, Writes Every Sportswriter Everywhere
Justin Verlander threw 133 pitches yesterday, which is a lot, and he gave up four runs on eight hits, which isn't so great. By most standards, he pitched a so-so game. By his standards, he was awful. But because the Tigers won a game they had to win, and because the prevailing narrative calls for Ju...

Photoshop Contest: Ryan Howard At A Food Store In A Motorized Scooter
The internet has been passing around this photo of Ryan Howard for several days, or at least since it was discovered after being tweeted by a fan who snapped it at a suburban Philly Whole Foods. It is at once sadly and hilariously emblematic of the sudden conclusion to the Phillies' season....

Waitress Says Minor Leaguer Groped Her, Actually Said "Do You Know Who I Am? I Play For The ValleyCats"
Right, maybe we have glorified athletes too much in this country when a Short-Season A ballplayer feels empowered enough to pull the old "Do you know who am?" That's what one member of the Tri-City ValleyCats (a Houston Astros affiliate) allegedly told a waitress after grabbing her chest and behind ...

Brandon Marshall's Game Plan This Week Calls For Getting Ejected And Maybe Fighting, Just So You Know
Brandon Marshall has given us a reason to talk about the Dolphins for something other than how terrible they are, and it's because of what he intends to do during Monday night's game against the Jets. Apparently Marshall hasn't been himself during the season's first four games, at least according t...

Arron Asham And Jay Beagle Give Hockey A Fight To Fight About
All right everyone, we're about to discuss a hockey fight, so I need you to put on your level heads. There's going to be talk of league office discipline, and a bit about the culture of enforcers, and maybe even a mention of concussions. These are topics that cause otherwise normal individuals to ...

A Native American In Denver Turns His Lonely Eyes To Tim Tebow
Your morning roundup for Oct. 14, the day Snoop Dogg, a Welsh farmer and a "real big vegetable" made for the greatest broadcast news story ever. Photo courtesy of Busted Coverage, via @SirKingRyan. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....