in Page 3441 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Your Indianapolis 500 Open Thread
Grand Marshal Anderson Cooper and the Indianapolis 500 Festival Princesses drew much attention on the red carpet outside the Snake Pit Ball. Jim Nabors, REO Speedwagon and the Chinese brought happiness to those attending the IPL 500 Festival Parade. Plus, there's a fancy car race today....

Here's A Photo Of The Seattle Mariners Streaker In The Loving Grasp Of Three Committed Security Guards
On a night when Chone Figgins lowered the price of Widmer beer at one Seattle bar to $1.97 (0-5 in the Mariners win over the Yankees), a streaker was the third of four fans to run on the field. He apparently took a shine to Derek Jeter in the eighth inning but the shortstop declined his advances. F...

FC Barcelona Proved They Were The Best Team In All Of Professional Sports Yesterday
Your morning roundup for May 29, the day Roger Ebert inexplicably gave two thumbs down to those who blatantly allowed two eyes to check out two foreign boobs....

German Women Adept At Milking Cows, Plowing Fields Vie For Calendar-Modeling Gig
Two hundred women applied but just 25 made the first cut. From there, the Hamburg Chamber of Trade will whittle down the list to determine who has what it takes to represent not only a nation, but a way of life, in the 2012 German Farm Girls Calendar....

Chone Figgins's Low Batting Average Helps People Get Drunker, Cheaper
Seattle Mariners third baseman Chone Figgins is currently batting .202 on the season. Hitting a notable .087 this past week, manager Eric Wedge sat Chone on the bench for last night's game against the Yankees. There's chatter of moving him down in the lineup; like No. 9 down....

It Wouldn't Be The Start Of Memorial Day Weekend Without A Gnarly Skiing Video
Red Bull and U.S. Freestyle skier Simon Dumont pretty much chopped up Squaw Valley's half-pipe. They used lasers, angles, machinery and a touch of crazy to do so....

Here's Video Of A Car Catching On Fire At The Brickyard Last Night
With six laps remaining in last night's 2011 Firestone Indy Lights Freedom 100, boom went Jorge Goncalvez's No. 4 after a bit of entanglement sent his ride into the wall. He was alright, but the race finished under a caution. Ripoff....

Hockey Player Misses Five Minutes Of Game Time With Broken Face, Returns In Time For Season-Losing Goal
Your morning roundup for May 29, the day after death told the world that the puffy-faced Grandma Bandit was actually a man....

This Memorial Day Weekend, Don't Forget To Prepare For The Penis Inspector
As far as we know, this isn't real. Carlmont High (Calif.) students don't have to "ensure that their penises are clean and orderly," nor do they have to procure a friend's pubes if they have trimmed their own. It's a senior prank, and a well-executed one at that....

The Greatest Baseball Highlight Ever Happened 20 Years Ago Tonight
The video's been played and replayed so many times, it almost no longer matters who and where and how. It's a dude running through a fence....

Cockblocked By The Mentally Disabled!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Pete Rose Doesn't Want To Be Dead Before He Gets Into The Hall Of Fame
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Pete sounds a little desperate....

Seattle-Area Cheerleaders Up To Their Old Diapered, Hot-Dog-Slappin' Tricks
Scene: waning springtime in the Seattle metro area. Local cheerleaders, presumably led by Parker Posey, now up to no good with the school year coming to an end, their youth and beauty fading. Their tools: diapers and hot dogs....

The Miami Heat Appear To Have Messed Up the <em>Gears of War 3</em> Hype Train
LeBron James, first you upset the people of Cleveland by abandoning their basketball team. Now you've helped the Miami Heat beat the Chicago Bulls in five games, closing the series out last night with an 83-80 victory. That means there's… [Kotaku] ...

Breaking: FIFA Member Not Suspected Of Corruption
Fans and executives around the world today were shocked to learn that Senes Erzik, a member of FIFA's Executive Committee , has not been mentioned in conjunction with any bribery allegations regarding the upcoming vote for FIFA President....

Mets Manager Just As Dumb As Mets Owners, Carlos Beltran Is His Whore
Any of you know what the hell this means? Backward, defeatist: these are your New York Mets, with their fearless skipper leading the charge....

Just Your Run Of The Mill 3-2-6-1-5-3-4-6-8 Double Play
The Double-A New Britain Rock Cats turned this doozy of a multi-pickle yesterday, in which seemingly everyone on the team besides the 84-year-old honorary batboy handled the ball. And yes, that's the center fielder applying the tag that mercilessly ended the inning. That might be surprising, but h...

Here's The Video Where LeBron James Takes Flopping To Heretofore Unseen Levels
Your morning roundup for May 27, the day it helps to have a background in mathematics if you want to work for Pauly Shore. Video H/T Allen W...

Today In Great Quotes ...
Kim Fender, the longtime library executive director in Cincinnati, was asked to comment on an "investigative report" which found more than 700 criminal charges filed in incidents at libraries outside of Carl Monday's reach. It included the recent arrest of Jamaica Hill who, with a guyfriend, was c...

Report: Police Intervened When Tate Forcier Was Seen Hanging Out Of His Third-Floor Apartment's Window
The "Tate Forcier is transferring to Miami, Tate Forcier isn't transferring to Miami" story may be a little more complicated than initially imagined. WOOD-TV in Grand Rapids, Mich. is reporting that police were called to Forcier's apartment on April 22 after the QB who quit the U. of Michigan footb...