in Page 3468 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

No One Is Going To Cleveland Indians Games
On Friday, Cleveland opened its season on the losing end of a slugfest with the White Sox. Not the worst opening day possible, however much air Fausto Carmona's 3-inning, 10-run performance sucked out of the building—catching stud Carlos Santana went 3 for 5 with a homer....

We Are All Dave McKenna LXI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit apologizes to us all for being written by lawyers who were clearly browbeaten by Dan Snyder into writing anything at all, given what a dumbas...

We Were All Waiting For Choir Girls To Harmonize About Derrick Rose's MVP Season To Make It Official
Derrick Rose has officially gotten the "Lexy and Stephany" treatment, and so now is as good a time as any to acknowledge the man who will very likely be named the NBA's 2010-2011 MVP. If there's any sign that you've "made it," this isn't it, but it is a nice gesture nonetheless. We're harboring a ...

Callahan Breaks Ankle After Chara Shot; Rangers' Body Count Piles Up Again
This hurts to watch. In a 5-3 win over Boston last night, the kind of win that Rangers fans have dreamed of, the kind that eliminated Toronto from playoff contention and made it that much harder for Carolina to worm its way in, there was so much good. The Rangers scored five unanswered goals. It s...

John McEnroe Will Swear At You For An Hour For Just $28,500
There's an online charity open through Thursday that will grant two lucky — I mean absurdly wealthy — people an hour-long tennis lesson with John McEnroe at Randall's Island in New York City. The bid is currently at $26,000. The money will go towards saving the earth (literally, I guess?), so we can...

Phillies Fans Show Commitment To The Team By Doing Keg Stands On The Train
Over the weekend, these Phillies fans celebrated a win by doing keg stands on the subway. What's impressive about this is the fact that somewhere between attending a Phillies game and getting back to their home (or maybe dorm rooms), these guys procured an entire keg and then somehow managed to el...

Dookie’s Obnoxious “Open Letter” To Kyrie Irving As Obnoxious As You’d Expect
Last night's NCAA title game was horrible to watch, so thank goodness Chris Cusack of the Duke Chronicle, who was apparently born with a bronzed asshole, is sending the 2011 college basketball season out on a high note by writing this very hateable open letter to Kyrie Irving....

When European Basketball Fans Get Excited, They Light Their Stadiums On Fire
Here we were thinking VCU fans were having "riots" last week, but they're nothing compared to Panathinaikos BC fans. In this European basketball game last Thursday against Barcelona, Greek basketball fans torched their own stadium. Yes, what you see above is a basketball game — not a race riot....

Could The 2012 NFL Draft Become A Double Megadraft?!
I had to go an '80s-themed party with my wife on Saturday night. And I have no clue how they do this, but women always seem to have outfits for themed parties ready on their person at all times. "Oh, there's an '80s party? Let me just grab my oversized Esprit T-shirt, leg warmers, and hair crimper! ...

Snooki Body Slams Michelle McCool, And Other Great Moments From WrestleMania 27
For those of you who didn't have the $54.50 to spend on pay-per-view this weekend, we have compiled the best moment's from Sunday night's WrestleMania 27. There were many highlights: Snooki did a backflip, Stone Cold Steve Austin laid the smack down, and Trish Stratus and Michelle McCool wrestled ...

The Quirks Of Gambling On Professional Wrestling
Since the dawn of time, it's been mankind's dream to own the Sports Almanac from Back To The Future Part II. If one could know the result of a sporting event beforehand, one could make untold riches by gambling on it. While the Novikov self-consistency principle — or perhaps Calvinism — means this c...

This Year's "One Shining Moment" Includes Very Few Moments From The Title Game
Your morning roundup for April 5, the day Michael Jackson took watch over Fulham FC's stadium....

We Are All Dave McKenna LX
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit is shillelaghed into the hereafter....

Former National Still Hiding Out In the Women's Bathroom
That's Josh Willingham camped out on an ad in the ladies' room at Nationals Park, despite having been sent to Oakland in December. He joins Strasburg and Harper as featured team ambassadors who aren't actually on the team. [via DC Sports Bog]...

Roger Clemens, Mike Piazza Make Nice
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: everyone is old and mellow and past the bat-throwing incident....

(Un)dead Wrestler Of The Week: The Undertaker
An occasional feature in which we honor the sport's fallen and examine their legacies. Today we have a special edition of Dead Wrestler of the Week: The Undertaker, who defeated Triple H last night in WrestleMania 27 and who, while still very much alive, has long been a death-obsessed figure in a de...

Kickball Rec League Captain Sends Out Fantastically Bitchy Email To His Underperforming Team
An Atlanta-area kickball team recently suffered a demoralizing 20-0 loss. Yes, we're familiar with how serious some people are about their kickball and it's never fun to get blown out. However, if you have to play with this fun lovin' bunch of sad-sacks it's still inexcusable to go all Earl Weaver ...

Did The Clippers' PR Guy Scrub Donald Sterling's Wikipedia Page?
An eagle-eyed tipster alerts us to this revision on Donald Sterling's Wikipedia page, which scrubbed the six-part "Controversies" section but added some heartwarming notes....

Wayne Rooney Scored A Hat Trick, Swore In Celebration, Got A Two-Match Ban
Premier League justice is worse than Sheriff Goodell's....

Hey, Did Everyone Notice The Yankees Were Cheating?
Along with Louis Murphy's Viagra bust, this was another good story to break before a weekend and be completely ignored....