in Page 3502 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

This Isn't How You're Supposed To Lift A Guy On A Stretcher
I don't know who this player is or how he hurt himself, but I do know this video is about five Leslie Nielsen movies rolled into one. [Via Twitter]...

Weekend Winner: Jay Cutler, Safety Last
All the furor over Jay Cutler spending the second half on the bench is proof positive that the battle for player safety is an uphill one, and won't be solved with posters and PSAs....

Yep, Rashard Mendenhall Really Used Ben Roethlisberger Like An Inflatable Sex Toy
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Record For Worst Televised Bowling Ever Was Set Yesterday
In the semifinals of the Professional Bowlers Association Tournament of Champions in Vegas on Saturday, Tom Daugherty needed every ball at his disposal to reach 100 in his televised-bowling debut. His foe, Mika Koivuniemi, needed them to reach 299....

Kansas State Basketball Doesn't Bother Spelling Freshman's Name Rigth
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Hardcore 302-Pound Fan Likes Bear-Themed Body Painting
Michael Lyp is a really big Chicago Bears fan. Like, 302-pound big. Which means it takes much product for his gameday body-painting rituals. Says the Chicago Tribune, “he stands out in the vibrant tapestry of fans at Soldier Field.”...

D.C. Woman Commits Her Life To Hiding Bras
Here's a very special report about a garment that employs special buttons to prevent the bra-exposing "blouse gape" scourge. What inspired the "inventor"? Picking out proper wardrobe to work at a lobbying firm....

Handball Referee Gets Punished For Exposing Himself To Hotel Staff
A handball referee was arrested for exposing himself to cleaners in a Gothenburg, Sweden hotel. The handball referee was subsequently sent home from the World Championships by the International Handball Association. But the games must go on....

Playboy Alum From Poland Purchases Soccer Team
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Buddy Ryan Can't Tell His Sons Apart
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Buddy's proud of his little boys....

Bart Scott's Interview Drew The Admiration Of Pro Wrestling
Both Hulk Hogan and Mean Gene Okerlund were impressed with Bart Scott's postgame promo....

Reporter Injures Self, Studio Hosts Pretend To Be Concerned
Dodger Stadium is hosting a motocross event, and one local reporter decided to take a bike out for a spin. His crash isn't nearly as amusing as the awkwardness that follows. [via VinScullyIsMyHomeboy]...

A Horrifying Selection Of Port-A-Potty Sex Stories
What's it like to make love to a drunken stranger in an outdoor waste box? Some readers have an answer....

Charles Tillman, Esteemed "Ball-Puncher"
The Chicago Tribune does its best to intimidate Packer receivers. (Click image for largeness) (H/T Joe Z.)[Chicago Tribune]...

Glow-In-The-Dark Surfer Riding 40-Foot Wave At Night? Yes Please.
Mark Visser, illuminated by submarine lighting, rode the Jaws break off of Maui early yesterday morning. It's like Point Break meets Tron....

Stop Snitching, Golf Viewers
Padraig Harrington was disqualified after a fan watching at home emailed the tour to report he illegally moved the ball. It's the second time this month people on their couches have narced on a player. [Golf.com]...

When The Ex-NFLer Fought The Struggling Writer Over $28
Remember Anthony Parker? Yeah, me either. But the former 49ers and Raiders cornerback sic'ed his lawyer on a freelance writer he stiffed out of $28. Wouldn't it have been cheaper to just pay the money from the beginning?...

Last Night's Winner: Caroline Wozniacki Goes Solo
Is there anything worse than press conferences? The same boring questions get asked every time, and answered in the same boring way. Caroline Wozniacki noticed this, and decided she didn't need the media's help to continue on with the charade....

The World's First Compelling Sideline Interview, Courtesy Kim Clijsters And Her Suspicious Cleavage
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Devin Hester Is New Monthly Daddy Columnist For <em>Chicago Parent</em>
"Hangin' with Devin" will debut in April. Hopefully, New York Parent will let Antonio Cromartie begin his own column titled "Hangin' With Jurzie, Alonzo, Caris, Antonio, Jr., Tyler, Leilani, London, Daughter, and Whatsherface?" soon. [Chicago Parent]...