in Page 3523 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Your NFL Early Games Open Thread
Sure, Patriots owner Robert Kraft took the inspirational, everything's-gonna-be-a'ight approach to talking about the looming bloodsport between billionaire owners and millionaire players in today's Boston Globe......

Hockey Player's Face Gets Bloodied While Lady With A Pink BlackBerry Cover Sort Of Watches
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Obese Cat Prince Chunk Is Dead. Long Live Obese Cat Prince Chunk.
Prince Chunk's road to stardom went something like this: Be really fat when your owner's South Jersey home gets foreclosed so she has to put you up for adoption and, well, that's all it takes to get Regis' attention....

Your College Football Night Games Open Thread
Having spent 16 months as a South Carolinian, I might could think USC/Clemson is the best rivalry going. I done seen how severely people turn on people who support the other side, and I revel in its peak-level sadism....

Boxer Shot And Stabbed By Husband So Burglar Sees Perfect Chance To Strike
On Tuesday, boxer Christy Martin was shot and stabbed, allegedly by her husband. She's still in the hospital. Her husband's still on the lam. So, some classy folk(s) decided the time was right to break in. [Orlando Sentinel]...

Nevada Fans See Boise Drivin' 'Round Town With The BCS Bid They Love, And They're Like, F*ck You
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

High School Football Team Embarrass Selves For Your Viewing Pleasure
In the pantheon of humiliating sports-themed "Single Ladies" covers, this one is...at least top two. At least Decatur Central (Ind.) won $300 for their troubles. [Huffington Post]...

"Watching My Shirtless, Bloody Friend Hug His Grandma At 9 A.M. Was Pretty Awesome"
For many of you, the day after Thanksgiving requires you to put on your best Gap sport coat, head out to the local beef-and-beer drink your way through a high school reunion. Sometimes, the outcomes are disastrous. Heed these warnings....

*WINNER*: "Then I Get The More Awesome Idea Of Giving Him A Blow Job In His Girlfriend's Bathroom."
For many of you, the day after Thanksgiving requires you to put on your best Gap sport coat, head out to the local beef-and-beer drink your way through a high school reunion. Sometimes, the outcomes are disastrous. Heed these warnings....

"Brawl For It All 2008"
For many of you, the day after Thanksgiving requires you to put on your best Gap sport coat, head out to the local beef-and-beer drink your way through a high school reunion. Sometimes, the outcomes are disastrous. Heed these warnings...

Everybody's Working For The (Long) Weekend
I'm betting a large number of you are reading this from your office, thanks to some asshole boss who doesn't see why you should have the day off when 90 percent of the rest of the world does. Let's commiserate....

My Asian Roommate Stole My Handjob!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

All Of Our Fantasy Football Teams Are Related To Us Banging In The Dining Room
For many of you, the day after Thanksgiving requires you to put on your best Gap sport coat, head out to the local beef-and-beer drink your way through a high school reunion. Sometimes, the outcomes are disastrous. Heed these warnings....

Poor Amanda Shit Her Pants While Passed Out In the Backseat
For many of you, the day after Thanksgiving requires you to put on your best Gap sport coat, head out to the local beef-and-beer drink your way through a high school reunion. Sometimes, the outcomes are disastrous. Heed these warnings....

What Objects Are We Putting In Our Rectums?
Let's have some more fun with the Sun-Sentinel's emergency room database, shall we? Here's a list of various objects that in various contexts were lodged in various rectums. Verbatim:...

Another Children's Treasury Of Bizarre Injuries
Last year, we brought you some highlights from the Sun-Sentinel's database of emergency room visits. They've updated it for the holidays, so we've picked it through for some of the stranger hospitalizations....

Unfortunately, Not Everyone Likes Lionel Messi
With his hilarious Monkees hair cut and preposterous skills, you'd think that everyone would adore Messi. Not so this tough guy Fonz impersonator. Ouch....

Derek Jeter Is Better Than Anyone Else At Overrating Derek Jeter
Per Bill Madden of New York Daily News: "But sources close to the Jeter/Close camp have said their starting point was six years, $150 million and that they aren't budging on $25 million per year." [NYDN]...

Depressed Pilgrims Encapsulate The Lions Thanksgiving Tradition
That's seven straight losses for Detroit on Turkey Day, and don't expect them to lose the Thursday slot any time soon. At the very least, maybe the league could schedule them for a high school homecoming game. [Where's Weems]...

The First NBA Mugshot Of The Holiday Season Has Arrived
Grizzlies center Hamed Haddadi and his girlfriend were both charged with domestic assault early yesterday morning. Police arrested both because they had two conflicting stories. Very conflicting....