in Page 3535 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

We Are All Dave McKenna LXV
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until some really bad, unspeakable things befall Snyder's dumbass libel suit. Today's topic: The draft....

Minor Leaguer Mercifully Cut By Indians Organization, Hits Million-Dollar Scratch-Off Ticket
Joel Torres still has major-league dreams despite being released by the minor-league Akron Aeros baseball team last month. He may have emptied all the luck from his tank yesterday, though, when he picked up a $660,300 lump-sum payment for hitting a $1 million "Sweet Millions" lottery ticket that h...

Even The Top Seed In The Playoffs Isn't Good Enough For This Expressive Bulls Fan
Your morning roundup for April 9, the day it became painfully evident that knowledge gleaned from the Old Testament and YouTube videos do not a professional at-home circumcisionist make....

We Are All Dave McKenna LXIV
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit gets its teeth rapped in with a wrench....

"Got Rings?" T-Shirt Reminds Knicks Fans That Their Team Has Been Bad For Almost 40 Years
Yes, the Knicks have rings, this T-shirt declares. Two of them. From 1970 and 1973. And yes, the NBA store is charging its fans $20 to be reminded of the fact that they've hardly come close since. Available for purchase in orange or blue, shipping and shame not included. Via Bob's Blitz....

Jay-Z Fined $50k For Making Kentucky Freshmen's Dreams Come True
ESPN's Marc Stein reports that the NBA has fined the New Jersey Nets $50k for Jay-Z's visit to the Kentucky Wildcats locker room....

Manny Ramirez Has Retired From Baseball After "An Issue" With Its Drug Program
Bill Shaikin of the Los Angeles Times reports that after the MLB alerted Tampa Bay's Manny Ramirez to "an issue" under its drug program, the two-time world champion chose to retire "rather than continue with the process." [@BillShaikin, ESPN]...

Bad Beats: Handicapping An <i>American Idol</i> That Has Gone Horribly, Horribly Wrong
Hello, folks. Welcome back to Bad Beats, the column you visit for betting advice and sad tales of gambling woe. Read past Bad Beats here. Got any stories for us? Email us at [email protected]. Subject: Bad beats....

Ryan Braun Did Not Actually Suggest Prince Fielder Is A Threat To Your Bag Of Potato Chips
Our friends at Talking Chop spotted something strange during the Brewers-Braves broadcast Thursday afternoon....

Cockblocked By Weed Addiction!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Mystery Solved: Courtside Guy At Bulls Games Is Matt Pritzker, And He Is Very, Very Rich
I-Team, you may stand down. So many of you have written in to solve today's mystery about the young fellow who sits courtside at Chicago Bulls games....

I-Team, Do You Know Who This Perpetually Courtside Bulls Fan Is?
Busy day for you guys, we recognize. But tipster Tom has written in with a pressing question:...

Bryce Harper Performs The Miracle Of Turning A Bunt Into A Single
The Chosen One made his Sally League debut yesterday in Rome, Ga. He had a couple singles but was denied two times. [WaPo, SweetSpot]...

College Kid Who Cried "Coach Attacked Me" Apparently Decided To Steal Two Beers From The Phillies
Your morning roundup for April 8, the day the Associated Press union decided to stick it to The Man, with whom it's negotiating a new contract, by not promoting stories on Facebook and Twitter next week. Consequences will never be the same....

Deadspin I-Team: Who Is The Minor-League Hockey Forbidden Dancer?
A mere seven days ago, the existence of the Grand Rapids Griffins rail-dancing fan was confirmed. Today, tipster Chad sends footage taken from another angle of the spasmodic bit of body expression which puts everything into a wee bit more perspective. To wit:...

In Vanderbilt Golf's Defense, They Were Probably Acting Like Nashville's Collegiate Golfers Do Everyday
Oh look, the Vanderbilt golf team tried to one-up the prancing baseball players with a video blending bromanish posture and the witticism of an Old Spice commercial knock-off. Totally works. (Not a real sport! Get it?!)...

We Are All Dave McKenna LXIII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit faces a shutdown of its own....

Nick Swisher Broke Twins Second Baseman Tsuyoshi Nishioka's Fibula, Patted His Back And Trotted Away
During today's matinee game, Nick Swisher's take-out slide fractured Twins second baseman Tsuyoshi Nishioka's left fibula just below the knee. Afterward, Nishioka, Twins manager Ron Gardenhire and teammates said they felt Swisher made a clean slide sans intent to injure....

Go To Gelf's Varsity Letters Tonight And Listen To Great Boxing Writing
NYC folks: Gelf's Varsity Letters free reading series returns tonight, with boxing writing from Thomas Hauser, George Kimball, and Gary Andrew Poole. Head to Le Poisson Rouge on Bleecker Street at 7:30. It will, as usual, be le great. [Gelf]...

Ray Allen Calls Post-Game Interviews "Therapeutic," Secures His Place As Media's Darling
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Ray Allen reveals that he is abnormal and looks forward to post-game interviews....