in Page 3578 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

ARCO Arena's New Name Will Be A Glorious Tribute To Large-Scale Consumer Fraud
ARCO will become the Placebo Effect Power Balance Pavilion, according to Sactown Royalty. You are, of course, familiar with Power Balance and its wristbands. This is like naming your stadium in honor of pet rocks. [Sactown Royalty]...

Michigan Man Brady Hoke Will Coach Michigan Men At Michigan, According To Michigan
Michigan Man Brady "Michigan Man" Hoke is a Michiganly Michigan Man who Michigan Manned at Michigan for Michigan years. "Michigan Men are Michiganed to announce the Michiganing of Michigan Man," said Michigan's director of Michletics. Michigan Michigan Schembechler Michigan? Man. [MGoBlue, ESPN]...

Maybe The Problem Was You, Iowa State
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Gene Chizik knows haters gonna hate....

"Golden Radio Voice" Guy Has Golden Mugshot History
Courtesy of "NFL Facts and Rumors" via The Smoking Gun comes visual documentation as to why the Ted Williams had trouble getting a job. Also, he was detained by LAPD early this morning for squabbling. [The Smoking Gun]...

The Fundamental Rule Of Public Masturbation
If you're at a gym and you put your shit in a locker and you don't put a lock on that locker, don't you deserve to have all your shit taken out of that locker and burned in front of you? I say yes. Nothing worse than a seemingly available gym locker that turns out to be taken by some shithead who ca...

Oregon Wasn't As Fast As Nike Made Them Look
There was method to the madness of Oregon's uniforms last night, according to Nike's top uniform designer. Here are their neon green secrets....

Last Night's Winner: Cecil Newton Made It After All
"Limited access" to the team means one thing to normal people like me or you, and another thing entirely to Cecil Newton. Despite Auburn saying he wouldn't be in attendance, there he was, cheering on his son. Season over, Cecil Newton wins....

Goal Of The Year Wasn't The Year's Best Goal (Among Other FIFA Ballon d'Or Oversights)
This post, written by Richard Anderson, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff....

Brent Musburger, Shilling For Tortilla Chips Since 2002
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: "Ravishing" Rick Rude
An occasional feature in which we honor the sport's fallen and examine their legacies. Today: "Ravishing" Rick Rude, who died in 1999 of heart failure possibly caused by a drug overdose....

Chip Kelly Hopes Cam Newton Sprains An Ankle
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the Oregon gameplan is simple....

NHL's Weird Superhero Tie-In Reaches Nadir Not To Be Equaled Until Tomorrow, Probably
Been following along with the unveiling of the NHL's "Guardians?" Oh ho, are you missing out....

Quickish.com Has Arrived
Our good friend Dan Shanoff has launched Quickish.com, a collection of real-time sports news recommendations. It's like a very well-tended Twitter feed, minus the Peter Gammons cryptograms....

Weekend Winner: Braylon Edwards Puts Off Judgment Day
Remember that DWI charge, which Braylon Edwards wasn't punished for because the Jets and the league say they can't do anything until he has his day in court? It's been pushed back, again. The Manhattan District Attorney works slower than Roger Goodell....

Theo Walcott Admits He Took A Dive
This post, written by Josh Burt, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff....

Clyde Frazier Killed A Zoo To Make His Outfit
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Eyes Of Peyton Manning Pool With Sorrow
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Confusion Over Garza-Benoit Confusion Finally Resolved
So the Chicago Sun-Times wasn't the only paper to mix up Matt Garza and Joaquín Benoit. The Daily Herald made the same mistake. But don't blame the papers. The error originated with a bad cutline from a wire photographer. Asshole....

Watch Marshawn Lynch Geaux To The House
The Seahawks salted away the Saints with the play you see here. Sorry, Marcus Allen. You can have your 74 yards and Facenda voiceover. Marshawn Lynch just gave us the most "holy shit" run in postseason history....

Your Happy-Footed Jets-Colts Open Thread
With the wheezing green clown car that is the New York Jets football club lurching into a wild card berth, we are guaranteed at least one more opportunity for an awkward fetishist press conference that will eventually become a Coors Light ad....