in Page 3582 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The LeBron Jersey Guy From The Indians Game Speaks!
Matt Bellamy, who riled up an entire city, says he'd move to Florida too if he could find a way. But the siren song of Sandusky is too strong! [Cleveland Frowns]...

Another Stupid Piece Of News About Stupid Brett Favre That's Just So Stupid
I hate writing this stuff, but the numbers show that you people care. So help stop the cycle, and don't click on this post....

Checking Back In With Rick Pitino's Sperm
"Defense attorney asks how could she have become pregnant then if he did not ejaculate. Pitino testifies, 'I did, down my leg.'...

Sen. Jim Bunning, R-Pluto, Thinks Stephen Strasburg Is A Wuss
Bunning, onetime pitcher and current obstreperous shitbag, waggled his cane yesterday at young Strasburg: "Five-hundred twenty starts, I never refused the ball. What a joke!" Then he clutched his shoulder and cried, "My arm!" That was either sarcasm or thrombosis. [Politico, via]...

Scenes From LeBron's Too-Hot-For-ESPN Weekend In Vegas
A reader sends along these photos from the LeBacchanalia in Vegas. No naked ladies, but there is a man floating away to some casual Friday in the sky, and everyone seems to teeter precariously on the verge of fist-bumping everyone else....

Last Night's Winner: The Jews
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the People of the Book, who, in addition to controlling the media, now control the paint at MSG thanks to Amar'e Stoudemire's newfound faith....

Sir, You Cannot Wear That LeBron Jersey In Cleveland Unless You Go Through The Proper Editorial Process
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

When Mutton Bustin' Goes Horribly Wrong
Derekscott "Bubba" Kirby is like all small children in the Southwest: he's a mutton buster. However, unlike most mutton busters, little Derekscott is infected with E. coli....

Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Some MMA Guy
Welcome back to Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater, the occasional feature in which athlete highlights are synced to somewhat inappropriate music. Today, a twist: "highlights" of MMA fighter and loudmouth Chael Sonnen tapping out, set to the propulsive "Hate Me Now" by Nas....

Rick Pitino Lasted 15 Seconds, And Other Things Of Note
Pitino took the stand today in the case of the woman accused of extorting him, and hot-damn, this case just keeps on giving....

Lorenzen Wright Found Dead In Memphis (UPDATES)
Former NBA player Lorenzen Wright, missing since the weekend, has been found In a wooded area in southeast Memphis. Police are also investigating a 911 hangup from Wright's cellphone that was made Monday....

Chad Ochocinco Might Have Disproportionate Expectations For This Season
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Bengals wide receiver Chad Ochocinco....

I-Report: Startling Developments In The Case Of Jeff Samardzija's Baseball Reference Page Sponsor
In April, the I-Team was dispatched to find out as much as possible about Jeff Samardzija's Daytona days. One goal was to discover the identity of "Bootstraps the Bussie," judgmental sponsor of The Shark's* Baseball Reference page. Now, a twist!...

The Latest Gross Stuff From The Sexxxy Rick Pitino Extortion Trial
Lester Goetzinger, "a late 50s 'Bobby' from 'King of the Hill,'" met Sypher while turning on her gas. She knew his name "because I was wearing it on my shirt." He'd later make the extortion calls after receiving oral sex. [KentuckySportsRadio]...

There's A List Of Swimming Coaches Who May Or May Not Molest Your Children, But It's A Secret
The good news: USA Swimming has a list of 46 members banned for the giant sexual abuse scandal. The bad news: there's another list of people under suspicion, who are still free to coach. [AP]...

Jack Tatum Killed Darryl Stingley, And We Made Him Do It
Football fans for decades have demanded bigger, stronger, faster players and harder hits. Jack Tatum gave you what you wanted. Were you not entertained?...

Last Night's Winner: Cum Husks?
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the wholly baffling sign at last night's Phillies game, which has the Internet abuzz with speculation....

Fan Vomits At Phillies Game: The Sequel
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Deadspin I-Team: The Case Of Matthew Berry's Friend Hooking Up With An Oscar-Winning Actress
I-Team: Assemble! Today's mystery revolves around The Talented Mr. Roto's adventures In Hollywoodland. Turns out one of Matthew Berry's friends pulled a much better-looking woman than Berry thought possible, and Berry is keeping the details in a lock box....

Ahmadinejad Says Paul The Octopus Spreading "Western Propaganda And Superstition"
Iran's president accused Paul of representing all that's wrong with western society, in multiple speeches over the weekend. No, I think that was Dutch soccer. [Daily Telegraph via Unprofessional Foul]...