in Page 3586 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

We Want To See Your Ironic NBA Jerseys (UPDATE)
Yesterday, we posted a quicklink to The Faster Times's gallery of indie bros wearing NBA jerseys at the Pitchfork Festival. It's a fascinating phenomenon, a game even, as if they're actively trying to wear the most ridiculous NBA jersey imaginable....

Ooh, Ooh: Cristiano Ronaldo Is Getting Married!
Frankly, thank Christ for Facebook — without it, Cristiano Ronaldo's life might maintain an element of mystique, but then everyone would be bored....

A Compendium Of Horrible, Horrible Twitter Poetry
Twitter is an inherently silly and disposable means of communication. Oh, but there are people out there who take their tweets seriously. Very seriously. AFFIRMED....

Dodgers Lose Another One, This Time To The Rulebook
We love it when a manager uses the rulebook to his advantage. Bruce Bochy caught acting Dodgers manager Don Mattingly inadvertently stepping off the mound during the visit to his pitcher, and the resulting nitpick gave the Giants a victory....

Last Night's Winner: The NHL Growing A Pair For Once
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the NHL, which by rejecting Ilya Kovalchuk's contract did the right thing; unfortunately they've been doing the wrong thing for so long, they just come off hypocritical....

And In The 7th, Someone Tried To Throw A Chair At Beck And O'Reilly, But It Hit Geraldo In The Nose
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...

Carl Crawford Takes A Major League Nutshot
Here's Crawford taking a pickoff throw in a very sensitive area. He would leave the game, with our sympathies....

Best News Lede Ever? Best News Lede Ever.
"A German court on Tuesday threw out the case of a schoolteacher against a pupil who allegedly tormented her by scrawling pictures of rabbits on the blackboard to aggravate her rabbit phobia." [The Local] (H/T Tom K.)...

Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Jeremy Lin
Today's Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape-e: Harvard man and future D-Leaguer, Jeremy Lin cut to the Teshian rhythms and St. Louisan rhymes of Nelly's "Heart of A Champion." ...

America's Dumbest Student-Athlete: Tremaine Billie, Clemson University
Mr. Billie AKA "T.Billie" has received multiple nominations thanks to the unfortunate "e-portfolio" he created when he was a student. It's a masterpiece....

Hipsters Are Wearing Your Old NBA Jerseys
This gallery of Pitchfork Festival denizens provides definitive proof that hipsters are now wearing old NBA jerseys at an even more obnoxious rate than previously imagined. But you probably haven't heard of these players, they're pretty obscure. [The Faster Times]...

You Will Never Guess Which <em>First Take</em> Talking Head's Bicep This Is
I know, I guessed Dana Jacobson too, but wrong. Give up? Holy shit, it's Skip Bayless!...

Today In Things Making You Fatter: Baseball
Shocking news out of the halls of SI today: all-you-can-eat deals at baseball games are extremely unhealthy, and teams might have some ethical obligation to stop such promotions. To the pull-quotes!...

Area Man Hits Two Holes In One
His name is Rich Schultz (yellow polo, large grin, Jersey tan), but please don't call him "Two Holes" because that's somewhat suggestive. Odds of him hitting two holes in one during a single round? 26,045,834 to 1. [Allentown Morning Call]...

It's Your Last Chance To See Lou Piniella Gesticulate Wildly On The Field
Lou Piniella will retire following this season, adding yet another name to the ignoble list of those the Cubs have irrevocably broken. [Chicago Breaking Sports]...

Time To Talk Wife Swapping
I ate a steak last night with béarnaise sauce, and I'm now of the age where doing something like that has definitive and brutal consequences. Oh yes. I'm talking about meat sweats. You know the kind. You wake up at 4AM sweating beefy juices. Your heart feels like a fucking 90-ton weight. You feel li...

John Kruk Thinks Prince Fielder Isn't Too Fat
Teams should pay Fielder millions of dollars and not worry about his weight, says a man who was paid millions of dollars and refused to drop pounds. He then proceeded to pick his teeth with one of Mickey Morandini's de-fleshed ribs. [ESPN.com]...

Last Night's Winner: Whatever's Left Of Sportswriting's Conscience
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Dave Kindred, who the other day threw some heat at Mitch Albom's bean and gave us moderate hope that the sportswriting establishment isn't completely out to lunch....

Jennie Finch Retiring From Leisure Activity
She's calling it quits at age 29, even though softball is designed for 50-year-olds. Oh no! Without Finch as a draw, how will we — well, continue not paying attention to professional softball? [AP]...

Someone Just Told Julio Borbon He Has To Spend 14 Innings In Detroit
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....