in Page 3588 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Sheppard, Steinbrenner, (not) Berra
Woe was the New York Yankees website associate tasked with with writing the "Berra misses Old-Timer's Day after fall" release today after a week of franchise death notices....
Painting of Tiger Woods Vomiting
If you're a puke-play enthusiast/fetishist, you've probably already started panhandling for the $80 necessary to purchase this gem out of West Oakland....
When Notre Dame Football Players Get Arrested, Touchdown Jesus Weeps
Ain't no party like a South Bend party, cause by the time a South Bend house party gets stopped by police, someone's hand is going to get lacerated and some police officer's camera is going to take a mugshot of Joe Montana's son Nate....
Buy Anna Kournikova For 15 Minutes
Add the Philadelphia Freedoms professional tennis team to the "Needs to Re-learn How Liam Neeson Reacts to Human Trafficking" list....
Mayweather/Pacquiao Deadline Passes, Mayweather/Pacquiao Deadline Doesn't Really Pass
As far as media conference calls go, the 3 a.m. ones are the best....
Looking Back On It, ESPN Editor Was Very Impressed With ESPN Event
If you're curious what a lame, easily starstruck ESPN shill sounds like after he's been put in close proximity to Very Famous People, please read this wet fart of a column by Page 2 factotum and pizza critic Lynn Hoppes....
Hot New Trend Sweeping Through Suburban Chicago: Beating The Crap Out Of Mascots
Have you heard? Anybody who's anybody knows that the coolest thing to do now—at least in the lawless cesspool of the northwest suburbs of Chicago—is to beat up a mascot at an amusement park. Random assault fever—catch it!...
In Which We Try To Class Up That Burger King Parking Lot Fight Video
Yesterday's fight video was so operatic in scale and intensity of emotion that we figured we'd give it the soundtrack it deserves....
Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Rony Seikaly
Today on Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: the Spin Doctor, Rony Seikaly. Marvel at his barrage of low-post moves and plus-ability to rock the old nylon warm-ups, all while enjoying the incongruously hard rhymes of the rap group Atmosphere....
America's Dumbest Student-Athlete Nominee: Eric, University of Wisconsin-Parkside
From a reader named Mark: This is an essay from a former University of Wisconsin-Parkside wrestler for an intro to writing class....
Ochocinco. Gambling. In His Briefs. Sure, Why Not.
Chad appears to be having a grand old time in Vegas. Just don't ask where he keeps his roll of quarters. [Twitter]...
Paul The Psychic Octopus Caught Up In Transfer Battle
With the World Cup over, the fate of Paul the Octopus has been on everyone's mind. The Spoiler's Richard Gilzene has the latest....
Cockblocked by Nick Swisher! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase a few heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Won't You Please Help Protect Our Fragile Baseball Players?
Russell Branyan is day-to-day after stubbing his toe while closing the curtains. Mat Latos goes on the DL with a strain suffered while attempting to hold back a sneeze. This is where you lie and claim a tranny hooker beat you up....
Last Night's Winner: The Ugly-Ass LeBron James Pendant's Sense Of Self-Worth
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the $10,000 LeBron James pendant, which would be happy to know how loved and wanted it is — if it were alive. Hmmm......
Breaking: Man Customizes Replica Jersey To Make Lewd Joke
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Midshipman, Indeed: Navy Player Sees Your Greg Oden-Grinding-On-A-Lady Photo And, Um, Raises You
The man getting his friction on in the above picture, a la Oden, is former Navy Midshipmen cornerback Lord Cole. At least I think it is. The only pictures I can find of him are a little blurry or inconclusive....
Darko Milicic Is Bread From God, And Other Crazy Things David Kahn Believes
"It was like," Timberwolves GM David Kahn said yesterday, "manna from heaven." By "it," he of course means Darko Milicic, and by "manna" he does not mean "flaky white substance blanketing the ground," even though he should....
Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Gordon Hayward
Today's Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape is a real gem: Utah Jazz draftee Gordon Hayward showing off a barrage of put-backs and solid fundamentals to the ferocious "Straight Outta Compton" by NWA. ...
Headbutt Clears Way For Tour De France Stage Win
Mark Cavendish took today's 11th stage, thanks to some well-timed headbutts from teammate Mark Renshaw. Renshaw became the first rider kicked out of the Tour, but it was totally worth it....