in Page 3649 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Howard Stern Prank Caller Fools ESPN
SportsCenter was so thrilled to get "Brian Westbrook" on the phone, they skipped a very important step: making sure it was actually Westbrook, and not a Stern disciple expressing his desire to worship Stern's prostate....

Tiger Woods Apologizes To A Bunch Of Toddlers
No, that headline doesn't refer to the wire services so loathed by Craggs. The Woods family wrote a note of apology to their daughter's daycare classmates....

Blame Canada, Says Canada
Somebody's got to be the scapegoat for the host nation's disappointing medal count. The athletes, for not living up to expectations? The COC for setting unrealistic expectations? The fans for being too passionate? Bingo....

NBC To West Coast Hockey Fans: "Kiss Our Moose!"
Ready for some fresh NBC outrage? Just wait until tomorrow, when Oregon discovers that the broadcast for USA Hockey's quarterfinal doesn't start until three hours after the actual game does. I understand hockey really comes to life on the radio....

Raptors Mascot Fails To Sublimate Prey Drive, Eats Cheerleader
Also found in his digestive tract: Hedo Turkoglu's jump shot. [YouTube]...

Basketball Players Should Touch Each Other More Often, Science Urges
Scientists, those smart people who split the atom and cured polio, have charted hugs and high fives for every NBA team and concluded that, as The New York Times puts it, "good teams tended to be touchier than bad ones."...

Cleveland Indians: God Save The Fans
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Cleveland Indians....

Dilemma: Why Can't Ski Jumping Be More Dangerous?
In the era of murderous luge runs and five-story mogul jumps, putting waxed floorboards on your feet and throwing yourself off a mountain just isn't what it used to be. Where have you gone, Vinko Bogataj? [NY Times/Pat's Papers]...

Last Night's Winner: Dance! Dance! Dance!
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like fans of competitive ice dancing, otherwise known as people who enjoy Linkin Park, uncomfortable sibling romance and the Holocaust. The Olympics have something for everyone!...

Everything Tiger Woods Does Is Funnier In Retrospect
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Locker Room Boxing May Be Leading To Canada's Hockey Downfall
A shocking exposé by the Toronto Star has revealed a dark secret of Canadian youth hockey—twisted teenage Fight Clubs organized in team locker rooms. It also revealed another secret: This happens all time and no one cares....

Lindsey Vonn Has Not Yet Found Room In Her Heart To Believe In Tiger Woods Again
Of the people who hugged Tiger after his statement last week, Vonn says: "They're like, 'Yeah, you're awesome, you go have that sex.'" [Time, via]...

Knee-High Boots Can Still Be Found On SportsCenter Set
The fiery red may have inflamed too many passions, but paired with a sensible skirt the kicks are still considered an appropriate compliment to Nets highlights. Duly noted....

Squash Players Are Just The Worst
Have you seen the trash-talking squash player video? It so matches the intensity of football or basketball that I almost wish those sports had never been invented so I wouldn't have to see squash players acting like such goons....

The Olympics Have Daddy Issues
Slate's Sap-o-Meter reports: "Cumulatively, the words father, dad, and son were uttered a staggering 47 times between Friday and Sunday," largely on the strength of an Apolo Ohno feature. The Winter Olympics are the new baseball. [Slate]...

NYU Business School Professor Has Mastered The Art Of Email Flaming
A student at NYU's Stern School of Business sent a complaint email to a hard-headed professor about his class's lateness policy. The professor emailed back, eviscerated the student David Mamet-style, and now it's gone viral. Welcome to internet immorality....

Boorish Americans Win The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like obnoxious United Statesians who are now free to gloat over their nation's Olympic triumphs as exultant underdogs instead of domineering bullies. Suck it, Earth!...

Great Spirit, Wrong Olympics
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Boner Stabone Is Missing At The Olympics
If you find yourself in and around Vancouver for tonight's epic US/Canada matchup, do be on the lookout for Mike Seaver's best bud. His friends and family are very worried....

DDate.com - The Leading Douchebag Singles Network
Now, remind me again, which aspect of this ad for a dating website was supposed to entice women? Was it the sideways pseudo-gang sign? The fact that he's at Cowboys Stadium, so clearly a fan? Or the t-shirt insinuating rape?...