in Page 3677 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Won't You Please Help Protect Our Fragile Baseball Players?
Russell Branyan is day-to-day after stubbing his toe while closing the curtains. Mat Latos goes on the DL with a strain suffered while attempting to hold back a sneeze. This is where you lie and claim a tranny hooker beat you up....

Last Night's Winner: The Ugly-Ass LeBron James Pendant's Sense Of Self-Worth
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the $10,000 LeBron James pendant, which would be happy to know how loved and wanted it is — if it were alive. Hmmm......

Breaking: Man Customizes Replica Jersey To Make Lewd Joke
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Midshipman, Indeed: Navy Player Sees Your Greg Oden-Grinding-On-A-Lady Photo And, Um, Raises You
The man getting his friction on in the above picture, a la Oden, is former Navy Midshipmen cornerback Lord Cole. At least I think it is. The only pictures I can find of him are a little blurry or inconclusive....

Darko Milicic Is Bread From God, And Other Crazy Things David Kahn Believes
"It was like," Timberwolves GM David Kahn said yesterday, "manna from heaven." By "it," he of course means Darko Milicic, and by "manna" he does not mean "flaky white substance blanketing the ground," even though he should....

Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Gordon Hayward
Today's Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape is a real gem: Utah Jazz draftee Gordon Hayward showing off a barrage of put-backs and solid fundamentals to the ferocious "Straight Outta Compton" by NWA. ...

Headbutt Clears Way For Tour De France Stage Win
Mark Cavendish took today's 11th stage, thanks to some well-timed headbutts from teammate Mark Renshaw. Renshaw became the first rider kicked out of the Tour, but it was totally worth it....

How To Protect Yourself From Excessive Rimjobbing
No time to waste. We again go right to your letters:...

When World Cup Third-Place Final Celebrations Go Wrong
Remember kids: buckle up for safety. Especially when your mate is a flash twat with a sensitive accelerator pedal....

Burger King Parking Lot In Oakland Is The Venue For One Of The Most Disturbing Things You'll Ever See (UPDATE)
To sum up: Pantsless, mouthy pregnant ladies fighting. One mouthy pregnant lady getting jumped by two people, then getting knocked out by dude smoking a joint. Old lady then attacks mouthy pregnant lady. Police are...somewhat present? Fin. (NSFW?) [BarStoolSportsJr.]...

Read This Now: The True Story Of The <em>Price Is Right</em> Perfect Bid Scandal
Chris Jones, he of that other really good Roger Ebert piece, has a story in the recent Esquire about the time card-counter Terry Kniess guesstimated a perfect bid and pissed off Drew Carey in the process. [Esquire]...

Last Night's Winner: Brett Favre's Unsmiling Daughter
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Breleigh Ann Favre, 11-year-old spawn of Brett, unamused ESPYs guest, symbol of a disgruntled sports nation....

Mike Tyson Shows Up To Back League One Team
Why on earth would Tyson be in the East of England, crashing Indian restaurants, donning a Peterborough kit before their friendly with West Ham, and charging players for a photo with him? It's Mike Tyson. Why not?...

The 8 Things I Learned Using Sports-Figure iPhone Apps
It was only a matter of time before athletes and other sports figures got into the iPhone app game, and now, thanks to one company, they have done so only as modern sports celebrities can: tackily....

Brett Favre's Daughter Is Not Amused By The ESPYs
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Deadspin Classic: ESPN Will Never, Ever Do This Again
In 1998, Norm Macdonald hosted the ESPYs and did just about everything short of setting the room on fire. It was the last time ESPN even got close to being dangerous, and it was the last time the ESPYs were worth watching....

Cats Playing Soccer? Cats Playing Soccer
Cats? Playing soccer....

Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Joe Alexander
Hello and welcome to Incongruous Mix-Tape Theater, an occasional feature in which we look at fan-made athlete highlight reels set to wildly inapt music. Sort of like this one. Today's mix-tape: NBA free agent Joe Alexander; music by rappers The Team....

ESPN Editor Is Very Impressed With ESPN Event
If you're curious what a lame, easily starstruck ESPN shill sounds like when he's put in close proximity to Very Famous People, please check out the Twitter feed of Page 2 factotum and pizza critic Lynn Hoppes....

The Stadium Capacity Arms Race Is On
Michigan Stadium, opening after renovations, will again be the nation's largest with a capacity of 109,901. They've still got a ways to go to catch Pyongyang's Rŭngrado May Day Stadium, which seats 150,000. [Free Press]...