in Page 3705 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Angry Interplanetary Ice Bear Will Destroy Anchorage, Bring Back Hockey
Seriously, this bear is fucking pissed. Wouldn't you be if you were the mascot for an obscure college hockey team in Fairbanks and then got banished to the stars? I would certainly want to smash some shit up, starting with that small moon over there. Do not fuck with the Nanook Space Bear....

Ford Field Pants Dropper Can Totally Explain This
As you would probably expect, when one dude is caught on camera choking out another dude who isn't wearing pants the natural response is usually, "It's not what you think!" Well, the gentleman on top has finally spoken up....

Rushin Literature
Steve Rushin, the punster who used to write awesome features and dreadful columns for Sports Illustrated, has a novel dropping next year. It's about "a friendly and unassuming lover of clever wordplay and television sports." Steve's really stretching himself. [Amazon]...

Un-Rubbed Balls Create Sticky Situation For Cardinals
John Smoltz thinks the reason he got roughed up last night is because his balls were not properly rubbed down. Yet, opposing pitcher Bronson Arroyo threw just fine. Is it because he was rubbing something special on his own balls?...

Please Wipe Down The Rim After Dunking
According to the Boston Herald, the NBA has issued "an anti-handshake" directive, asking players to fist or chest bump each other to combat swine flu. Also, please use a handkerchief when boxing out. [Herald/NoGutsNoGlory]...

More Jerseys For Your Closet Of Awesomeness
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

HGH Is P.O.'ed At T.O.
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Think There's No Cheating In Baseball?
Here's Joe Mauer, in Tuesday night's game, blatantly tipping pitches from second base. Trust me when I say there's nothing extraordinary about this sort of thing. [Via Total Pro Sports]...

Thanks For Your Years Of Service, Drunky
It's not uncommon for the media to take pleasure in seeing certain players get traded away. But maybe you don't need to run photos of his underage drinking alongside the story....

It's Business As Usual For Insane Wizards
Nick Young thinking he's James Brown. Mike James barking like a dog. The entire team Hula'ing invisible hoops. Yes, there was a hypnotist at training camp, but no one would be shocked if there hadn't been. [WaPo]...

The Philadelphia Phillies Look Toward October Once Again
The post-WFC comedown has clearly not affected this Fightins' fan, who still has the Zook-like intensity of a man still thirsting for a championship. If the Phillies win tonight, they'll have clinched the NL East for the third straight year....

You, Too, Can Absorb Blake Griffin's Power
Sports memorabilia blogger Andrew Long certainly thought so. So he met up with Griffin at an organized autograph session and presented him with a delicious sandwich. Griffin graciously signed both halves and then Long devoured one, believing that Blake's lifeforce, transferred via bread, will bestow...

The Learning Curve: So Yoked
This segment is called "The Learning Curve" where you, young blog proprietor, will get a link to your new site on Deadspin. Any and all questions you may have about being a successful blogger will (hopefully) be answered....

NFL Highlight Of The Week: Favre Did It!
Because the NFL has such a stingy rebroadcast policy, we've decided to recreate the week's best highlight using a white gerbil, a tree frog and actual game audio. Suspend disbelief....

September: <em>Fin</em>.
We produce a lot of posts every month. Most of them disappear quickly. Some of them don't. Here are the 10 most popular posts from September, ranked low to high....

A Very Special Chat Tomorrow...
Perk up, comment gremlins, for an amazing opportunity awaits you. On tomorrow's edition of "Book Excerpts That Don't Suck", we'll be joined by noted author and and pisser-of-shit, H.G. "Buzz" Bissinger who will talk about his book, "Shooting Stars"....

Brady Quinn's Wild Ride Comes To An End. For Now.
Yes, campers, Derek Anderson (née Horse Balls) has been summoned to save the struggling football team in Cleveland once again. [SI/WaitingForNextYear/ClevelandFrowns]...

Eric Wedge: Dead Man Walking
Manager Eric Wedge and his coaching staff will finish out the season on the Cleveland Indians bench. But don't worry—he's still totally fired. [Plain Dealer]...

Binghamton Clear Out Includes Teacher Who Criticized Team (UPDATE: And AD)
A cleansing fire claimed six Binghamton basketball players as the program tries to erase its myriad problems, but the university went a little further by dismissing a professor who had publicly criticized the program. So nothing more to see here!...

Ric Flair's Limo, Fancy Suits Were Key To Gamecocks Upset
The Nature Boy is apparently a fan of South Carolina football and was not afraid to intimidate Ole Miss fans last week with his very expensive suits. Final score: 16-10, Gamecocks. WHOO! [SpursUp]...