in Page 3720 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Night On Ubaldo Mountain
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Robert Lee Will Sell You A Mobile Home, Terrify You
What does saying "a bouncer in Birmingham hit me in the face with a crescent wrench five times" have to do with selling mobile homes? Not a thing, but I'll be damned if Robert Lee isn't a great pitchman. [YouTube]...

Stories That Don't Suck, With Special Guest Host
Today, our pal Alex Belth, proprietor of Bronx Banter, is taking the reins. He's selected four stories for your enjoyment....

No Signs Of Intelligent Life At Yankee Stadium
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Commish Gives Salary Cap A Boost
David Stern has lifted the salary cap for next season to $56.1 million, roughly $4 million higher than expected. Great news for the Knicks, who can now afford Carlos Boozer, Ray Allen, and nice crutches for the both of them. [TrueHoop]...

Victor Conte Leaks "Sugar" Shane Mosley PED Admission
Mosley is suing Conte because he claims he didn't know what was in those injections he was getting from BALCO. That's a little harder to believe after Conte blew up his spot by releasing video of Mosley's deposition....

Have You Seen This Man’s Penis? GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Last Night's Winner: Not This Guy
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Unlike this Phillies fan, who on Wednesday at Citizens Bank Park allegedly jammed his fingers down his throat and vomited on an 11-year-old girl and her father....

Spandex-Wearing Men Humiliate Defenseman, Selves
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Security Guard Beats Up Fan At Dodgers Game
This video, shot on Opening Day at Dodger Stadium, has it all: some casual racism, a flying chest-kick, the security-guard-on-fan action that everyone loves, and the inevitable Greek chorus yelling, "It's going on YouTube!" [YouTube; earlier]...

It's Professional Naked Lady Bobblehead Night
The Las Vegas 51s gave away bobbleheads of Holly Madison, the number one gal in Hugh Hefner's harem. A bobblehead? I can't masturbate to that. [Rick Chandler]...

<i>Chicago Tribune</i> Writer Sits On Fighting Bulls Scoop, <i>Sun-Times</i> Has No Problem With That
TNT's Craig Sager reported that Chicago Tribune writer K.C. Johnson knew about the John Paxson-Vinny Del Negro dustup weeks ago, but kept quiet "out of respect" for the coach. Obviously, this makes Craig Sager an unprincipled hack....

Indoor Cycling Crash Cleaves Bike In Two, Startles Racers
This crash happened at the UCI Track Cycling World Championship last month in Copenhagen. Alarming as it is, everyone seems to be fine. Otherwise, playing a peppy Killers song afterward would've been in very bad taste. [Break]...

Canucks Can Have As Much Sex As They Can Get Want
Vancouver's coach says players' sleep and nutrition are tightly controlled, but the sex is up to them. The first round will be an interesting contrast, as "hockey player" is the one profession that won't get you laid in L.A. [Via]...

Scott Stapp Ruins Baseball
Here's Stapp, known to you as lead singer for the band that made you hate both music and God, howling a song called "Marlins Will Soar." Sample lyric: "Let's play ball, it's gameday. We want strikeouts, base hits, double plays." [Stapp's Blog]...

Last Night's Winner: Rule Breakers
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like underdog teams that aren't supposed to win on the road, but now have the advantage in the NHL Playoffs. F*@kin' upsets....how do they work?...

We Found The One Lady In The Building Not Expecting A Sharks Choke
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Fishing Tourney Cheat Heads To Jail
A Texas man is going to prison(!) for exaggerating the size of his bass by shoving a lead weight down its throat before the weigh-in....

Dodger Games Slightly Less Violent and Chaotic This Year
Did you know tailgating is illegal in Dodger Stadium parking lots? Neither did the 132 arrested at the home opener yesterday—which is still better than last season when a guy got stabbed. That's progress! [LA Times]...

Jim Nantz, You Suck! Goddammit!
Nantz pronounces himself appalled at Tiger's naughty language. "How about the father and son who are standing right there by the tee? How about the hundreds of people who are around that tee who hear that?" How about you fuck yourself? [Chron.com]...