in Page 3753 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Old Man At The Lakers Game Continues To Let Everyone Know They've Failed
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Florida State Takes Strong Stance On Chair-On-Face Violence
Florida State wide receiver Richard Goodman was arrested and charged with a felony for that on campus brawl last fall and has been suspended from the team. Oh, so suddenly the Seminoles doesn't want their players hitting women in the face with chairs? Sheesh, make up your mind. [Orlando Sentinel]...

Only The British Can Make Soccer Sound Like Fellatio
The Guardian, liveblogging Barca-Man U: "Stroke … pass … triangle … slide-rule pass … back-heel … tip … tap … slide-rule pass … neat triangle … neat triangle … neat triangle … through-ball … languid stroke … flick … trap … deft touch … chest … clatter … hoof." [Guardian]...

What You Need To Know About The NBA's Jaunty Superfan
He's the multi-millionaire (but not quite a billionaire) sporting the cowboy hat on his head and God-knows-what on his torso, and he happens to sit courtside at a terrifyingly astounding number of NBA games, sometimes carrying European models, all the time hobnobbing with the league's superstars. Me...

Whoops, Sports Aren't So Recession-Proof After All
Turns out, it's proving difficult for the next Theo Epsteins and Jerry Maguires to catapult from frat parties to their dream jobs, so they're stuck cleaning minor league stadiums and taking unpaid internships at women's tennis tournaments. Tell me about it. I would write more, but Daulerio needs lun...

Barcelona and Manchester United Fight Over World's Remaining Marbles
I think I can say without hyperbole that for soccer nuts, today is like Christmas, Fourth of July, and the Super Bowl all rolled into one—only 100 million times bigger. It's the UEFA Champions League Final Day ... and you stupid Yanks are stuck at work!...

This Is Why Football Does Not Have Innings
A ridiculous experiment in "inning-based" football degenerated into a bench-clearing, crowd-rioting brawl, all because former Michigan quarterback Todd Collins does not understand the basic principles of clock management....

'Whole Lot Of People Puckered Up' After Florida Steroid Bust, Says Comical Backwoods Sheriff
What happens when you mix steroid hysteria with two self-aggrandizing backwoods halfwits on either side of the law? This: "What investigators aren't sure of is whether Richard Thomas, 35, is telling the truth when he said ... he sold mostly to professional athletes," specifically those on the Capita...

A Game Of “Healthy Fat Or Unhealthy Fat” With Martellus Bennett
Our Deadcast guest this week is none other than Martellus Bennett: tight end for the Dallas Cowboys, expert blogger and renowned Twitter fiend....

College Kid Sleeps On Toilet Before Amazing Runs
College student Justin Weber didn't have a hotel room the night before running a big ten-mile race, so he slept in a port-a-john. Then he won the race in the morning. I don't know about you, but I think that story is a bunch of crap. [The Jock Itch]...

Sidney Crosby Taunts The Hockey Gods
The Penguins polished off a nice cold pitcher of Hurricanes last night, earning a return trip to the Stanley Cup Finals and a chance at redemption. Then captain Sidney Crosby just thumbed his nose at all that by skating around the ice with the Prince of Wales Trophy....

Scary Old She-Male In Plastic Gold Jacket Haunts The Sidelines (UPDATE)
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Tim Tebow Turns Away Hotter Stuff Than You Can Dream Of
Percy Harvin, presented without comment: "If I could trade places for a day with anyone: Tim Tebow....We saw all kind of actors and news reporters just kind of blatantly say, "Tebow, I want you." And he turned them down. I'm looking at him, like, "Man, you are crazy." [Pioneer Press]...

Anquan Boldin To Drew Rosenhaus: You Have Failed Me, Now Go
Boldin fires Rosenhaus; Rosenhaus makes lemonade: "I'm hopeful we can work this out and he can return to the Rosenhaus Sports family in the near future. We are proud to continue to represent his brother, D.J. Boldin."[ESPN]...

A Stroll Through The Infield At Indy
In Detroit, I lost a rental car for six hours. In Miami, I left all of my clothes in the hotel dresser. Since I was bringing a "photographer" to the Indy 500, there would be little chance of me leaving something behind. Unfortunately, he lost his camera....

Michael Jordan Loves Chicago Almost As Much As He Loves Nike
An animatronic Jordan doll donned a Blackhawks jersey at the United Center this weekend, to show his support for the "hometown" boys—but not before he had team officials sew a red patch over the Reebok logo. Nothing to see here, Mr. Knight! [Puck Daddy]...

One-Handed Baller Nabs His Scholarship
Turns out, being a 6-foot-10 center was more important than having a full left arm for Kevin Laue, the subject of a New York Times profile and the recent recipient of a scholarship to play basketball for Manhattan College. How did Manhattan's coaches discover Laue? The Times' story, naturally. [NYT]...

When Will America End The Deadly Scourge Of School Bus Racing?
Forget about NASCAR's restrictor plate insanity—what racing authorities really need to concentrate on is how to keep the time-honored sport of figure-eight school bus races from turning into a degrading carnival side-show. Remember when it used to be about the bus driving?...

The Nationals Are A Memorial To Failure
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

The Sports Fella's Dream Is Dead
Minnesota picks ex-Pacers GM David Kahn to run their basketball operations. "I promise that nobody will outwork or outthink us as we build one of the best front offices in the league and a team that begins a climb to the top." They should put that on a plaque. [NBA.com]...