in Page 3786 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Last Night's Winner: Referee Jerome Boger
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like NFL referee Jerome Boger, who must have had something riding on last night's game. Nobody likes Vince Young that much....

Black Friday Request: High School Reunion Horror Stories
So as most of you may know, this is shortened week for most Americans so we can all solemnly commemorate the death of turkeys and indigenous people at the hands of white men wearing buckles on their hats....

Put Away Your Calculators. Joe Mauer Is MVP
Indignant nerds may stand down. Your numerically eviscerating PowerPoint presentation about Derek Jeter's faults is both lovely and precise, but will not be needed this year. (Only an idiotic first-place vote for Miguel Cabrera kept it from being unanimous.) [MPR]...

High Schooler Celebrates Meaningless Block With Trip To The Gun Show
This ridiculous Tecmo Bowl punt return is okay, but I'm really posting this for the goofball who blindsides a tackler, then flexes for his buddies while the play is still happening behind him. It's all about you, Anonymous Special Teamer....

Matthew Stafford Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Matthew Stafford, who won the weekend by suddenly turning into Bobby Layne, minus the crippling hangovers....

Full Moon Over Chicago
Considering the flood of emails, you people are all about Devin Hester's ass. I'm not here to judge, so we present it in all its glory after the jump....

Gilbert Arenas Makes A Mockery Of Twitter
Agent Zero refuses to start Twittering until he has a million followers. Uh, Gil, that's not how you do it. Actually, you know what? Twitter's stupid and everyone on it is stupid and this will probably work. [DC Sports Bog]...

University With Weight Requirements Probably Has Terrible Offensive Line
A Pennsylvania college has made BMI as important as GPA when it comes to graduating, and some soon-to-be degree-less fatties are raising a stink....

Ricky Williams - Battier Than You Realized
Williams credits his success and durability this season to a new type of alternative medicine. No, he doesn't mean weed, as we're all assuming. Ricky's "pranic healing" regimen is far stranger....

Nate Robinson, Getting His Terrible Teams Mixed Up
As if the 85-point lead the YES Network spotted them wasn't enough, the Nets also received help from an unlikely source: Nate Robinson shooting at the wrong basket. (I only say "unlikely" because the shot actually went in.)...

Telestrator Dong: An Analysis
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Chad Ochocinco Doesn't Want You Catching Any Venereal Diseases
Somewhat making good on a threat he made during the filming of HBO's Hard Knocks, Chad Ochocinco posted a mockup of what a package of Ocho Cinco Condoms might look like. Are they made out of pigskin? [Black Sports Online]...

Canadian Dads Are Sick Of How Much Their Hockey-Playing Daughters Stink
Canadian fathers, already emasculated by their daughters being better hockey players than they ever were, have directed their misplaced aggression at the noxious fumes emanating from their little princesses' hockey gear....

The Fruit Of Chris Cris Collinsworth's Loins Is A Pretty Good Football Player
Austin Collinsworth, son of Bengals great/awkward commentator Cris Collinsworth, has won the Paul Hornung Award, given to the top high school football player in Kentucky. The question is, how is Austin with the fourteen to eighteen-year old-chicks? [The Cincinnati Enquirer]...

"Faces In the Crowd" Brought To You By Valtrex
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Chuck Klosterman: American Polymath Napkin
Chuck Klosterman plugs his Dinosaur book by doing an interview with the good people at American Polymath blog. Okay, truth be told, this interview gave me a reason to commission another napkin caricature from Craggs....

The One With Jay Mariotti "Napping"
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

Kevin Johnson's Fiancée Accused Of Covering Up His Shady Past
"A congressional investigation of the volunteer organization AmeriCorps contains charges that D.C. schools chief Michelle Rhee handled "damage control" after allegations of sexual misconduct against her now fiance, Sacramento Mayor Kevin Johnson..."[Washington Examiner]...

Tim Lincecum Is High, Young Winner Again
The San Francisco Giants goofy-headed pitcher of countless "Dazed and Confused" jokes has won his second straight Cy Young award. Take that, Nancy Reagan. (Counterpoint from this morning.) [SFGate]...

The Basement Tapes: A Compendium Of Sportswriters' Hacky Jokes About Bloggers
Woody Paige, the orange person always yelling on your television set, recently disagreed with someone on the Internet. He then made a joke suggesting that the blogger still lives in his mother's house. Have you heard this one?...