in Page 3792 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

God Lights The Way For Kurt Warner, Demands 15 Percent
Kurt Warner officially announced his new deal with the Cardinals on Wednesday, saying that it was God who told him to eschew the 49ers and return to Arizona....

Pat Burrell's Vaunted Bat May Actually Be Made Of Maple, Porn Star Says
No idea who Sophia Rossi is, but she's apparently slept with a lot of people. Like Tommy Lee, for instance. Oh, and ex-Phillie (sniffle) Pat Burrell, who she wasn't too impressed with....

Hockey Games Bring Out The Drunk Muppets
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

The NHL Trade Deadline Is A Humbling Affair
While the NBA trade deadline brought approximately two actual deals and the MLB trade deadline has been a washout for years, the NHL version is like playing a video game on franchise mode while drunk....

Momentum Gathering For A College Football Playoff?
Mountain West Conference submits proposal to NCAA for an eight-team playoff to determine the BCS champion. NCAA's likely response: "We have a Mountain West Conference?" [USA Today]...

Hello, This Is President Obama Calling On Behalf Of Oregon State
Oregon State basketball coach Craig Robinson said he wouldn't be above using President Obama for recruiting purposes. Presumably he was kidding. Or considering how competitive Div. I basketball recruiting is, maybe not....

Muhsin Muhammad's House For Sale On eBay
For $1.9 million, you can own Muhammad's 6-bedroom house in south Charlotte. Panther. Swipe. [Charlotte Observer]...

Sad Tale Of Missing Boaters Only Gets Sadder
The Coast Guard suspended its search for Corey Smith, Marquis Cooper and Will Bleakley last night and now begins the mourning, the healing and all the "what went wrong?" wondering....

Warner Loves And Leaves 49ers, Agrees To Makeup Sex With Cardinals
Two days after he was romanced by the 49ers via limo and private jet, Kurt Warner agreed to a two-year deal with the Cardinals, ESPN is reporting. What a slut....

Maurice Jones-Drew Might Be High Right Now
The lilliputian running back tells Dan Patrick that he's better than most of the running backs in the league. Oh, and he's also training in Egypt, you know, running the pyramids. What a rapscallion. [DP]...

ESPN's Mel Kiper Page Links To Hilarious Profane Car Ad (Update)
This is likely to be removed soon, so hurry: When you click on Mel Kiper's page today, you don't get Mel's NFL draft take. Unless the Matt Stafford debate includes a profane car ad (NSFW)....

Entire State Of Maryland Roped Into Online Prank War
Remember the Yankee Stadium proposal prank where one goofball used a fake marriage proposal to humiliate his goofball friend? Well, 18 months later, revenge is a dish best served at a Maryland basketball game....

Congratulations, You Are No Longer On This Team
Did someone in the comments really call the NHL Trading Deadline "Hockey Christmas"? Well, someone—not me—feels this day needs to be live blogged, but let's try to keep it non-denominational. Enjoy. [Down Goes Brown]...

Soccer Fans Understand Priorities
• It's science: A totally reliable scientific survey reveals that European soccer fans prefer to see their lady wear their favorite team's kit instead of lingerie in the sack....

Cynthia Rodriguez Seems To Have Her Hands Full
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Lane Kiffin's Still Surrounded By Aura Of Wackiness
It appears one player was a little rattled by the Vols' recruiting techniques. Like, when a special teams coach ripped off his shirt "Superman style" to show how intense he was. [AJC]...

The Sad Demise Of John Odom, The Player Traded For Bats
Well, this has been a depressing day. John Odom, the minor leaguer who made news last year when he was traded for 10 maple bats, has died of an accidental overdose of drugs and alcohol....

The PapaJohns.com Bowl Doesn't Deliver To New Jersey
Rutgers University lost $184,000 by traveling to—and winning—the PapaJohns.com Bowl. But I'm sure the marching band had a lovely time in Birmingham. [Star-Ledger, via Bob's Blitz]...

Time Running Out For Missing Boaters (Update)
The search continues today for three football players who were still lost at sea, even as family members realize there is not much hope of finding them alive....
