in Page 3806 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Lawrence Taylor To Become Newest "That Guy From The Dancing Show"
LT to be the next awkward oversized athlete on "Dancing With The Stars." He should have no problem breaking his partner's leg. [Sports Hernia]...

Lindsey Vonn Wins Gold, Would Prefer Another Cow
American Lindsey Vonn won her first major ski gold medal today, but still pines for the days when she was paid for victories in livestock....

The Onion Sports Network Debuts
Tom Coughlin Retires From Family To Spend More Time With Team”Let’s steam things up.” [Onion Sports Network]...

Bob Costas Joins MLB Network, But "Costas Now" Is Gone Forever
After months of haggling, the upstart MLB Network (which is pretty excellent by the way) has finally inked him to a full-time deal, Darren Rovell reports....

Mickey Gets A Booth Review
Santonio Holmes visits Disney World. In exchange, Mickey Mouse will be cited and appear in a Pittsburgh court on possession of marijuana charges. [Orlando Sentinel]...

Super Bowl XLIV Odds Allow You To Get The Jump On Next Year's Gambling Losses
The Patriots—quarterback controversy!—are 8-1 favorites to win next year's Super Bowl. Dallas (yeah, that'll happen) is 9-1. Arizona? 30-1. Let it ride. [The Spread]...

On-Court Drowning Nearly The Most Exciting Highlight Of OKC Thunder Season
If you've even been to a live sporting event in North America, then you've probably seen some terrible halftime entertainment—but that's because so few halftimes involve a death-defying act that actually defies death....

Cal Bear Recruit Is Very Happy To Finally Leave New Jersey
Immaculata High School Mark Brazinski seems like a pretty awesome guy. Congratulations on joining the Pac-10. [NJ.com]...

What We've Got Here, Is A Complete Lack Of Respect For The Law
Hmm; one thing that kind of got lost in the shuffle about this Michael Phelps bong hit business ... smoking weed is still sort of illegal here. Especially in states like South Carolina....

Citi Field Naming Rights Is The Least Of The Mets Problems
The Wall Street Journal is reporting that beleaguered financial dinosaur Citigroup may be looking to get out its deal to purchase the naming rights to the New York Mets new stadium....

Washington Post Columnist Mines Deadspin Comments, Finds Comedy Gold
From Sally Jenkins' Washington Post column: "A wit named Gourmet Spud posted this sendup of his autobiography on Deadspin: "From Breaststrokes to Breasts-Tokes: How I Spent My Summer Olympics Vacation" by Michael Phelps." [Washington Post]...

CBS Desperate To Make PGA Tournaments More Interesting Until Tiger Comes Back
John Clayton was at the Super Bowl on Sunday, right? Then maybe it was a noisy leather chair. But it appears somebody on the CBS Golf crew ripped one during the FBR Open on Sunday....

Is That What You're Going To Wear?
• The stripes are not slimming: The worst hockey sweaters of all time. Did you know the Montreal Canadiens were originally a prison team? [Fan IQ]...

Kobe Scores Madison Square Garden-Record 61 Against, Um, Wait A Minute ...
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]....

That's Just Scott Boras Being Scott Boras
Manny Ramirez turns down Dodgers' offer of $25 million over one season, leaving the door open for ... the Washington Nationals? [The Nationals Enquirer]...

In Wisconsin, The Buzzsaw Defeats Truman
Well. At least the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel had supreme confidence in the Arizona Cardinals' defense....

Connecticut To Fully Come To Terms With The Concept Of Impermanence
UConn is the new No. 1 ranked team until they lose at Louisville tonight. [Yahoo, photo via]...

Preston Parker Is Not Lovin' It
Florida State wide receiver Preston Parker was kicked off the team today, following his arrest for DUI on Saturday when he was found asleep in a McDonalds drive-thru lane. [Slow Breaker]...

Jerks Deface Kay Yow Tribute
Pranks between rival colleges are always side-splittingly clever and witty (Goat stealing! Amazing!) but you know what's really funny? Cancer!...

Steeler Victory Parade Is Set ... No Guns, Knives, Nunchucks Please
Yeah, that Steelers victory parade that the city said it couldn't afford? It begins Tuesday at noon at Mellon Arena. [Business Times]...