in Page 3861 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

L.A. To Lakers: Throw Your Own Damn Parade
We all had lots of fun joking that Pittsburgh was a bankrupt urban hellscape, but at least the city could afford to throw its hockey team a victory parade. Los Angeles? They think they left their wallet in another state....

Great Moments In Gambling: Cleveland Seagulls Cost Man His House
Betting on a mid-June AL Central baseball game seems like a brilliant path to financial freedom, but believe it or not, there are dangers. Like a flock of birds attacking Coco Crisp and costing you a $38,000 payday....

Ohio State Fan Dots The "I" In Iranian Revolution
You've got to be kidding me. A young gentleman in Buckeye attire is now the poster child for freedom in Iran. Let's just hope the Revolutionary Guard doesn't recruit in Florida. [Photo: Oliver Laban-Mattei/AFP/Getty Images]...

Dead Solid Perfect, In 140 Words Or Less
The greatest sportswriter ever, Dan Jenkins his ownself, is tweeting the U.S. Open, his 200th major! Fast copy, indeed! "As my first boss, Blackie Sherrod, enjoyed saying, 'Stop feelin' up that story, and get the damn thing in here.'" [Twitter]...

Griffey Tickles Ichiro's Fancy, Armpits
Today, the Tacoma News Tribune takes a long look at the blossoming friendship between Ichiro and Ken Griffey Jr. Among the many touching revelations: Griffey will tickle Ichiro until he calls out what one might describe as a safe word....

Well, Artie Lange Has One Fan In The Sports Media That Still Loves Him
Linda Cohn lets the anti-Buck, Long Islanduh side show. I wonder if she was also a fan of the "Butt Bongo Fiesta" videos? [Cohnheadfans]...

Would You Like To Buy A Car From Ed O'Bannon?
This is an interesting Sunday profile of former UCLA star Ed O'Bannon. Interesting, because you could probably substitute "Ed O'Bannon" for the name of any athlete coming to terms with his fading glory and it's pretty much the same article....

How The Cardinals Could Lose Albert Pujols
I'm not sure people realize how possible it is that Albert Pujols won't be a Cardinal in three years. And every day, every loss, every solo Pujols homer, makes it a little more likely to happen....

Detroit Just Can't Catch A Break
A Game 7 loss, a series dropped to the Pirates, now Bill Laimbeer—the greatest coach in WNBA history!—is stepping down. He will be replaced by Rick Mahorn, who will eventually be replaced by Chuck Nevitt. [Free Press]...

ESPN Attempts To Spike College World Series Ratings With Sideline Princess Fanny-Cam
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Cocaine, Bunny Rape And Lyndon LaRouche: A Children's Treasury Of Tall Tales From Pro Wrestling
Here's your reading material for tonight: "The Urban Legends of Professional Wrestling!" — all 460 of them. If you thought pro wrestling was a wholesome endeavor whose practitioners did not enjoy stuffing the Medellín Cartel up their nostrils, think again....

Hockey Insanely Popular (For Just One Night)
Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals was the most-watched NHL game in 36 years. So maybe when the league starts up again in four months, some of those people 8 million people will remember it exists! [LiveFeed]...

College Baseball Fans Not Used To Being On TV
Mike Irwin of KFSM in Fayetteville would just like to talk about Arkansas baseball, but some slack-jawed SEC fans just can't resist a chance to be on the teevee. Get your hands off him, you damn dirty apes!...

Florida Gators' Go-To Lawyer Has Some Issues Of His Own
The Orlando Sentinel, still tub-thumping about those miscreant Gators, has profiled attorney Huntley Johnson, who often handles the players' legal run-ins. What the paper doesn't mention: Johnson once suggested that his secretary "get down" on his "hog" and "honk it."...

Nebraska Wrestling Fiasco Makes Everyone Look Like Di... Jerks
"Outside The Lines" took a closer look at Nebraska's wrestling program (spoiler: it's corrupt) after last year's uncomfortable gay porn scandal, and somehow everyone involved ends up looking like the bad guy. Go figure!...

Brandon Jennings Is Just Being Real About Ricky Rubio (Updated)
Who does Ricky Rubio think he is? The best point guard in the NBA Draft? A Spaniard? Spare me, says Brandon Jennings, who can't even front when it comes to hating on his European brethren....

Michael Phelps' Life Is A Whimsical Morality Tale
Michael Phelps has "written" a children's book called How to Train with a T. Rex and Win 8 Gold Medals. Life lessons include strip club tipping etiquette and when to check-raise on Jacks or better before the flop. [Canadian Press]...

With The 58th Pick, The Boston Celtics Might Select The Globe
The Red Sox and Bruins own NESN. The New York Times, at least for now, controls a minority stake of the Red Sox. And soon, the Celtics might join the incest between Boston teams and the outlets that cover them....

Phil Jackson: Greatest Coach Ever or Luckiest Schlub Of All Time?
Phil Jackson now has more NBA titles than any coach in NBA history—so he's the best coach in NBA history, right? Or could a diaper-wearing monkey win six titles with Michael Jordan on his team? Fight!...

Everybody Pile On D.J. Mbenga
First, Rudy Gay called him "ugly", then Reggie Miller revealed on the Dan Patrick show his text to Barkley after Lakers victory: "can you believe that DJ Mbenga and Adam Morrison have rings?"...