in Page 3892 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

If Someone Hit For The Cycle And Nobody Saw It, Did It Make A Sound?
Only 17,539 were on hand in Arlington Stadium to witness Ian Kinsler become the fourth Texas Ranger to hit for the cycle in a 19-6 win over the Orioles. [NBCSports]...

Someone Thinks That East Carolina Should Update Its Logo
The hunt is on for the rapscallion responsible for this: An update of East Carolina University's pirate logo. Yes, it may be time for all pirate-themed teams to turn in their swash, and their buckle....

Celtics Will Most Likely Be Garnett-less During Playoffs, Coach Says
Doc Rivers has Beantown in a panic after he hinted that Kevin Garnett's mangled knee will most likely keep him out of the playoffs. "I'm not optimistic," Rivers told WEEI....

America's Green Room Princess
The stars continue to magnificently align for Erin Andrews, as the ESPN mother ship has officially anointed her worthy of interviewing muscular young men in tailored suits and shiny team logo'd hats....

Goat's Head Spook
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap More...

Name Of The Year Competition Enters Final Four
Murray State golf coach Velvet Milkman, the No. 8 seed, has somehow upset heavily-favored Uranus Golden and Juvyline Cubangbang to come within two steps of ultimate NOTY glory. [Name Of The Year]...

Cowboys Win First 2009 Road Skirmish
As if Native Americans haven't suffered enough abuse at the hands of the white man, now this: A Cowboys fan knocked out a Redskins fan with one punch in a car antenna flag dispute....

Isiah Thomas Promises No More Sex Harassing, Suicide Attempts, Personal Salaries
In the latest installment of the Isiah Thomas career makeover, our hero magnanimously told the assembled press corps that his first year's salary as coach of FIU will be given back to the school....

Enjoy A Free Veggie Burger With John Salley
Former NBA player John Salley is giving out free veggie burgers today at Chicago's Soul Vegetarian East restaurant, although I called over there and no one seems to know anything about it. [The PETA Files]...

The New Milton Bradley Is Cool, Calm And Collected
Milton Bradley says he's ready for any abuse that Cubs fans can dish out. That's because he's a new man; all that childish stuff is in the distant past. Ha ha, but anyway ......

AJ’s Deadspin Polygraph Test And Magic Panda Bears
We were scheduled to have a special guest from ESPN on this Deadcast, but they had to cancel. Which is good, because it allowed me to further indulge my passion for talking about elevator pissing....

Book Excerpts That Don't Suck: "The Big One"
Who knew a book about a fishing tournament could be so damn compelling? Journalist David Kinney goes inside Martha's Vineyard's annual Striped Bass and Bluefish Derby with his book, "The Big One"....

Scorned Cheerleaders Rat Out Heroic Playboy Model
It's the story you've heard a million times before: Girls cut from cheerleading squad get revenge on coach by exposing her Playboy modeling activities to school, thus getting her fired....

And Everything Was Going So Well For The Cardinals
The return of Chris Carpenter to the Cardinals' rotation was a brief one. DL likely. [St. Louis Post-Dispatch]...

You Know When The Homemade Kenny Powers Jersey Looks Cool? When You're Getting Arrested
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap More...

Famous Guy To Become Slightly Less Famous
Oscar De La Hoya "retired" today, which is what boxers do while they wait for someone to offer them $20 million for their once-in-a-lifetime comeback payday. He will be missed?...

Isiah Thomas Is Florida International's Problem Now
Florida International stinks at basketball, so I guess they figured—if we're going to stink we might as well leave a spectacular stench all over the basketball world. That's the only explanation for hiring Isiah Thomas....

Yep. That's Bruce Pearl Rapping With No Shirt On
The UT athletic department held their third annual VOLSCARS ceremony that I think is supposed to be a play on "Oscars" (as in Academy Awards) but it just reads as "Vol Scars," which is disgusting. Anyway, it's some sort of school-wide ESPY awards and this year's "entertainment" featured head basketb...