in Page 3923 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Alexander Ovechkin Doesn't Need Your Fancy Skates
• Go team!: So you're saying it's not a good idea to pull major league pitchers out of spring training to pretend they care about their country for a couple weeks? Who could have seen that coming?[I'm Writing Sports]...

He's Six? OK, I'm Impressed
Here's Madin Mohammed, an Algerian-born six-year-old who was given a scholarship by the French Football Federation, and is being called the "new Zidane." He has stated that he won't play for the LA Galaxy. [Fandome]...

Meet A-Rod's Cousin's Trainer
Everyone is dying to know more about this mysterious "cousin" that Alex Rodriguez refused to identify, and it turns out the cousin is not imaginary! He's been identified...and now begins the hunt....

Bobcats Overcome Confusing Sign To Beat Pacers
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Griffey Picks Seattle Over Atlanta ... Hard to Picture, I Know
Ken Griffey Jr. returns to the cold, wet embrace of the Emerald City, signing one-year deal reported to be for at least $2 million, plus incentives, according to AP. [NBCSports]...

Jeanine Edwards Realized Her Heart Will Go On Without Billy Gillispie
"After a couple of frosty halftime interviews with Kentucky Coach Billy Gillispie, ESPN sideline reporter Jeannine Edwards declined a third opportunity Tuesday night.'I cut my losses,' said Edwards." [Tennesseean.com] (via SBB)...

Cole Hamels Should Really Not Let His Wife Speak In Public
The Philadelphia Phillies' ace and his wife, former"Survivor" temptress, Heidi Strobel, have decided to use their good fortune and popularity to add the latest Hollywood accessory to their young family: AIDS orphans....

Nationals' Prize Prospect Is At That Awkward Age
Remember when the Washington Nationals' biggest problem was the Pope commandeering Ronnie Belliard's cubicle? Now they discover that their top young prospect has been lying about his name and his age....

High School Basketball Team's Season Canceled Over Pee-Soaked Locker Room Incident
An Illinois high school basketball team has had their season canceled after its players allegedly urinated all over the visiting locker room at another school. CSI: DeKalb!...

Carlos Beltran Responds To Cole Hamels' "Choke Artist" Comment
"The only thing that I know is he will be watched every time he faces us. Hopefully we kill him, and then he'll have to deal with the situation." [NYDN]...

It's Official: Baseball Is Worse Than Professional Wrestling
Well, that's if you listen to former Minnesota Governor and feather-boa'd wrestler, Jesse "The Body" Ventura, who wondered why the Feds aren't going after Bud Selig like they did Vince McMahon....

'Hot Girls In Scary Places' To Change TV As We Know It
Other so-called advancements in civilization — Archimedes' foundations of hydrostatics, Einstein splitting the atom — pale in comparison to this: E! Entertainment has a new TV show in which USC Song Girls investigate paranormal activity....

Sorry, BlueClaws' 'Kids Eat Free' Promotion Does Not Include Beer
What minor league baseball team dares to feed your kids for free at every 2009 home game? The Lakewood BlueClaws. Take that, stupid economy....

Mike Singletary Even Spells Crazy
Mike Singletary says he wants the 49ers to be "physical ... with an F." I don't even know what that means, but he's officially my new favorite coach. [SF Gate]...

Mascots Play H-O-R-S-E Differently Than You And I
• I'll just take the H: From half court, back to the basket, over the head, off the mascot's crotch, no rim. Perfect. [YouTube]...

Unfortunate Ad Placement: Alex Rodriguez Edition
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Nobody Came Out Of This A-Rod Mess Unscathed
Even poor Hannah Storm was forced to leave the cozy confines of the Bristol offices and ship her foxy ass down to Tampa to offer outdoor color. I thought she was above sidelining?...

Guilty Your Honor, With An Explanation
There are two things I wish. First, that Indiana wasn't 1-11 in the Big Ten. And second, that Daulerio hadn't taped porn over the first 18 minutes of this instructional video....

Yeah, I Guess Somebody Had To Use This Headline
Deuce McAllister cut from Saints; Fox Sports headline writers finally get a chance to be 12-year-olds again. [Fox Sports]...

A Michael Vick Defender Anonymously Steps Forward To Offer Perspective
Michael Vick may return to the NFL for the 2009-10 season and The Modern Spectator offers one of the more entertainingly honest takes on this reality. Especially if you value human life over pets....