in Page 3955 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Rory Sabbatini And Roo
Rick linked to this yesterday, but I don't care. Video of a masturbating kangaroo interrupting play at the Australian PGA Championship last week is exactly the type of "sports news without discretion" you come here for. Well, that, and Nightmare Ant....

About Last Night
What you missed while sitting in a giant inflatable snow globe ... • College Football. Appalachian St. becomes Div. I-AA's first three-peat champs. • NBA. Rip City re-rising; Blazers win sixth straight 99-91 over Utah. • NHL. Bloody Alexei Ponikarovsky scores two; Leafs thrash Atlanta 4-0. (And yes,...

Pity Poor Roger Clemens
• We remind you to keep the submissions coming for the ESPN Accountability Record. • How long is 23 months in dog years? • That bitchin' ESPN holiday party. • An outstanding Jamboroo that you might have missed in all the Mitchell Report business. • Oh, yes: That. • We hate "guarantees." • Rick Reill...

Eric Mangini's 115th Dream
Eric Mangini is not inherently a likable character. He's schlubby, he's obsessive and he always looks exhausted. He was on "The Sopranos;" that's about all we can come up with, positively. But everyone will be rooting for him Sunday....

Inmate Sues Schrutebag For "Ear Poisoning"
We know we said that we weren't gonna mention the Schrutebag anymore. But we're afraid circumstances today make it impossible to avoid. We apologize....

We're Finished!
Are you an angry man? Are you envious? Do you get envious? We have a competition in us; we want no one else to succeed. We hate most people. There are times when we look at people and we see nothing worth liking. We've built up our hatreds over the years little by little. We see the worst in people....

Hey Kids! It's The Deadspin Crossword Puzzle!
If you know this site, then you know that we're all about puzzles. And what better way to shake off the Mitchell Report Blues than to tackle a crossword? Yes, it's the first Deadspin Crossword Puzzle, and it appears after the jump. And the great part is that you helped create it. All of those Deadsp...

Year In Review: April
You might remember, toward the end of last year, when we reviewed each month of the past year leading up to New Years Day. We called it, imaginatively, "Year In Review." We continue today with April. We're digging through our archives pretty well, but if you think we should definitely feature someth...

Could This Be, At Long Last, The World's Funniest Name?
Just when this Mitchell Report business had about pummeled us senseless, one brave man marched forward to bring forth laughter once again. And he didn't have to say a word. Sorry, Kosuke Fukudome ... but this guy's name has got you beat. In fact, this just may be the best name ever. Say it with me, ...

The Wizards Can't Feel Their Faces
The NBA Closer is written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or eating slow-smoked ribs and beef briskets, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Enjoy!...

MLB Doctor: Steroids Are Good For You!
So you don't have to sift through the whole document, we're gonna call out some key pages....

Mmmm, It's A Boatload Of Goodness
Who can make the sun rise? Sprinkle it with dew? Fred Smoot can, that's who! How could an energy bar endorsed by the former Vikings sex boat participant — and produced by a company named 3Way Enterprises — not be a major success? Introducing the Smack Energy Bar!...

Miguel Tejada Is Now Houston's Problem
So you don't have to sift through the whole document, we're gonna call out some key pages....

Brian Sabean Knows, Sees, Tells Nothing
So you don't have to sift through the whole document, we're gonna call out some key pages....

Lawyer Milloy Is A Demon With The Red Pen
New Arkansas coach Bobby Petrino wrote this nice little letter to his team after bolting on them in the middle of the season. (Wisely, but still.) Falcons cornerback Lawyer Milloy was eager to add his own addendum....

The Rick Ankiel Section
So you don't have to sift through the whole document, we're gonna call out some key pages....

Roger Clemens Gets An Ass Shot
So you don't have to sift through the whole document, we're gonna call out some key pages....

Year In Review: March
You might remember, toward the end of last year, when we reviewed each month of the past year leading up to New Years Day. We called it, imaginatively, "Year In Review." We continue today with March. We're digging through our archives pretty well, but if you think we should definitely feature someth...

MLBPA Tells Players Not To Cooperate
So you don't have to sift through the whole document, we're gonna call out some key pages....