in Page 3959 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
About Last Night ...
What you missed while stockpiling saving throws vs. cold for the upcoming snowstorms... • NCAA Football: Clusterfuckery reigns supreme as Missouri, West Virginia lose. • NCAA Basketball: Gonzaga beats Connecticut, returns back home to wherever the hell they're located. • Tennis: Well, looky, the Uni...
Mizzou vs. Oklahoma - Disrespect For Everyone
Gary Pinkel has a big challenge tonight as he — wait, is Les Miles coaching Missouri now? No? He's still at LSU? Okay, carry on — coaches his top-ranked underdog Missouri Tigers against Oklahoma. It's a difficult decision, really, to pick one team over another. One can easily make a convincing case ...
Fun With Knicks' Math
• R.I.P., Sean Taylor. • Enough, Eli, enough. • We miss Saturday NFL too. • Pau Gasol poops. • The Daily Illini rules. • The Patriots could possibly lose. Possibly. • The Bob Knight Gun Show • God, we love Canada. • Bill Conlin would like you to get off his lawn. • Covering the Knicks is miserable. ...
The Last Weekend For This College Football Business
Some might say there's no legitimate national champion this year, but that seems beside the point: We play sports to crown a champion, and if no one necessarily deserves it, what's wrong with that? It's nice to have a winner....
Where'd You Hide The Alcohol, Danny Ocean?
It's like a three thing... it's, like, ball, dick, ball. It's like a division sign... we just wish you would take those off....
Dissecting Captain Crazy
Watching the Knicks these days is a brutal, glorious experience; last night's loss to the Celtics was the nadir in a season full of them. And the centerpiece of the madness is, of course, Stephon Marbury, the Tracy Jordan of the NBA. He's mesmerizing; we can't look away....
Detroit Wants You To Burn Stuff In Honor Of Student-Athletes
This is the logo for 2009 Final Four in Detroit: It's a tire that's on fire. Flaming tires! Billy Packer! What's not to love?...
When Ya Gotta Go ...
Sometimes, the call of nature is so powerful that it cannot be overcome. We know. We've been there. You might be in an inconvenient location, but whaddya gonna do? Just ask Kansas State forward Bill Walker....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you decorate your drunken Christmas moose ... • College football: Rutgers at Louisville. You've got some red on you. [ESPN] • College basketball: Oregon at Kansas State [ESPN2]; Oklahoma at Southern California [FSN]. West Coast meets Midwest in classic culture clash. • College women...
The NL's Best Pitchers Hunt And Hit College Bars Together
When we were the sports editor at the Daily Illini, Illinois head coach Lou Henson and his wife Mary invited us into their home, and we drank hot tea and ate chocolate on their porch while we discussed Jerry Hester, Kiwane Garris and next year's team. We are realizing today that we were sports edi...
Has Kornheiser Already Had Enough Of This MNF Business?
After all the battling ESPN and Norby! have done to make sure Tony Kornheiser is as comfortable in the "Monday Night Football" booth as possible — which is to say, "not very comfortable" — we can't imagine the Bristol folks are doing backflips over the rumors from DC this morning that say Kornheiser...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured it's message boards this morning for its wittiest, hardest-hitting, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
At Least The Big Ten Won Three, Anyway
Yes, we know we're the only people who care about the Big Ten/ACC Challenge, but indulge us: It's difficult to find any kind of sustained series between two supposedly competitive leagues that involves such repeated dominance....
A Trade That's Just Crazy Enough To Work!
The baseball winter meetings start next week, and that means countless unsubstantiated guesswork and fantasy trade scenarios. That's the fun of it, really; it will distract you from the horror that comes when your team gives $12 million for four years to Kyle Lohse....
The Winter Olympic Mascots Are ... Yeaagh! What The Hell? ...
Inspired by Native American tales of creatures that will claw children's eyes out if they don't behave, please welcome the new Winter Olympic mascots, Quatchi, Miga and Sumi! The Games are a mere 2 1/2 years from now, so these charming critters need to get right to work, doing, um, whatever it is th...
Emmitt Smith Is A Man Of Letters
We never thought we would ever be saying this, but after watching almost a full season of Emmitt Smith on ESPN ... we kind of miss Michael Irvin. We know. We're so ashamed....