in Page 3963 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Did you know that Hugh V was the Duke of Burgundy? Well maybe if you'd gone to Duke you would have. In other news, Duke fans are actually going to be pissed if they lose to Notre Dame today. Wait, does Duke have football fans? Are you one of them and would you care to comment? Well here's your chanc...
Dennis Dixon Has Balls of Uranium
So it's official, Dennis Dixon tore his ACL ... two weeks ago. So that first quarter touchdown run on Thursday night just went from awesome to unbefuckinglievable....
If It's November, It Must Be SHOTY Time
• Welcome, 2007 SHOTY! • See Digger Phelps act. • A fun week for Aubrey Huff. • Look, the book has a cover! • Stephon Marbury fever. Catch it. • The Lambeau ... ow! • I - L - L! • Welcome "back," A-Rod. • Marching bands are cool. Really. • Down goes Oregon. • Barry. Barry. Barry....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch when not even Subserviant Chicken will obey your requests ... • College football: Hawaii at Nevada. Honolulu and Reno ... practically identical in every way. [ESPN2] • College basketball: 2K Sports College Hoops Classic, at New York, third-place game; Championship game (Memphis vs. UCo...
Everybody Keep Piling On Notre Dame!
As we come to the final death spasms of the glory/hideousness of the Notre Dame season, we stop to do a brief dance on the Irish grave. How bad has it become? Freaking Duke thinks it has a chance to win in South Bend this weekend....
What Group of People Will Phil Jackson Offend Next?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....
Mom And Me Versus You And Dad
She's a very risky writer, Lili. Very racy. Exhibiting her c—t in that fashion is very racy. We mean, Lili has her influences in post modern literature, it's a bit derivative of Kafka, but for a student, very racy. Did you get that it was her c—t?...
This Is Pretty Much Why God Invented Sports Bars, We Reckon
We don't know what hell like, or who exactly is there (aside from all the sports agents). But here's a pretty good guess: There's nonstop karaoke, the only beverage is Tabasco sauce and at the top of the hour everyone gets hit in the face with a custard pie. That sounds about right. But at a sports ...
It Was Never About Barry, And Of Course It Always Was
The key point to remember in the Barry Bonds indictment that went down yesterday afternoon is that we really don't have any new information. Whatever your thoughts on Bonds, it's clear that the government is out to get him. You might think he deserves it. He probably does. But there is no smoking gu...
Hockey Fight! (Kinda)
It's the NHL Closer. We pass the mic to the kids at Orland Kurtenblog. Their NHL Closer is written by Canadians for Americans....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as your favorite t-shirt commits suicide in the dryer ... • College football: Oregon at Arizona. Ducks march toward a royal screwing when they hand out the bowl bids. [ESPN] • College basketball: 2K Sports College Hoops Classic, semifinals, at New York, Connecticut vs. Gardner-Webb; Me...
Barry Bonds, Consider Yourself Indicted
Well, just when you thought it was safe to bid on a guy who injected cattle steroids: Barry Bonds has been indicted by the BALCO grand jury....
How Hillary Is Like Grandmama
There's another one of those presidential debates tonight — this one's the Democrats, their 592th — and as that race starts to veer toward the more interesting, MSNBC brings up a fun parallel: The candidates are just like early '90s basketball teams....
"Dear Furry Guy ... I Am Sorry I Hit You"
We've already played with "Who's Sorry Now" earlier this morning, but we couldn't help but point out this particularly bit of humiliation: A college hockey player has to write a letter of apology to a mascot....
SHOTY First Round: Brady Quinn Vs. Alex Rodriguez
The first matchup, on Tuesday, was a blowout. We suspect this one will be a little closer....
Early 2000s Kings Get Their "Wacky Pose"
Remember how, when you were in Little League, right after you did the "serious" team photo, you got to do a "wacky" one? We used to put our hat backwards and pull up one pantleg. We were pretty freaking hilarious when we were 10. Anyway, the 2002 Kings apparently pulled a similar stunt....
The Fish That Could Be An Offensive Lineman
We consider fishing a sport, though we're not sure why; we're generally pleased to classify pretty much anything a sport, because everything's better when it's competitive. So, therefore, a terrifyingly huge freaking fish....
About Last Night
What you missed while cooking up a batch of delicious Jesuscakes ... • NBA: Dwyane Wade is back ... just in time to watch Miami lose to Seattle at home. Sonics 104, Heat 95. • College basketball: This would have been a great upset. Oh well. North Carolina 72, Davidson 68. • NHL: No 500th win for you...
Hmm, Who Would Win A Fight Between Herschel And Spurrier?
There's not much more ironically amusing than Steve Spurrier lecturing someone else on sportsmanship, but he's been going after Georgia recently for their big touchdown-pile-on a few weeks ago. He said he'd have sent in a third-string Gamecock to start a fight, therefore getting a bunch of Bulldogs ...