in Page 4006 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
May-Treanor, Walsh Grab Gold, China Grabs Something Else
She's already got Dubya's handprints all over her ass, so Kerri Walsh hardly notices this, one would assume. Walsh and Misty May-Treanor brought home the gold for the good ol' USA once again, beating the People's Republic of Cop-A-Feel 2-0 (21-18, 21-18) early Thursday morning in Women's Parking Lot...
Jimmy Rollins: 'In Philly, Can't Be No Punk'
Jimmy Rollins' love affair with the city of Philadelphia continues. Last week he called out Phils fans on Best Damn Sports Show Period, decrying their notorious negativity and calling them "front-runners." That caused a Philadelphia blogger to organize an Internet campaign to try and get fans to che...
Morning Blogdome: Celebrating The Return Of Chris Henry
• When complaining on the message boards isn't enough: The fans of the Cincinnati Bengals have spoken...with signage. This billboard was spotted just off of I-75, perhaps so Henry could see it himself as he drives away by in a stolen/borrowed rental car. [The Sporting Blog] • Maybe If you spent less...
Peter King Shovels Popcorn, Erin Andrews Holds A Fish Head And Beach Volleyball Gold For The U.S.
Each weekday morning Awful Announcing, video slash and grab extraordinaire of the sports blogosphere, gives us a visual rundown of everything you missed from the night before. If there's something sports-related you'd like to see with your coffee, shoot him an e-mail and let him know....
How Will 8 Gold Medals Help Michael Phelps' Prodigious Coozing?
Throughout the Olympics, there have been many variations on the email like the one below regarding America's trophy-headed swim king, Michael Phelps: "went to michigan the same time as michael phelps and stories of his douchiness towards girls seem to pop up with any mention of his name. apparently ...
No White Person Has Ever Broken 10 Seconds in the 100 Meters
I thought 2008 would be our year. I really did. After all, if a black man can be elected President (hopefully), then a white person could break 10 seconds, right? But the 100 meters came and went and once more the fastest white man in the history of the universe remains some guy named Marian Woroni...
Taking Bite Out Of Glorious Nation Of Kazakhstan
So when did Olympic boxing become a Three Stooges short? Dzhakhon Kurbanov, a light heavyweight from Tajikistan, was disqualified for biting opponent Yerkebulan Shynaliyevon of Kazakhstan on the shoulder in a quarterfinal bout, but won't face further sanctions from the International Boxing Associati...
Jacko Turns 50, Hockey Night, And The Political Incorrectness Of Midget Wrestling
And so we come to the close of another Minor League Baseball season. And what a season it's been: We watched babies enjoying beer, were introduced to the magical wonders of Wizard Cat, and thrilled to the antics of a giant, dancing taco. The Macon Music announced with great fanfare, and then cancell...
Deadspin HOF Nominee: Erin Andrews
If you're ever bored — or if you're, you know, anything else — I encourage you to check out Deadspin's Erin Andrews archive. The reason sports blogs write so much about Erin Andrews is because there is demand. Put Erin Andrews in a post, and whammo: Instant hit. Just reacting to the market, people ...
Tiger Woods Is Jesus
At least according to a new EA Sports commercial for his video game where El Tigre walks on water—into a pond— and plays his ball from a lilly pad. The most amazing thing about this commercial is not necessarily that it was made but that EA is now watching YouTube clips and responding to people who...
Usain Bolt Is The Fastest Man Alive. Your Move, Lindsay Lohan
So is there room in the same Olympics for both the best swimmer and best sprinter of all time? Jamaica's Usain Bolt showed what he can do when he decides to run the entire distance, grabbing his his second world record and his second Olympic gold medal, winning the 200-meters in 19.30 seconds to bre...
Deadspin HOF Nominee: Kige Ramsey
Whatever your thoughts on his candidacy for the Deadspin Hall of Fame — and I'm fully aware that our comment ombudsman loses his mind every time Kige comes up — you have to admire that, along among all SHOTY and H of F nominees, only Kige has openly lobbied for induction. It's warms my heart every ...
Morning Blogdome: Ah, Red Sox Fans
• You're not a real fan until you paint your nipples bright red: Just imagine if the Red Sox were still in first place. [Bugs and Cranks] • The Broncos' souvenir shop needs to restock: "Here were the choices for Denver Broncos fans who wanted to buy a jersey at a fifth-level souvenir shop at Invesco...
Introducing The Smart Look For Back To School
Notice to any women who are hoping for hot multiple gold medal sex with a certain big-eared swimmer in the coming weeks; Michael Phelps' sperm are not to be trifled with. As this T-shirt by The Hotness Factory clearly illustrates, his boys can swim; they are pretty much the Navy Seals of spermatozoa...
British Gold Medalist Gets Plastered, Rolls Over a Taxi Bonnet in Celebration
Bradley Wiggins, a double gold medalist in cycling, is the culprit. It's things like this that make people mistakenly believe the British can't handle their alcohol. Or have drinking problems. Wiggins was out celebrating in London House—which is evidently an area of Beijing designed to honor the 20...
Amanda Beard Does Not Want To See What's Inside Michael Phelps' Speedos
Just days after finding out Lindsay Lohan and apparently half the European runway model population would like to possibly make him their boyfriend, Michael Phelps earned a little lesson in humility this week thanks to oft-nude swimmer Amanda Beard. Beard, appearing on a radio show based in Phoneix, ...
Reds Management Would Like To Apologize For All The Sucking
In an odd move even for them, the Cincinnati Reds front office has written an open letter to fans to apologize for being in last place. Of course, CEO Bob Castellini and GM Walt Jocketty don't admit to any wrongdoing — there were injuries! And the weather has been generally bad! — but they don't wan...
BJ Upton Hustles But Somehow Starts A New Controversy, Kite Fighting And Don't Fall Asleep At The LLWS
Each weekday morning Awful Announcing, video slash and grab extraordinaire of the sports blogosphere, gives us a visual rundown of everything you missed from the night before. If there's something sports-related you'd like to see with your coffee, shoot him an e-mail and let him know....
Deadspin HOF Nominee: Marques Slocum's F—k Lion
Because we all really must be reminded of the genius that is the Fuck Lion, allow me to, once again, give the exact quote from Marques Slocum's brilliant Facebook page self-interrogation. ...
Mike Timlin Will Take Care Of Your Ballpark Rat Problem
As long as Red Sox pitcher Mike Timlin is alive, Heidi Watney will never go hungry. Hope you enjoy squirrel, Heidi. You mean to say that hawk was a lovable team mascot? Sorry, my bad. Now, watch me shoot an apple off of a teammate's head. Damn it, hold still Youkilis! From Timlin's bio: ...