in Page 4017 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Bonds Brings Us Down, But Ankiel Lifts Us Up
• All the EPL you can handle. Remember to meet Mr. Hirshey this weekend for EPL opening weekend. • Bonds hit his damn homer already. • Rick Reilly ... shirtless! • It's always fun when Irish pick up prostitutes. • Remember to join the Deadspin Pants Party College Pick 'Em Pool. • Duck! Jay Mohr's ba...



He's A LumberJax And He's OK
Now you, too, can have a career in professional lacrosse. Just marry the owner! It's easy, and will result in absolutely no ribbing in the team locker room for years to come....

Red, It Took Us 16 Years To Get Here. You Play Us, And I'll Give Ya The Best We Got.
You're better than any player we ever had. And you're the best God damn hitter we ever saw. Suit up....

For One Magical Evening, The Great Potato Caper Lives Again
Time once again to root around in the world of minor league baseball with Rick Chandler's Minor Enterprise!...

The OTHER Cardinals Story From Yesterday
Say what you will about the Cardinals, but they know how to handle PR. Postseason stud and cult hero needs to go to rehab for substance abuse? Hey, bring up Ankiel! A happy story to drown out the ugly one. And it absolutely worked....

Will They Make It Rain On Pac Man's Face?
Weirdest thing, though, is that the promotional angle has pushed over into the real world; the man who was paralyzed in the famous Make It Rain strip club shooting is a former professional wrestler, and some guys are threatening to really hurt Pac Man....

One Glorious Night At Busch
We're gonna get this out of the way first thing, so we can all move on with our days, OK? Thank you. So, Rick Ankiel....

Roy Hobbs Returns
We got into St. Louis just in time for Rick's homer. We were there for it. So yeah: It's been a pretty fun night. More tomorrow....

The Mariners Like 'Em Big
Ever wanted a six-foot doll of Raul Ibanez? Well, boy howdy, this could be your lucky day. As long as you have four figures to spend....

How To Make Golf More Fun
If you know anything about me, then you know that I have traditionally refused to do posts about streakers ... unless there is a humorous slogan written above their butt. This is a pretty good one (we also would have accepted "Captain's Choice"), and he also earns points for covering his genitals wi...

The MLS Is Expanding, With Or Without Beckham
David Beckham — or "Becks," as apparently people call him, though we've never actually met one of these people — could make his MLS debut tonight, maybe, for a few minutes, depending on whether or not he's feeling up to it. But no matter what's going on with Beckham, the league itself is moving forw...

Ankiel Gets The Call
He is the The Natural, he is Young Musial, he is the alpha, the omega, the beginning, the end. And, as of today, he is a member of the St. Louis Cardinals. Sources tell us that an announcement that Rick Ankiel has been called up to the big leagues is scheduled for later this afternoon/weekend....

Violation At The Bottom Of The Pile
In case you missed your weekly glance at the CFL transactions wire, Edmonton Eskimos linebacker A.J. Gass was suspended for one game after he threw an opponent's helmet across the field. (Mercifully, his head wasn't in it.)...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while reading the Iliad, and skipping the Odyssey ... • MLB: Cubs urge everyone not to panic; the helicopters will be here soon to evacuate the women and children. • Tennis: Nikolay Davydenko wins opener at Rogers Cup in a match that certainly was not fixed by organized crime. • WNBA...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as tiny woodland creatures help with the housework ... • Boxing: Joe "Not Especially Mean" Green vs. Darryl "Fish Face" Salmon, for the NABA middleweight title, at Hollywood, Fla. [ESPN2] • MLB: Atlanta at New York Mets [ESPN]; Chicago Cubs at Houston. Why must you tease your fans so, ...

Three Great Tastes That ... You Know, We're Gonna Stop There
We meant to post this yesterday but didn't get around to it. David Beckham visited the Yankees locker room on Monday; he was one of the she-male, muscular types A-Rod usually hangs with while in Toronto. For some reason — and we can't put our finger on why — but these pictures oddly remind us of th...