in Page 4023 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The End Of July Ain't What It Used To Be
As much as we might try, we can't muster up much enthusiasm for the trading deadline this year, which is in week. No matter scenarios they give us, we just don't believe anyone too huge will end up switching teams. The days of the Mark McGwire, Mike Piazza trades seem over. (Not that we ever conside...

NFL Season Preview: Cincinnati Bengals
Believe it or not, folks, the NFL season is much closer than you can possibly imagine. So close, in fact, that, if we're going to fit in every NFL team preview by the start of the season, running one every weekday, we have to start this week. So there you have it....

Selig Won't Watch, But We'll Have To
Well, if that whole Barry Bonds Won't Play On ESPN thing turns out to be based in reality, we're all in luck; Bonds is never going to break Hank Aaron's record. Because everyone of his at-bats is gonna be on The Worldwide Leader until, well, until he breaks it, or dies. So, you know, enjoy....

NFL Season Preview: Minnesota Vikings
Believe it or not, folks, the NFL season is much closer than you can possibly imagine. So close, in fact, that, if we're going to fit in every NFL team preview by the start of the season, running one every weekday, we have to start today. So there you have it....

Wait, So Whose Diapers Is He Changing Then?
We might remember, back in August 2006, that we were somewhat skeptical that the family of Brynn Cameron — the former USC women's basketball player who had Buzzsaw quarterback Matt Leinart's baby — were completely pleased with the whole arrangement. Within a month of this pregnancy announcement, Lei...

No Bonds For You!
As you may have noticed, Barry Bonds is being held out of the final game of San Francisco's series at Milwaukee (in progress). So it looks like he won't be making any progress towards Henry Aaron's prized record on my watch. Oh well, I'll just have to keep staring at my Arizona State throwback jerse...

I knew well in advance that I'd come out of the Winky Wright/Bernard Hopkins fight frustrated, confuse, and unfulfilled like Katie Holmes' first romantic encounter with Tom Cruise. Truthfully I can't even bring myself to write up my thoughts on the fight, besides, I feel as if I've already inundated...

Who Needs Demetrius When You Have Katsidis?!
Damn, I really hope all of those sportswriters penning their "Boxing Is Dead" stories forked over the money last night. They certainly would have gotten their money's worth in addition to a pleasant relevation. No, Demetrius Hopkins' fight was not televised, and I was a bit pissed. That feeling disa...

Why Go Outside When You Can Watch People Going Outside On Television?
• Now — Golf: The Open Championship [ABC] • 1:00 — Movie: Van Wilder [Comedy Central] • 1:30 — Motor Sports: Indy Racing Series Honda 200 at the Mid-Ohio Sports Car Course [ABC] • 2:00 — MLB: Chicago White Sox at Boston Red Sox [WGN] • 2:00 — Volleyball: AVP Long Beach Open men's final [NBC] • 4:00 ...

The Night Time Is The Right Time
It's been confirmed that David Beckham will not start tonight in his debut with the LA Galaxy, however he has indicated that he will suit up and play. The questions remaining are at what point will he enter the game, and how long will his tender pussy ankle allow him to go on. Blah blah blah. The re...

Tim "Douche" Donaghy Did It and I Called It
The now ex-NBA referee has had a really shitty week, and deservedly so. Just as I predicted Donaghy was identified as the target of the FBI's gambling investigation. While part of me feels for a guy who obviously suffers from a gambling addiction the rest of me is fucking ecstatic. The reason I kept...

Michael Vick Got Served, Protested Against
Everybody seems to be pretty peeved with Mr. Vick...even PETA! Those plucky characters spent yesterday afternoon picketing outside NFL headquarters. Of course Roger Goodell wasn't actually there to see it, he was safe from their mutton chopped intimidators in his subterranean bunker....

Please Consult Your Employee Handbook
• The memo that changed our lives. The part where Skipper explains what a leader is, that's still our favorite one. • Tommy Morrison loves black people. • Kill the ref! No, seriously, they might kill him. • Fight, children, fight. • Joe Torre is a racist, don't ya know. • We are not going to Fire Is...

Who's the Next MLB Player To Bang Alyssa Milano?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think.)...

Make Like A Tree And Get Out Of Here
Last night, Darth Vader came down from planet Vulcan and told us that if we didn't take Lorraine out that he'd melt my brain....

The Kansas City T-Bones, The Universe, And Everything
Time once again to check in with the world of minor league baseball; it's Rick Chandler's Minor Enterprise!...

We're Guess Jack Daniels Will Cost About 12 Bucks
Good news! If Tampa Bay Buccaneers get confused by the 73 quarterbacks they'll have on their team this year, they will be able to douse their pain with the sweet nectar of hard liquor....

That Sound You Hear Is Cardinals Fans Tightening The Noose
This photo, shot in the wake of the Cardinals' announcement that Chris Carpenter will have Tommy John surgery, reveals just how matters are going in St. Louis right now. 2006 World Series ... 2006 World Series ... 2006 World Series ... we must remember while we still can. We miss Jeff Weaver alread...

German TV Is Shocked To Find Doping In This Establishment
We know we're gonna blow your minds here, but it turns out that there has been a bit of a blood doping scandal at the Tour de France! We know! In cycling! Of all places! You know, you think you can trust a sport. Anyway, a German television station has decided it's had just about enough, thank you v...