in Page 4041 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

His Next Job Will Be To Take Over For Stu Jackson
This spry gentleman's name is Bill Hargrove — he's the round immobile object between the orange ball and the red ball — and he just bowled his age. You might not find this all that impressive, though we find it difficult to bowl our age, ourselves. (We are not a skilled bowler.) But readers, smile, ...

Tony Blair Prepares To Subject Eli Manning To Relentless Heckling
When we first heard that the NFL would stage a regular season game in London, we could hardly contain our glee. Are you kidding? The world's finest on-field violence, coupled with the world's premeire hooliganism? It's the perfect storm. European fans evidently agree, as 40,000 tickets for the game ...

That's Not How Personal Training Typically Works
The Arena Football League is full of happy success stories. Kurt Warner. That weird video game that's oddly fun to play. Jon Bon Jovi. And now, to add to the list, the high school coaching adventures of Tom Porras, a former AFL quarterback. He was fired last week as track coach (and "personal traine...

Julian Tavarez Is The Doris Kearns Goodwin Of Baseball
In this day and age of instant gratification, it is reassuring to know that today's stars have the proper respect for those who came before them....

Don Nelson Will Get Back To You On Whether He Believes
As George Costanza famously noted, it's important to go out on a high note. If you tell a joke at a party and get a huge laugh, you excuse yourself and quit while you're ahead. Apparently subscribing to this philosophy, Warriors coach Don Nelson — having vanquished the invincible Mavericks with a te...

About Last Night ...
What you missed after the knitting accident ... • NHL: Over? Did you say over? Nothing's over until we decide it is! Sabres 3, Senators 2. • NBA: Not many people happy with David Stern right now. Spurs 88, Suns 85. • MLB: John Lackey is the wind beneath our wings. Angels 5, Mariners 0....

What To Do While Bored At RFK
Last night, at RFK Stadium in DC, the Washington Nationals hosted the Atlanta Braves in a game that counted an official total of 21,258 fans. (To which we say: Yeah, right.) With the upper deck almost entirely empty — we know how this goes — one dastardly fan decided to try to construct a word out o...

Hey Everyone! Let's Go Sailing!
America's Cup season is here, so why aren't youngsters crowding the docks for autographs and affixing posters of Oracle CEO Larry Ellison on their walls? We have no idea. Jut take a look at Tuesday's Louis Vuitton Cup semifinal series action from Spain:...

Brady Quinn, Always With The Hetero Photos
Last March, Packers linebacker A.J. Hawk married Laura Quinn, whom you might remember as the double-jerseyed sister of new Browns quarterback Brady Quinn....

Lastings Milledge, Scaring All The White Mets Fans
In the annals of ridiculous Lastings Milledge photos, this one, from the New York Daily News blog, is a rather classic one: It's like if Outkast met Cliff Huxtable....

How Do You Spell "P-L-E-A-S-E L-O-R-D G-O-D S-T-O-P T-A-L-K-I-N-G?"
Sometimes we wonder if we are too hard on ESPN. Sure, collectively, they seem to have sucked the very life out of sports, packaging schtick and corporate pablum into a stew of impossible-to-digest soulless muck. (And, unlike the rest of us, they mix metaphors!) But they're still just individuals, ou...

Sophia Loren Antes Up A Couple Of Years Late
We are no strangers here to certain women who promise to remove certain clothing items if other certain things happen in the world of sports. Anyone who followed the SHOTY competition knows exactly what we mean. We get our hopes up and what happens? Heartache, nothing but heartache!...

Yeah, Laugh It Up, Rick. Jerk. (Just Kidding, We Love You!)
This happened a while ago, but this is the first we've seen of it....

Eric Mangini Will Look For Help From Men In Tights
For all the talk that Bill Belichick is a genius — genius with your WIFE! — it's his former assistant Eric Mangini, with the Jets, who's making the real "Look at me, I'm a mad scientist!" moves. Witness the Jets' rookie minicamp, to which Mangini invited two potential Olympic wrestlers. This even th...

My Other Car Is A Recliner
We hate to spoil everyone's fun, but with fuel prices at unprecedented levels, do we really need motorized furniture? It seems very imprudent. This guy here broke the furniture land speed record recently by pushing his sofa to 92 mph ("The upholstery will ne're hold, capt'n!"), but what bothers us m...

There Are Now No Gay Lacrosse Coaches (That We Know Of)
Kyle Hawkins coached the Unversity of Missouri men's lacrosse team for nine seasons, but only this past season was it known that he is gay. And now — surprise! — he's been fired....

Your Cheating Carp, Will Tell On You
We don't know a lot, but one thing we do know: If they ran baseball like they run fishing, the sport would be totally clean. Jason Giambi? Barry Bonds? If they took steroids on Tuesday, by Thursday they'd be on a chain gang breaking rocks with a sledge hammer....

Vince Carter Reveals Himself Again
Legitimate question: Why would anyone with any sort of hopes for someday winning an NBA championship spring for Vince Carter this offseason? In the most important game of the year for his Nets, Carter dribbled the ball of his foot during the final possession, ultimately shooting 6-for-23 as the Nets...

Send In The Clowns
We have always been amused by lacrosse, which is America's oldest sport and tends to put us in the mind of butterfly collecting. It is also the only sanctioned activity in which it is legal to poke your opponent repeatedly with a stick. But we also knew that the pro version was missing one key ingre...

Carmelo Anthony Should Live Rather Comfortably
Over the weekend, The Rocky Mountain News told the tale of Carmelo Anthony's new pad in suburban Denver. (Via Slushy Gutter.) The place originally was listed at $17 million, but its price was "slashed" to a far more modest $11.95 million. Some great factoids:...