in Page 4043 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
About Last Night ...
What you missed while trying to catch Ferris Bueller in the act ... • MLB: Division title brewing? Milwaukee 3, Washington 0. • NHL: Red Wings cause Sharks to go extinct, 2-0. • NBA: Second City ... Pistons clobber Bulls once again, 108-87....
Floyd Mayweather Gets His Frito Bandito On
Because of the bad people at Time Warner Cable in New York City, we were unable to order the Mayweather-De La Hoya fight Saturday night — the customer service guy, obviously beaten down by talking to countless frustrated customers like us, actually thanked us for not yelling at him — but from all ac...
Where The Hell Is Carl Monday?
Remember the old days, when the bus driver who drove you and your school friends to the ball game just masturbated with his hand? Now they're using mechanical devices and popping pills ... it's just like everything else in baseball; cheating is rampant. All the records are tainted....
It's Important That You Remember That Roger Clemens Is Your Savior
Last week, Curt Schilling was accused of self-aggrandizing ego worship for supposedly painting blood on his sock, or whatever it was. Schilling's impassioned defense of his own heroism was both absolutely correct — the man has a right to defend himself against false claims — and completely fitting, ...
Not Bad, Oscar
Amazing. A heavily-promoted pay-per-view fight that left the fans standing and cheering at the end, without a great amount of controversy. Hm. They should try that again sometime....
Floyd Mayweather Jr. Is An Ass Doc
While we're all still basking in the glow of that one horse's victory, we've NBA playoffs, including a Game 7, and then Game 1 between arguably the East's two best teams. In addition, there's a Nextel Cup race, NHL playoff action, and of course, De La Hoya vs. Mayweather. Punching each other in the ...
Live From Churchill Downs...
I was under the impression that this thing would be run at around 5 p.m. Not the case, as it turns out ... NBC's coverage starts at 5, but they don't start actually beating the horses until around 6. Somehow, I had forgotten that that a 2-minute requires 6 hours of pregame preparation....
None Of These Boys Look Particularly Big Or Bossy
About 45 minutes from now, the Kentucky Derby will get underway, and Barbaro will attempt to defend his crown ... wait, what? Dammit. Oh well....
Bad Sign for Brady Quinn: He's Taking Joe Theismann Seriously
Brady Quinn's dreams had just been peed on for 4½ straight hours before finding out he was going to be spending his career in the high-fashion mecca of Cleveland ... I thought we could all forgive him if he looked a bit disheveled. Joe Theismann could not....
If This Continues, Darin Erstad Might Want to Grab a Helmet
Catching a fly ball against the backdrop of dozens of retina-searing white lights can't be easy. Every now and then, you're going to lose one ... and in such instances, you're going to stand there and look like a chump. It happens to the best of them. But that doesn't make it less amusing....
We Wish We Had Relatives Like This
• Saying goodbye to Josh Hancock. • The Bermanator! • Adam Morrison, raging against the machine. • The Seventh Floor Crew is now getting paid. • Joe Thomas' aunt rules. • Why do we still pay attention to George Steinbrenner? • Yes, we have a Comment Ombudsman column. • Mike Vick ... don't you ever c...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as Sandman refills the litter box ... • Boxing: Heavyweights, Eddie Chambers vs. Dominick Guinn and Chris Arreola vs. Devin Vargas, at Las Vegas. Latter winner to face Henry VIII at London. [Showtime] • MLB: Los Angeles Dodgers at Atlanta [TBS]; Chicago White Sox at Los Angeles Angels....
Grow, Hooves, Grow!
As we approach the biggest horse racing event of the year, the question hangs in the air: Which horse will suffer a fatal injury on the track, inspiring new innovations in interpretive dance? We're going with "Tiago."...
That's All We Needed Was MORE Paris Hilton Jokes
So that Peyton Manning on SNL appearance that we all liked a little more than we were expecting? Well, turns out the main reason Matt Leinart fired his agents last week is because that wasn't him on the show....
Cultural Oddsmaker: Who'll Be the Next Newscaster to Send Rich Eisen Bikini Photos?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....
We Shall Disappear Like A Nightmare Before The Breaking Day
We're everyone ... and no one. Everywhere .. nowhere. Call us ... Deadspin....
We Need To Talk About Your TPS Reports
What's coming up in the world of minor league baseball ... we proudly give you Rick Chandler's Minor Enterprise!...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while playing gin with the Grim Reaper ... • NBA: Playoffs, first round, Houston at Utah, Game 6; Dallas at Golden State, Game 6. "I Want To Believe" ... wait, isn't that The X-Files? [TNT] • NHL: Playoffs, conference semifinal, Vancouver at Anaheim, Game 5. Hell's Gate Airtram vs. Mon...
Boxing's Last Gasp
Finally, after putting it off for a couple of weeks, we sat down and watched all episodes of "De La Hoya/Mayweather 24/7" last night; enough people had told us we were required to take a look that we sucked it up. And we agree with Robert Weintraub from Slate: It is more fun than anything involving ...