in Page 4057 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Peyton Manning's Sweet 16 Party Cameo
So, less than a month after you've won the Super Bowl, you've got a bevy of entertainment options and endorsement opportunities. Or, you can just ignore both and sleep on a beach somewhere, maybe make out with balding country music stars your wife, just take it easy....

Ron Artest Might Have Sneaked In Some Early-Morning Spousal Battery
You know, you think you know a guy ......

Joe Darger Has Two Mommies (And A Crapload Of Siblings)
Curious, and fascinating story in The New York Times today: UNLV forward Joe Darger is the son of a polygamist father. He has 15 siblings, most of which go to all his games....

Tar Heel Blue Nation Seeing Red Today, Not Surprisingly
A lot of vitriol flowing around the Web this morning, most of it aimed at Gerald Henderson and Duke. But none seemed more perturbed at the roundhouse elbow to the probiscus of Tyler Hansbrough than the Tar Heels men's cheerleading squad, who were in Henderson's face, dude! You do not want to anger p...

Billy Packer, Information Dissemination Specialist
Of all the "Sweet Christ, Billy Packer is so full of equine excrement" moments, we have to say, the "Just Going For The Ball!" foul from Gerald Henderson on Tyler Hansbrough at the end of the Duke-UNC game is definitely near the top of the list. Whatever your thoughts on the reason for Henderson's a...

Kevin McHale Is The Best General Manager In The History Of Sports
Forbes came up with a system to rank all of the general managers currently working in sports. Kevin McHale ranks first. Forbes needs a new system....

The Back Of Ron Artest's Head Is A Canvas
With the NBA's trading deadline passed, Ron Artest finally felt it was safe to have his love for the Kings proclaimed boldly on the back of his head. He debuted the new look in last night's win over the Lakers....

NFL General Managers Make It Rain
The first twenty-four hours of the NFL's free agency period have come and gone. There was a flurry of activity last evening ... let's get ourselves caught up....

Week In Review: The Smokey Tornado
• Goodbye, Balls. • We guarantee you Dick Vitale's Betamax is flashing 12:00. • It's good to be Brian Urlacher. • Tommy Lasorda claims he doesn't pay for sex, but we know better. • We'll take a camouflage Bible over a neon bible, anytime. • Sorry! • You absolutely cannot kill Rulon Gardner. • Whom s...

Fever Pitch ... Throughout History
The Sporting News has a good piece about the evolution of pitching, which we read with interest until seeing the dreaded word "gyroball," which tends to provoke in us the same reaction as the word "disco." But until then there are some fun tidbits, such as the fact that until 1881, the distance from...

We Just Don't Think We Can Continue To Live In A Place That Embraces And Nurtures Apathy As If It Was Virtue
A woman that's so ugly on the inside she couldn't bear to go on living if she couldn't be beautiful on the outside. A drug dealer — a drug dealing pederast, actually! And let's not forget the disease-spreading whore! Only in a world this shitty could you even try to say these were innocent people an...

Stupid Sexy Jockeys ...
What could be worse than being busted for marijuana in a random drug test? Well, perhaps being known for the rest of your life as "The Dildo Jockey." Yeah, that would be a little embarrassing, we think....

Hey, Who's Funnier Than Peyton Manning?
You know, when you're talking freewheeling, classic sketch comedy, well, jeez, you're obviously talking about Peyton Manning....

NBA Roundup: Cowabunga, Dude!
Notes on Thursday's games in the National Basketball Association ......

Always, Always Be Wearing A Cup. Always.
All right, when a story starts with this lede ......

Sorry: More On Livingston's Knee Injury
First off, in no way are we dismissing the severity of Shaun Livingston's devastating knee injury from Monday. We simply can't imagine going through that ... we got queasy watching Marcia Brady getting hit in the nose by the football. But that being said, there is no denying that Livingston's knee n...

Slightly Deep Inside The Brain Of Agent Zero
The best piece of writing we've ever read about Wizards space cadet Gilbert Arenas was the famous Wizznutzz psychological profile of Agent Zero, which includes this brilliant factoid: "Gil was at the birth of his daughter! It wasnt a tom cruise scientology "Silent birth" but Gil did put his Halo gam...

Get Your Morrison/Harding Tickets FAST
We are trying to decide which part of this story is the saddest and most indicative of how our planet is in an irreversible downward incline. (Or, you know, "decline," if you want to say that in fewer words.) Tonight, in Brandon, Mo., The Amateur Boxing Club of Branson — such a thing exists — is hos...

Jerry Glanville Is Movin' On Up
So you know how Jerry Glanville is now the defensive coordinator at Hawaii? That's a job that has always made sense; if you've made your money in football, and still want to be a part of it but don't want to live the insane, 20-hour-day of the modern coach, kicking back and coaching defense in Hawai...

A Sad, Base, Disgusting Poll, And We, Frankly, Are Ashamed Of You
We continue to feel bad for attractive female sideline reporters. They work hard, they travel like crazy, they put in the hours ... and no matter what they do, all they ever receive for their efforts is "ooh, boobies!" It has to be frustrating, and we do our best to rise above it around here....