in Page 4080 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Time To Go Nuts In Jersey
Every school, theoretically speaking, should have that moment when everything is perfect and right, one of those nights where all students begin a four-day orgy of drinking, unbridled celebration and Italian sandwiches. Tonight is that night for Rutgers, which is now one of the four undefeated teams...

Louisville. Rutgers. For ALL THE MARBLES.
We are truly living in a blessed age when the most important college football game of the week, one of the most important of the season, not only involves Louisville, not only is being played on a Thursday night ... but actually is being hosted by Rutgers. The Scarlet Knights, before tonight, have n...

Blasted Apart, With Just A Hint Of Juniper
Ladies and gentlepersons, we proudly introduce you to SeasonShot. What is it? It's a shotgun that saved you the trouble of having to spice your meat! You can blast a bird out of the air and lightly pepper it with coriander at the same time! We'll let the inventors describe it:...

Introducing The Deadspin Sportshuman Of The Year Tournament
Since Sports Illustrated is making its unveiling of the 2006 Sportsman Of The Year award into a two-month enterprise, we figured we could do the same thing. Therefore, we are introducing the Deadspin Sportshuman Of The Year tournament, where 16 nominees will compete for the sainted title. We've put ...

Five Tiny Tidbits On: The Big Ten Conference
Thought we were done previewing things? How could you think that, with your NCAA Basketball Tournament office pool a mere five months away? You've got to start studying now if you want to finally get some respect. So who's with me? Let's Gooo! Please send contributions to [email protected]....

The Legend Of Ned Grows
What makes a hero? Is a man born to be remembered through the ages, or is greatness thrust upon him whether he desires it or not? History may little note nor long remember the fight between Florida International and the University of Miami. But we shall never forget the valiant sacrifices of Ned, ...

Fred Smoot's Blanket Coverage
We were just forwarded this shot, from an MSNBC gallery, from last Sunday's Vikings-49ers game. You might not be able to tell from the photo — perhaps you are distracted by the ass — but the defender on the play? None other than Fred Smoot....

The Return Of Ned
A profile in courage from Florida International University: Running back A'Mod Ned, the injured Panther who heroically joined the fray of the infamous Miami-FIU brawl from a month or so ago despite, you know, being on crutches, is expected to return to practice this week and could be able to retur...

Is It Too Late To Cast Tom Cruise?
We missed our copy of ESPN: The Magazine this week, so we didn't catch this terrifying, surreal tidbit, but the fine folks at Dirty Laundry did:...

Five Tiny Tidbits On: The Big 12 Conference
Thought we were done previewing things? How could you think that, with your NCAA Basketball Tournament office pool a mere five months away? You've got to start studying now if you want to avoid eternal shame. So who's with me? Let's Gooo! (Please send contributions to )....

Etan Thomas Has Got Your Peace RIGHT HERE
When Washington Wizards forward Etan Thomas isn't busy extolling the virtues of Abe Pollin's prostate in lyrical poem form or reminding us that David Stern doesn't care about black people, apparently, he whittles away the hours getting in fights with teammate Brendan Haywood....

Unpretentious, With Just A Hint Of Laundry Hamper
Strawberries, cherries and and angel's kiss in spring ... this Ditka wine is really made from all these things ......

Throwing An Intern To The Wolves
We've never done this before — to start this off like a Penthouse Letter — but we are here to put out an open call for an intern. This is not because we need someone to fetch us our slippers or to ejaculate as a result of oral stimulation, though, all told, neither of those are necessarily horrible ...

Pointing Out The Idiocy Of A New Rule
A truly outstanding find from The Wizard Of Odds: Apparently, during the Joe Paterno broken leg game between Penn State and Wisconsin — JoePa's return has been pretty amazing, by the way; the guy's coaching this week — Badgers coach Bret Bielema either discovered a loophole in the controversial new ...

Your Tuesday Barbaro Update
It's almost that time of the year again, when Santa hitches Barbaro to his sleigh and delivers gifts to all the good boys and girls throughout the world (except France). What happened to Santa's reindeer? All we'll say: Don't look in the freezer....

Set Tasers Phasers To "Conduct"
At halftime of the Michigan-Ball State game on Saturday, of all people, freaking Picard proved something we've always suspected: Anybody can be a damned band conductor....

Bo Schembechler Gets Meta On Us
We've told you repeatedly about the Dead Schembechlers, the Ohio State fan punk band that features thrash ditties like "Bomb Ann Arbor Now" and "Chad Henne is A Motherfucking Joke." (Their official site is right here, though someone should probably mention that no one does splash pages anymore.)...

Welcome To The Moe Howard 500
Our next story comes from Texas, land of lizards and slapstick, where a NASCAR rivalry boiled over into, well, pretty much what you might expect. Following the Dickies 500 at Texas Motor Speedway on Sunday, an "unidentified crewman for Scott Riggs' team" knocked over driver Kevin Harvick, his wife...

NFL Roundup: Bears Down!
• Hey, so what did happen to the Bears yesterday? We know they had trouble handling the Buzzsaw, but hey, who doesn't? Losing at home to the Dolphins is not the type of thing that's gonna make people feel all that positively about an all-Midwest Super Bowl. Wasn't Rex Grossman good at the beginnin...

Another "Outstanding" Regular Season Manning Triumph
There is a temptation to point out that if Peyton Manning had thrown four interceptions at home on national television against his biggest rival, he would have been vilified by anyone with a keyboard yet again for being a choker; because it was Tom Brady who did it, it was just an "off night" for ...