in Page 4108 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Kids, They Like The Golf
We've been trying to fire ourselves up for tomorrow's U.S. Open — the amount of morale-pumping required to maintain a face-painting level of excitement for televised golf is sometimes more than we can muster — but we just can't quite regurgitate the same Tiger vs. Phil stories. Sorry. We don't have ...

We Have Not Forgotten About The NHL. Honest.
OK, you're right; we've been somewhat neglecting our hockey friends. It's just that it's really hard to get fired up about an NHL title in a city where ice had to be shipped in by train until 1941. (Yes, we know they were once the Hartford Whalers. And Elizabeth Taylor was once hot). But we promise ...

Did The Heat Really Make This A Series?
After staying up too late watching basketball, we woke up this morning ready to survey the NBA world's presumed newfound excitement over the NBA Finals, which showed some signs of life last evening. But that's not what we found....

Live Blog: Spain Vs. Ukraine
Anybody else having difficulty not making "Insane In The Ukraine ... Insane in the brain!" comments? The song's just stuck in our head....

Dwyane Wade: Kind Of Fun To Watch
This mighty pretty Getty Images photo, taken during one of Dwyane Wade's many free throws tonight, pretty much sums up everything we just saw: Everywhere we looked, there was Dwyane Wade, and there was Dwayne Wade only....

Is This It For Shaq, Wade And Riley?
Well, if you're not too busy waving David Hasselhoff masks like a maniac, you should certainly be intrigued by tonight's NBA Finals Game 3. The Heat obviously have to win, and the game is perhaps as important to Shaquille O'Neal's legacy as it is to Pat Riley and the rest of the Heat. Even Dwyane ...

How To Brainwash Your Baby Early
From the folks at Thrillist comes a truly mortifying discovery: Team Baby Entertainment, DVDs designed to brainwash your otherwise sensible and emotionally curious child into a life of violent confrontion, xenophobic geographic loyalties and face-painting....

Saying Goodbye To Rick Ankiel, Once Again
With all the activity in the world of our St. Louis Cardinals over the last week, one story slipped through the cracks a bit: Terminally tortured "prospect" Rick Ankiel, who is now 26 years old and can hardly be classified a prospect anymore, underwent surgery on his left knee and will miss the re...

Boy, The Heat Sure Look Done Already
As Free Darko pointed out, last night's Mavericks-Heat game was hardly one they'll be showing off on NBA TV in a week. The Mavericks dominated the whole way, and as little fun as it is to pronounce a series over before they even switch venues, it kind of looks like the Heat might be done....

Rileyball To Rear Its Ugly Head
Well, here we go. Pat Riley, shown above after being asked about the size of Shaquille O'Neal's penis, has made clear his intention to ugly up the NBA Finals. They're going to roll with a little more "Rileyball," which is, of course, another term for ugly basketball. For examples, see any of the ...

Lord Stanley Sashays Over To NBC
In case you haven't noticed (and judging by the ratings, you haven't *), the Carolina Hurricanes have opened up a 2-0 lead against the Edmonton Oilers in the Stanley Cup Finals. The series moves back to Edmonton (and back to network television) this evening....

Let's Get French For A Second
Justine Henin-Hardenne beat Svetlana Kuznetsova 6-4, 6-4 this morning to win her third Freedom French Open, and her second in a row. It is the fifth Grand Slam win of her career....

Week In Review: Life Begins At 45
• Come party with Carl Lewis. • Victor Conte likes to bring the rock. • Who would have thought Jim Bob Cooter capable of such a thing? • It's the NBA Finals, and we can never get enough of our man Mark Cuban. • So did Frank Solich dope himself, or didn't he? • It's ant soccer! • Rick Reilly, stand...

You Can't Fight In Here! This Is The War Room!
Fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous communist plot we have ever had to face. We can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily f...

Altitude Sickness
Hey, for the last time, if you're climbing Mount Everest and you get into trouble, could you do the other climbers the courtesy of dying off the trail? Just crawl over to the side so that you're out of the way. Thanks. We wrote about this a while back, and it's happened again: A man who reached th...

Mark Cuban's Courtside Blogging Madness
Last night's NBA Finals Game 1 Mavericks victory over the Heat was an impressive one, and a fun one to watch; we feel optimistic about the series as a whole. (Though a scary part inside us keeps whispering nasty matters about a sweep.)...

NBA Finals Pants Party: Mavericks Vs. Heat
We all used to complain that the NBA playoffs took too long to finish, that there were too many games, that it was just all too much. Now, the complaints are about having to wait too long for the Finals to start. Yeah, we'd call that progress....

All Right, Maybe It's Time To Panic
OK, we have clearly attempted to keep our wits about us during this whole Albert Pujols injury situation ... but we're officially out on the ledge now....