in Page 4109 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Your Halfhearted Stanley Cup Pants Party
We have felt somewhat guilty around these parts for our almost total lack of Stanley Cup coverage. We have meant no offense; we just don't get a particularly strong "Holy crap, the Stanley Cup finals are starting tonight! Gooooo Hurricanes!" vibe. In fact, since the NHL playoffs started, we've recei...

Michael Irvin Brings The Love
What is love, exactly? What is it that brings people together, two become one, living in the sacred state of holy matrimony? (Well, as long as it's not two dudes, anyway.)...

A Tragic Weekend In Baseball
We sent our best thoughts and wishes to former umpire Eric Gregg and his family after his massive stroke yesterday at his home in suburban Philadelphia. Always one of our favorite umpires, he lost his job after the ill-fated umpire walkout of 1999. Like anyone else who went to a Phillies home game...

In The Oblique Wake ...
OK, we figure we're probably ready to talk about this now....

The Closer: The Cubs; Good For What Ails Ya
Notes from a day in baseball:...

If Jail Cells Were Endzones, Chris Henry Would Be Jerry Rice
ESPN's headline alone is enough to send me into bemused laughter: "Bengals' Henry arrested for third time since December". I don't know why, but that's funny to me. Henry was doing 82 mph in a 65 mph zone, and then blew a .092 on the breathalyzer. Ohio's legal limit is .08. No report on whether or...

If The World Cup Devolves Into A Battle Rap, We're In Fine Shape
I'm not sure how to react to this. When an athlete makes a rap video, and it's not that embarrassing, it throws into question my entire set of beliefs and values. That just so rarely happens. And the fact that it's a soccer player, and that he's white... I'm just confused. Here's Clint "Deuce" Demps...

A Most Painful Oblique Injury
And baseball highlights on SportsCenter just got a lot less interesting. Albert Pujols, as it turns out, really is human. He's got a right oblique strain, and he'll be on the shelf for a while. At least two weeks. Perhaps up to six. Perhaps even longer. If Deadspin.com goes dark tomorrow, it's bec...

Week In Deadspin: He Sees All
• Carl Monday, Freedom Fighter. • George Bodenheimer is a fool for romance. • Larry Hughes puts his clothes where his heart is. • How have we survived without Roger Clemens in our lives? • Your two-time NBA MVP. • Carson Palmer, cornholer. • We have World Cup fever, and we're not the least bit ash...

Lamenting The Loss Of Harry, Once Again
For some reason — perhaps it's the Cardinals-Cubs series tonight — but we started becoming rather nostalgic and wistful about Harry Caray today. We're not sure why. Jack Buck was always our favorite announcer anyway. Maybe it's just because we don't have many Harrys anymore; people who are liable to...

You Is Talking Loco ... And We Like It!
We hear words like "beauty" and "handsomness" and "incredibly chiseled features," and for us, that's like a vanity of self-absorption that we try to steer clear of....

Barbaro Finally Responds To Fans
As we have widely documented extensively and in excruciating detail, all kinds of gentle-hearted simps have been sending letters to the injured Barbaro over the last few months....

Question Seems Perfectly Logical To Us
Former Minnesota Twins Bert Blyleven occassionally takes time out of pleading for Hall of Fame election — justifiably, if you ask us — to broadcast Twins games for Fox Sports. The other evening, he was put in the unfortunate position of having to talk to former "American Idol" contest Ace Young (a...

Sport We Don't Understand No. 86: Mountaineering
Whenever someone asks us why we have never climbed Mount Everest, we always reply: too crowded. Seems these days as if the last mile to the summit is like a noontime line at Starbucks. But at least we figured that if we ever encountered trouble, there would be plenty of people around to help us ou...

Sean Taylor Free To Visit All Kinds Of DJs Now
One of our favorite, quietly sublime stories of the last couple months involved Washington Redskins safety Sean Taylor and his battle with a prosecutor who worked as a DJ in his spare time. (His MySpace page included the immortal self-description as a bulging-biceps, headphones-wearing prosecutor ...

Spell F-A-I-L-U-R-E, Kid
We'll confess: We love the Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee. We watch every minute we can, and apparently we're not alone, considering ABC is broadcasting the finals live tomorrow night in primetime. (To the network's eternal credit, Robin Roberts will be hosting, not Stuart Scott. Whew.)...

Scott Sauerbeck Apologizes To His "Fans"
So, for those who might have missed it yesterday, Cleveland Indians relief pitcher Scott Sauerbeck was arrested with a female companion after weaving drunkenly through traffic and then hiding in some bushes behind a house. (That's his mugshot, there.) No explanation had been given for the sudden d...

The King Is Dead, Long Live The King
Zack Hample has insulted us once too often. You remember Hample, the Dead End Kid who claims to have collected more than 2,000 baseballs at major league parks. In a recent post over at his blog, The Baseball Collector, Hample mocks Deadspin in a most egregious and insulting manner concerning Barry...

Jalopnik's Last Missive From Indy
For those of you who weren't around this weekend, our corporate (and spiritual!) friends at Jalopnik were at the Indianapolis 500 this weekend and did their best to cause all kinds of trouble. (They also informed us that Danica Patrick is "much hotter in person." Noted.)...

So, How Is That Horse Anyway?
For those of you who were wondering how everyone's favorite non-sentient being was going in his quest to survive long enough to have sex with any horse in sight, the Associated Press has a full report on jockey Edgar Prado visiting the horse in the hospital today....