ing Page 1296 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Yes, Theo Epstein's Accused Stalker Wore A Red Sox Shirt To Her Mental Competency Hearing
The Harvard-educated crazy lady who showed up in Chicago last week on Cubs GM Theo Epstein's doorstep can't sue us for calling her "crazy lady," it turns out. Kathleen Kearney was named a ward of the state of Massachusetts nine years ago because of mental illness, and she was released on bond in Ill...
Female Russian Skydiving Team Sets World Record With 88-Member Jump
Apparently, there's a women's skydiving team based in Russia called "Pearls of Russia," and each of them seems to be incapable of processing normal human emotions, including fear, tension, or sound judgment. Even more astonishing is that this wasn't their first or second attempt, but rather a thir...
Olympic Sprinters Will Be Running Not Only For Gold, But For These Frigging Adorable Baby Cheetahs
Today, the National Zoo in Washington, D.C. officially unveiled their two new cheetah cubs. The ridiculously cute fluffballs don't have names yet—the zoo is waiting on the Olympics. The three-month-old cubs will be named after the top American finishers in the men's and women's 100 meters. So, Justi...
Pac-12 Football In A Nutshell: Reporter Addresses Coach By Name Of Guy Who Left Ten Years Ago
After the madness of SEC Media Days, the other FBS conferences' pre-season football bazaars tend to be a bit more understated. That doesn't mean there aren't occasional weird moments, like earlier today at the Big 12 media day when Oklahoma State coach Mike "I'm a man! I'm 40!" Gundy was interrupt...
The Olympics Opening Ceremony? Giant Voldemort Fighting 30 Mary Poppinses, Obviously
London's Sunday Times is reporting that Friday's Olympics opening ceremony may not be unwatchably boring. According to Yahoo, which excerpted parts of the Times' subscription-only story, a 40-foot Voldemort (hologram? parade float? ventriloquist's dummy?) will take center stage for the ceremony and ...
Stop Filming Your Kids Crying Over Sports
Here's a little girl in tears over Ichiro Suzuki being traded away from the Seattle Mariners. We've been sent this video a few times, and we'll take the chance to address this now, rather than respond to each individually: We don't care about your or anyone else's little kids crying over sports....
Last Night's <em>Raw</em> Featured An Entire Virgilbag's Worth Of Washed-Up Wrestlers
I don't watch wrestling any more, but I used to, so for me the best parts of last night's 1,000th Raw episode were when USA Network aired clips of those late '90s Attitude Era matches from my teenage years....
Ichiro's First At-Bat As A Yankee: A Double Bow To Mariners Fans, Followed By A Slap Single Up The Middle
It's a little weird to see Ichiro sporting a Yankee cap (especially the custom low-profile 5150 they seem to have given him) but how his first plate appearance for the Yankees went couldn't have been more predictable. And, yet, it was wonderful, as the veteran gave a respectful bow to both sides of...
"I HOPE U ALL FUCKIN DIE" And Other Reasoned, Measured Responses To The NCAA's Penn State Punishment
The NCAA's announcement of penalties against Penn State football brought forth strong reactions—including our own—but none more, say, fervent than from those on social media. Here, then, are the most angry, sometimes regrettable, and generally depressing reactions from those on Twitter and Facebook...
A Comprehensive Video Timeline Of The WWF, WCW, And The Monday Night Wars
Tonight is the 1000th episode of WWE Raw, which started life as an unassuming little weekly program based on the novel conceit that wrestling could be broadcast live, in primetime. It's easy to forget now, but they barely made it to 200 episodes. The upstart WCW, on the strength of poached talent an...
How Curt Schilling's Video Game Company Was Doomed From The Start
Boston magazine has a lengthy post-mortem of the late, lamented 38 Studios, which went under earlier this year amid unpaid employees and defaulted loans and federal investigations and one very angry Rhode Island governor. After reading it, you may not feel any more sympathy for Curt Schilling (save ...
The First-Ever Horse Race Called By An Announcer On Helium
It was "Extreme Race Day" at Minnesota's Canterbury Park, a designation that seems to mean different things from year to year. This time around, it meant ostrich races, camel races, and in the ninth, track announcer Paul Allen taking hits of helium throughout....
Shaq Thompson Returns To Football After The Worst Minor League Career Imaginable
There is something unique about hitting a baseball: the assumption of failure. A batter can fail at his job two out of three times, and do it for 15 years, and he'll make the Hall of Fame. Baseball is a sport designed for only occasional success, even for its most skilled practitioners....
Brits Placed First And Second At The Tour De France, Their Significant Others May Hate Each Other
Remember foul-mouthed Bradley Wiggins—the cyclist that called would-be steroid accusers "cunts" and "fucking wankers" a couple weeks ago while he was leading the Tour de France? Well, he ended up winning, becoming the first British person to do so in the race's history. He made no mention of wankers...
Man Ruins Perfectly Good Sweater With Tribute To Joe Mauer
Sometimes the wastefulness of Americans is downright disgusting. We have homeless folks who would be eternally grateful for the shirts off our collective backs and this selfish jerk just decides to ruin his sweater by cutting into it so it would look like a Joe Mauer jersey....
Detroit Lions CB Aaron Berry Arrested and Charged With Assault, Tweets Detroit Lions Official Account
The Detroit Lions sure are embracing their role as the NFL's latest collection of bad boys. Aaron Berry was arrested and charged with three counts of assault for "brandishing a firearm" Saturday and we can thank the Detroit Lions twitter feed (via Adam Schefter) for filling us in....
Colorado St. Recruit Injured In Colorado Shooting
Zack Golditch, a high school senior who recently committed to play football for the Colorado State Rams, was among the injured following the shooting at the midnight showing of The Dark Knight in Aurora, Colorado. Golditch, along with current and future teammates were in the theater adjacent to the...
Feeding Seagulls Laxatives Ends Exactly As Expected
This is terrible. If you've ever had a bird shit on you, you know this. It once happened to me, actually—my fault for going to Shea Stadium....
Tim Tebow Is Working On His Mechanics With An Expert (In Something)
Tim Tebow is doing everything he can to prove he is a legitimate NFL quarterback to all those doubters out there. Everything now includes working with former major league pitcher Tom House....
Every Winner Of The Ernest Hemingway Look-Alike Contest, In Descending Order Of How Much They Look Like Ernest Hemingway
Every year, on the third Saturday in July, Sloppy Joe's Bar in Key West hosts the Hemingway Look-Alike Society's Hemingway Look-Alike Contest. The 2012 champion will be named tomorrow. We went through 31 years of winners, and ranked them all on how much they look like Ernest Hemingway, starting with...