ing Page 1348 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

No, The Alabama Teabagger Did Not Fly To The BCS Title Game On His Cousin The Sheriff's Private Jet. (What?)
Here's a fun detail about Russell County Sheriff Heath Taylor, second cousin of Alabama teabagger Brian Downing, whose famous nuts Taylor helped deliver into the law's hands: "Sheriff Taylor says he was at the BCS Championship game but did not know his cousin was there. The Sheriff goes on to say th...

There Will Be No More Kegs Or Student U-Hauls At Yale Athletic Events
After one woman was run over at the Harvard-Yale tailgate in November, Yale announced today that they've banned kegs and student-driven trucks from the tailgate, which will now end at kickoff. Guess that means more Ivy League football for all?...

The Alabama Teabagger Has A Mugshot
Brian Downing, the man who is accused of "pressing his testicles on the neck of an unconscious LSU fan," as the Times-Picuyane puts it, turned himself in to police last night and has been booked on one count of sexual battery and one count of obscenity. Here's his endearing mugshot....

Well, This Is Pretty Much The Worst Ending For A Horse Race
And this is why you should never play the ponies: the human element....

This Flyers Fan Has A Pair Of Straightforward Messages For The Islanders
Your morning roundup for Jan. 20, the day we learned old men in Japan engage in vaginal prayer. Photo via Busted Coverage. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Yu Screwed Prince Fielder (Sort Of)
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!!...

When Should You Teabag Someone? A Flowchart Explains
An important social issue has arisen from the debate around the New Orleans teabag incident last weekend: When is it OK to teabag someone who has not specifically asked to be teabagged by you? Sometimes, police call that kind of thing sexual battery, but police terms can be confusing! To help settle...


Oh Yu: A Collection Of Awful Yu Darvish Headline Puns
Japanese pitcher Yu Darvish officially signed to a six-year, $60 million deal with the Texas Rangers on Wednesday. Darvish, perhaps the most highly-touted player to ever come out of Japan, will be counted on to help shore up the Rangers' pitching staff following the loss of their former No. 1 starte...

Brian Downing, Alleged Alabama Teabagger, Has Turned Himself In
The Russell County, Ala., sheriff says Brian Downing—the man we identified this morning as the Alabama teabagger—visited the sheriff's office this afternoon with his attorney and spoke by phone with the New Orleans police detective investigating the teabagging incident....

The Verducci Effect Is Overworked And Broken Down
Sports Illustrated's Tom Verducci came out with his annual "Year After Effect" column yesterday, based on his hypothesis that that young pitchers tend to break down the season after an increased workload. Specifically, a pitcher 25 and under is supposed to be at risk if he pitched at least 30 more i...

Cuba Gooding Jr. Invites Linda Cohn To Rock Out With Her Cock Out
Cuba Gooding Jr. appeared on SportsCenter today to promote his new film Red Tails (which, as far as we can tell, is fully unrelated to sports) and performed some awkward impersonations, including one of Allen Iverson which ended in an aborted-too-late "rock out with your cock out!" We're pretty s...

The ECW Arena Is Dead. Long Live The ECW Arena.
For a certain generation, usually those raised on the cartoony early-90s WWF who rediscovered wrestling later in the decade, staying up until 2 a.m. to watch ECW on public access was a ritual of entering manhood. More often than not, those late-night broadcasts came from the ECW arena, a tiny, dingy...

ShortCenter: Adam Schefter Makes Fun Of Rob Lowe, Sources Say
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....
![Is This The Alabama Teabagger? [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18j4nf25ax1bojpg.jpg)
Is This The Alabama Teabagger? [UPDATE]
A tipster told us the other day that the assailant in the Krystal teabagging incident—a "sexual battery," as far as New Orleans police are concerned—was a man named Brian Downing from Phenix City, Ala. We think we've found him. ...

Why, Yes, A Boston Bruins Fan Tackled The Tampa Bay Mascot After It Doused Him With Silly String
Thundahbug was wahned to knawck it da fack awf. [CBS Boston]...

J.R. Smith Shattered Three Pairs Of Ankles (Including Stephon Marbury's) In A Single CBA Game
Here is video evidence that J.R. Smith's extended stay in China has, statistically speaking, involved more broken ankles than brawls spearheaded by his sister. Heart of Beijing has dutifully compiled video of three incidents: The first you see here actually caused an injury, and the final step-bac...

Rob Lowe Refuses To Confirm Or Deny Rob Lowe's Report That Peyton Manning Is Retiring
This just in, from Lowe's manager, Alan Nierob:...

Ticket Prices For The Next Wizards Home Game Have Jumped 60 Percent In One Day ... To $3.99
Those same seats for Friday's game against the Nuggets were going for just $2.50 yesterday afternoon. Which was way up from the 30 cents apiece a few guys shelled out to see the Raptors last week. At just under four bucks a pop, you too can catch Wizards fever. I think. [StubHub]...

New Orleans Police Are Officially Looking For The Teabagger
New Orleans cops now believe an act of sexual battery has occurred in the Krystal teabagging incident, and are seeking the public's help in finding a "person of interest." WWL has the full wanted poster, while the Times-Picayune reports police won't say if the victim is cooperating. WVUE in New Orl...