ing Page 1386 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
ESPN Interview With Skateboarder Carries On Despite Possible Abduction Of Child
Last week an ESPN crew interviewed Nyjah Huston, a 16-year-old skateboarder from Davis, Calif., to talk about his preparations and expectations for this year's X-Games. Huston's interview is nothing riveting — "um, yeah, like, gonna be sick, like, you know?" — and his cause isn't helped at all by ...
We Hope This Near-Death Experience Also Marks The Death Of Planking
Please, world, let us be done with planking. It has gone too far. People are now falling off of the top of golf carts and then nearly getting run over by said golf carts. A person has actually died. Soon, our pets' heads will be falling off....
Brian Orakpo Is A Company Man, Although He Probably Shouldn't Be
Brian Orakpo can't quite find the words he's looking for. But the words he did give us help explain why the players didn't get more in the just-ended labor standoff....
The Bengals Invite Carson Palmer To Retire
Back in January, former No. 1 draft pick Carson Palmer informed the Cincinnati Bengals that he would "contemplate retirement" if ownership refused to honor his request for a trade. At a press conference today, Bengals owner Mike Brown invited him to begin his contemplation:...
The Incomparable Ichiro Swings Through
Two surefire Hall of Famers played in the Bronx last night. One is having the worst season of his career at 37 years old, hitting nearly 60 points off his lifetime average, and still getting paid $17 million. The other one is Derek Jeter....
Michael "Cy" Cuddyer Was The Twins' Best Pitcher Last Night
I think it's safe and hyperbole-free to say there's nothing we enjoy more in professional sports than when a position player has to come on to pitch. There's always a mix of emotions - the game's already a blowout, so most players just want to get it over with and go home. But for the spot relieve...
This Is How Kris Draper Ends: Not With A Bang But A Premature Photo Caption
After being traded to the Red Wings for the princely sum of one American dollar, Kris Draper racked up quite the career over 17 years in Detroit. But this past season was a disappointing one for the 40-year-old Draper, in which he missed nearly half his team's games with injuries and (more tellingly...
UFC Ring Girl Arianny Celeste Spotted Making Out With A Giant Banana Penis
These UFC ring girls have tough lives, let me tell you. They prance about in bikinis, get schtupped by fighters and create art that would make Michelangelo weep. None of them appears to have more than a lone synapse firing upstairs. This one is Arianny Celeste. She's the queen of the ring girls. Acc...
Tour De France, Stage 21: A Bloodless Conclusion To A Bloody Race
The last stage of the Tour de France is designed to make you forget all those times that Grand Tour cyclists come off like persnickety bitches. It's a day of good feelings. A gentleman's agreement obtains whereby no one attacks the yellow jersey, and there's champagne to sip along the first few kilo...
Kansas City's MLS Team Compiled Laughable, Stereotype-Filled Video To Introduce Its Canadian Opponent
This introduction video, via KCKRS, is perhaps the greatest semi-official compilation of cheap Canadian stereotypes known to man....
Tour De France, Stage 20: The Aussie Gets His Wings
When last we checked in with the Tour, the race had become a bar fight. Many of the big-name riders were broken. Former champ Alberto Contador was mounting suicidal climbing attacks and punching fans. The French guy was throwing tantrums. It was as if the Tour had become an enormous raw nerve. Favor...
Watch Kasey Kahne And His Sprint Car Flip Over The Wall At A World of Outlaws Race
If watching cars drive around in circles at Williams Grove Speedway isn't your thing, fast-forward to 1:15 of this video. The driver emerged unhurt, remarkably enough. (H/T Cosby Sweaters)...
Presenting Your First Photo Of Mr. And Mrs. Ben Roethlisberger
The nuptials have apparently moved from ring-exchange ceremony onto the reception, per the whole #bigbenswedding extravaganza on Twitter. This picture apparently includes the Roethlisbergers and a friend named Mandisa....
Today Is The Day That A Reformed Ben Roethlisberger Makes A Physician's Assistant His Bride
Last night, Mr. and (soon-to-be) Mrs. Ben Roethlisberger hosted their wedding rehearsal dinner. The groom wore yellow. The bride smiled broadly in photographs that were released to the local paper before this glorious day commenced in Pittsburgh. Here are some fun facts regarding Allegheny County's...
Your Afternoon Downer
Here are two awful stories from the world of sports to depress yourselves with. [Star Tribune, Denver Post]...
Tour De France, Stage 19: Like A Punch In The Face
Until yesterday, the 2011 Tour de France had been a bit of a drowsy bore (even Lance Armstrong had admitted as much). Then came yesterday's 18th stage when, like a stag party on Day 3 of a Champagne bender, things lurched inexplicably alive. There was a punishing "stuff of legends" solo attack by ga...
Alberto Contador Punches A Heckler, Tour De France Remains Awesome
The carnage at DeathFrance 3000 is not contained to the riders. Today a spectator dressed as a doctor and carrying a blood bag (A reference to his positive drug test at last year's Tour) joined others in running alongside Contador as he tried to make a last-ditch move on the last day in the Alps. ...
Alonzo Mourning Sued For Hit-And-Run Incident Following Chris Bosh's Wedding
In the hours before dawn on Sunday, Mourning smashed his Porsche into a disabled car on a Miami Beach causeway, sending it rolling. Mourning got out of his car, went to check on the victim (he was not seriously injured) and drove home, where he called police and later returned to the scene in his wi...
Great, It's Gotten To The Point That Great White Sharks Are Jumping Into Our Boats
Off the coast of South Africa doing a shark count in Mossel Bay, members of an Ocean Research team were chumming the water in order to draw their numerical prey in. It wasn't long before an 1,100-pound, 10-foot great white took it upon itself to get airborne in a successful effort to go aboard the ...
Dry-Hump On, Good Mötley Crüe-Lovin' People Of Nashville
Tipster James sent us this photo all the way back on July 5, when Nashville was fresh from being rocked by the Crüe two days prior. And for reasons unknown, we haven't posted it until now. For that we apologize profusely....