ing Page 1401 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

We Are All Dave McKenna CII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit tastes the poison haggis....

A Children's Treasury Of Athletes Breaking Trophies
Who: Pasi Nurminen, former NHL player and Finland goalie coach....

Hines Ward, NFL's Dirtiest Player And Dancer, Almost Paralyzed His Tango Partner This Week
Hines Ward unintentionally body-slammed his partner, Kym Johnson, during a rehearsal for the show Dancing With The Stars last week. She suffered a sprained vertebrae and returned for what could only have been an "emotional" and "teary" and "inspiring" performance with Ward — and, having survived a...

Danny Ainge And Doc Rivers Maybe Kind Of Possibly A Little Bit Regret The Kendrick Perkins Trade
Danny Ainge and Doc Rivers present a clinic in saying a lot without saying much at all. Here's Ainge, on WEEI's The Big Show today, making an argument about a legitimate argument that one could make that he most certainly is not making:...

The Photo Of Taj Gibson's Dunk On Dwyane Wade Will Replace Bruce Lee Posters Across America
Via the NBA Photo Twitter feed, we present to you the posterization of Dwyane Wade (click here to see the full view), who is usually the one doing the posterizing. To his credit, Wade has been only complimentary and self-deprecating about the dunk that was seen 'round the American couches and barsto...

"We're On A Fucking Roll, Dude": The 1993 Profile Of Lenny Dykstra That Warned Us What Was Coming
Originally published as "Lips Gets Smacked" in the January 1993 issue of Philadelphia Magazine and later anthologized in The Best American Sports Writing 1994. Reprinted here with the author's permission and his addendum at bottom....

Everyone In Basketball Is Gay All Of A Sudden
The Outsports folks better ready their banner font: On the heels of Phoenix Suns president and CEO Rick Welts coming out in Sunday's New York Times, former Villanova basketball player Will Sheridan has come out to ESPN.com's Dana O'Neil. (The same ESPN.com, it's worth noting, that employs "bible-bel...

Tiny Japanese Luchador Will Whup Any Transvestite's Ass
Rarely has a 50-pound child been this much of a beast off the top ropes. Or this morally compromised. Only in Japan, folks....

The Next Stage Of College Baseball Rain Delays Had To Be Medieval Jousting
Choreographed dance sequences could only last so long, so here's the Radford pitcher Mark Peterson taking on High Point catcher Kyle Mahoney in a rain delay joust yesterday. What's the next most likely development? Red Rover? Double Dutch? Russian Roulette?...

We Are All Dave McKenna CI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit expires like an old bag of airline peanuts....

We Are All Dave McKenna C
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until [Daniel] Snyder's dumbass libel suit gets wrapped in white linens and dropped to the bottom of the Potomac....

Evan Longoria Didn't Really Make This Life-Saving Catch
If you're willing to believe this video is real, "Gillette Young Gun" Evan Longoria of the Tampa Bay Rays saved a lady reporter from getting her brains knocked out of her right ear, with four perfectly framed "Gillette" signs in the background. But you don't believe this video is real, do you? Goo...

Watch People Cheer For A Suicidal Turtle At The Players Championship
Your morning roundup for May 15, the day Lazy Cakes, Kush Cakes and Lulla Pies start becoming Public Enemy Nos. 1-3....

Chad Ochocinco Just Got Paid $210K To Get Thrown Off A Bull In 1.5 Seconds (Updated)
Here's video of the football player formerly known as Chad Johnson practicing the art of leaving the chute on the back of a bull. Of course, he's practicing on the back of a horse, and a horse that kind of ambles instead of bucks. That could explain, in part, why he only lasted 1.5 seconds on bull...

We Are All Dave McKenna XCIX
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit gets got....

Lionel Messi Got A Stern Talking-To For Breaking An Airplane Wall (With Video)
It's all fun and games until a bunch of dudes celebrating their La Liga title on a plane take it one step too far. Specifically, hitting the wall of said plane so hard that a panel near the emergency exit falls off. Even more specifically, when the person doing the hitting is Lionel Messi of F.C. B...

We Are All Dave McKenna XCVIII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit takes a torpedo to the ammunition hold....

Your NHL Playoffs Open Thread
Game Seven. Red Wings. At Sharks. Fun fact: San Jose has already had three chances to close the series out, so they probably won't be feeling much stress in a low-pressure game....

When Is A Choke Not A Choke? A Premature Requiem For The Sharks
This is an existential question that should be on every Sharks fan's mind today: is it even a choke if everyone's expecting you to choke?...

Kyle Lohse Impersonates Tony La Russa (And All The Shingles Headlines We Opted Against Using)
• Kyle Lohse Was Just Missing A Shingle Thing In Today's Tony La Russa Impersonation • Kyle Lohse Shingles Out La Russa For Impersonation • Kyle Lohse Puts The Final Shingle On His La Russa Impersonation • Shingle File: Today In Tony La Russa Impersonations • Living Shingle: Kyle Lohse Does Tony L...