ing Page 1442 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Small-Business Owner Does Not Appreciate Young Turk Messing With His Bushes
When you have a row of bushes in front of your shop, you want them to look pristine. A well-tended exterior shows your business is also well-tended. It's understandable you'd be upset if skateboarders repeatedly fucked with your shit....

The Cam Newton Scandal Spirals Into Incoherency
So much ink has been spilled in the last 24 hours over Cam Newton, yet so little has actually happened, that we felt obligated to break it all down. Here's hoping this doesn't become a daily feature....

Les Miles And The Elusive Art Of Clapping
Les Miles is many things: grass-eater, clock-mismanager, pretty good recruiter, and, as this video shows, an awful, awful clapper. ...

Last Night's Winner: The Indiana Pacers' <em>NBA Jam</em> Third Quarter
When a player gets a hot hand in basketball, whether through the sheer gully-ness of Mark Price in NBA Jam or a real example, it's a sight to behold. When a whole team gets a hot hand, it's a much different phenomenon....

SportsCenter Attempts To Standardize American Spelling
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Duke Administration Cancels Tailgating After Minor Is Found Passed Out In Port-A-Potty
A visiting teenager was found unconscious in a portable toilet after tailgating celebrations for Duke's win over Virginia on Saturday. The university will now brainstorm different gatherings that reflect "the class and spirit for which Duke is known." Right....

Set Your Sights High, Wizards Fans
Owner Ted Leonsis: "Had we won a close game at home on Saturday, we would be playing on Wednesday for a .500 record...A 2-3 record would qualify for the playoffs if they started today." Dream the impossible dream, Washington. [Ted's Take]...

Last Night's Winner: The University Of Florida's Academic Integrity
It's open season on Cam Newton. Since his selection of Auburn has already been indicted as everything wrong with amateur sports, is there anything from Florida we can drag up? As it turns out, yes! A big old term paper cheating scandal....

Potomac River-Based Sports Franchise Inadvertently Renamed
Well, it's either that or another example of egregious misspelling in the nation's capital....

The Woozy, Loogie-Hocking Aftermath Of The New York City Marathon: A Video
Finishing a marathon is an amazing accomplishment. It is also, as that David Fleming story reminded us, a rather dehumanizing and soul-crushing endeavor. As far as we know, the New York City Marathon was poop-free this year, but wobble-free? Not at all....

Bud Selig Thinks Abner Doubleday Invented Baseball. Of Course He Does.
Is there a better summation of the Bud Selig Era than the fact that the man himself recently declared in a letter, "I really believe that Abner Doubleday is the 'Father of Baseball'"?...

How To Win While Losing, And Vice Versa: Zab Judah Says Goodbye
NEWARK—Losing is half of boxing. The more interesting half. Some losers are tragic, searching for something they'll never find. Some are noble. But only one loser can do it quite like Zab....

Channing Crowder Was Too Mad About Getting Spit On To Care About Anne Frank Today
Man oh man, did both the referees and Baltimore Ravens get stuck in Channing Crowder's craw today. From the Sun-Sentinel's post-game blog ......

Your NFL Early Games Open Thread
Of eight games, three look moderately entertaining; Miami at Baltimore (oh boy, Derrick Mason's mad about Channing Crowder calling him "the old guy" so he called him "Chowder"), Tampa Bay at Atlanta and San Diego at Houston....

All Record-Breaking Surfer Kelly Slater Needs Are Some Tasty Waves And He's Fine
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Relive Zenyatta's Breathtaking Run
It is with a heavy sigh of relief that we can report Zenyatta did not have to be euthanized following her run in the Breeder's Cup Classic. She finished 2nd, but it was one of the greatest finishes we've ever seen....

The Last Guy To Destroy The Vikings Has Another MMA Bout Next Month
Herschel Walker won the 1982 Heisman, cost the Minnesota Vikings five players and eight draft picks in 1989, was on the 1992 U.S. bobsled team, lost on The Apprentice in 2009 and plans his second MMA bout next month....

Is Superhorse Zenyatta About To Win, Place Or Die?
Last time people blended potential immortality into horse-racing discussions, it ended with euthanasia block pools. So, good luck with all that, Zenyatta. Here's hoping the following links collection doesn't become a pre-obit around 6:45 p.m....

Your College Football Afternoon Games Open Thread
Two Top-10 matchups: TCU at Utah (um, "national championship" atmosphere?) and Alabama at LSU. Two Top-4 teams playing: Oregon hosts Washington and Boise State hosts Hawaii. And, Nebraska makes its last conference-rival visit to Iowa Fucking State....

Oh Look, There Are Mildly-Interesting NBA Stories That Don't Involve LeBron James
So, there's apparently an effort to turn the Sacramento Kings into the Kentucky Kings....