ing Page 1451 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Weekend Winner: Sparty's Balls (If Not His Vascular System)
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Michigan State coach Mark Dantonio, who beat Notre Dame on a wonderfully idiotic fake field goal in overtime and then survived a "minor" heart attack....

Here's a Video of a Cat on the Turntables
Meet DJ Kitty. He's kind of a rally monkey but from the looks at this official MLB video of him attempting to get Tampa Bay Rays fans to jumpjumpjump..., he's got strings all over him for marketing's sake. [MLB.com]...

Yep, a Chicago Cub Just Got Impaled on a Broken Bat
Tyler Colvin is in stable condition at a local hospital after being impaled in his upper left chest by a piece of broken bat during Sunday's game at Sun Life Stadium....

Guy Without Arms or Legs Swims the English Channel
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Ricky Hatton Says Retirement Depression Drove Him to Cocaine
Hey, remember last week when the News of the World went all public with video of Ricky Hatton ripping lines?...

Mike Singletary Doesn't Much Like Talking
Mike Singletary's team got smoked by Seattle opening week and some rat 49er fink told Yahoo Sports! the team's losing faith in offensive coordinator Jimmy Raye....

Here's Video of a Lady Weightlifter Puking Like a Fountain
(H/T Bob's Blitz)...

Tuneful, Preppy Version Of "Bitches Ain't Shit" Suggests Bitches May Be Shit, After All
Oh, there's nothing quite like a post-ironic a cappella version of a white man's very ironic cover of a Dr. Dre song done by a group of spunky young tarts....

Horse Groomer Accuses Of "Grooming" Horse's Naughty Bits
A handler at Illinois's Arlington Park is accused of fondling one of the horses. If that didn't get it to run, I'm not sure I'd back it in the sixth. [Sun-Times]...

Look At This Fucking Hoopster: "Kelly Tripucka" Hangs Out With San Antonio Spurs, Is Lead Singer Of Arcade Fire
An occasional feature in which we spotlight the ridiculous trend of recontextualized basketball jerseys. Today: everyone's favorite Polish-American Knicks color commentator Kelly Tripucka....

Fight Night On 9/11: A Lust For Destructo Porn And The Folly Of Creative Boxing
LAS VEGAS — On Sept. 11, firefighters in Clark County, Nev., somberly parked their trucks in front of the New York, New York casino, complementing a fake NY Fire boat on a fake lake underneath a fake Statue of Liberty....

"Look At The Tree" Tornado Video Is The East Coast's "Double Rainbow"
So, we had a tornado here in New York yesterday evening. Most people took it in stride. These bros in Brooklyn freaked right the fuck out. Let's enjoy....

<em>Jersey Shore</em>'s Snooki Singing A Mets Fight Song, Because Why Not
Via a two-and-a-half-year-old Hot Clicks post comes this video of MTV "personality" Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi singing the Lucas Prata "hit" "And We Say...Let's Go Mets" which I had never heard of before. Maybe because it's factually untrue....

Brian Baldinger Also Thinks Ines Sainz "Brought It Upon Herself"
And he shares many other thoughts including this one: "I wish I was on the Jets practice field and they throwing me pass patterns by her as well. You would have seen me stumbling to get to her." Go Dinger! [97.5Fanatic]...

10 Important Lessons To Take From Football Sex Scandals
It's enormously important for the moral growth of the nation that everyone reflects on the recent sex scandals—perhaps look long and hard into a nearby mirror and think about what you have gained from these tawdry goings-on?...

Man Masturbates In Toy Aisle To Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue
According to police, William Black grabbed the SI mag at his local Walmart, walked to the toy aisle, rubbed one out, and wiped it on a plastic light saber. [The Smoking Gun]...

Deadspin I-Team: The Case Of Owen Wilson Urinating In Public
See that photo, I-Team? That's the guy from Marmaduke pissing on a golf course yesterday. Yes, he's wearing a Warriors shirt. But there is so much more to know, I-Team. That's where you come into play....

Day One At Dink Inc.: A Woman Begins Her Odyssey Through Sports Gambling's Underworld
Beth Raymer moved to Vegas in 2001, hoping to land a cocktail-waitressing job. Instead, she wound up the girl Friday to a gambler named Dink, from whom she learned that one "takes" the dog, "lays" the favorite, and never, ever steals....

The Risk You Run When You Try To Become An Oyster-Eating Champion
Meet Ken Orndoff of Hoover, Ala. When he wanted to set a record and heard a local fish food place wanted to show its Gulf oysters were fresh, something clicked. Plus, there was $25 on the line....