ing Page 1573 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

That's What The Zamboni Is For, I Guess
The old expression "I'll tear off your head and shit down your neck" is alive and well in the NHL, or at least with the Boston Globe web site, where unfortunate typos make the readin' fun!...

World, Meet Barry Sanders, Jr.
The Deadspin Morning Video Wake Up Call will return for a brief period of time through the holidays....

Zack And Shiancoe Make A Porno
You realize of course that this was inevitable: A Canoga Park, Calif., adult studio has made an "exclusive performance offer" to Minnesota Vikings tight end Visanthe Shiancoe, and already has a specific film project in mind....

Morning Blogdome: This Is What Hockey Looks Like In Iowa
• Hold the applesauce: There's a minor league hockey team called the Iowa Chops (as in pork) and their cheerleading squad is called the Baby Backs (as in Sir Mix-A-Lot)....

Old Cockfighting Magazine Quotes
"His cocks seemed invincible and by the end of the third day's battles those favoring other entrants were heard to remark 'the only way to kill them is with an axe.'" [The Pitch]...

What You Missed At Baseball's Winter Meetings
It's seems there's only one organization on Earth that hates the Mets more than Deadspin. The New York Damn Yankees. Brian Cashman couldn't stand to give the crosstown "rivals" even one news cycle to themselves so he flew all the way across the country to sign C.C. Sabathia in the middle of the nigh...

Be Not Afraid
"By the start of the 2009 regular season, the plan of MLB's safety and health advisory committee is that all bats will have been certified by MLB and that the 32 manufacturers making them will be held to a new list of standards surrounding their production. That means keeping track of different mode...

War Is Hell, Except When A Major Boxing Match Is On TV
The Filipino military stopped its offensives on Sunday to allow soldiers to watch the Manny Pacquiao-Oscar De La Hoya fight, an Army spokesman said. In addition, military camps in Metro Manila were transformed into viewing areas for the soldiers. [ABS CBN News]...

If Mark Cuban Were An Abusive Hobbit
Looking for a toy that will compliment your child's ADHD while teaching him many new profanities in the process? It's the Ref-Baiting Mark Cuban Doll, with military stompin' boots and, apparently, kung-fu grip. Also, please note the "choking hazard" warning at the top, most likely added during the 2...

49ers' Willis Employs Five Pointed Palm Exploding Heart Technique
The big question in San Francisco right now: Should Mike Singletary be kept on as head coach next season? The overwhelming sentiment so far is yes, although Jets' wide receiver Brad Smith may not agree. If there were ever any doubt as to whether the 49ers would begin to take on Singletary's rabid pe...

Here Comes The Bull...Whee!
The Deadspin Morning Video Wake Up Call will return for a brief period of time through the holidays. If you have any suggested videos to fill this space, email us. Subject: Morning Video Wake Up Call....

Morning Blogdome: Three Of These Things Are Not Like Chris Duhon
• Before I finish this song: Do you see something unusual with this picture? Like maybe an NBA star who seems out of place? [Bread City]...

More Dong From The NFL Vault
Another tale of televised locker room nudity: This time it involved the Redskins' Jeff Bostic and George Michaels' Sports Machine, and it was no accident. [The Coach Is Killing Me]...

So That's What The Kneepads Are For
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Barry Melrose Is Not A Fan Of Tampa Bay
Here's something that's been stuck in my craw for a couple of weeks, because I can't quite figure it out. Barry Melrose coached in the NHL for exactly three seasons. In two of them, he missed the playoffs, which was almost impossible in the early '90s NHL. Then he spent 13 years riding an ESPN analy...

CSI: Beijing
Came in fourth in the 100 butterfly at the Summer Olympics? There's still hope for a medal. Oh, and if you already have one, we'd suggest hiding it. [NBCSports]...

Star-Tribune Columnist: Ask Not For Whom The Dong Tolls
The Minneapolis Star-Tribune writer who scored an interview with Visanthe Shiancoe on Monday was pretty much just covering her beat, as it turns out. Meet C.J., gossip columnist and unofficial nudity reporter, who happened to see Shiancoe exit a limousine at Trocaderos Restaurant, and got the first ...

The PLAYOFF Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals
Of all the pictures taken during The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals' NFC West-clinching "win" over the St. Louis Rams on Sunday, that one there is my favorite. It is somehow perfect that, when the Arizona Cardinals won their first division championship since 1975 (the year I was born!), the ...

Antonio Bryant's Left Hand Can Snatch Eagles From The Sky
The Deadspin Morning Video Wake Up Call will return for a brief period of time through the holidays. If you have any suggested videos to fill this space, email us. Subject: Morning Video Wake Up Call....

It's Giant Balls Vs. Dwight Schrute For Hearts And Minds On Super Bowl Sunday
In a bold frontal attack that makes Pickett's charge look like a game of Red Rover and the Normandy Invasion seem like a visit from the grandparents, ABC will storm NBC's programming fortress on Super Bowl Sunday with the intent of stealing ever viewer possible. Their weapon? The obstacle course she...