ing Page 1616 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while keeping your opinions to yourself......
Enterprising Red Wings Fan Finds Clever Way To Give The Penguins More Money
19-year-old Zach Smith, native of Cleveland but lover of the Red Wings, devised an ingenious scheme that would not only allow him to throw an octopus on the ice of Mellon Arena last night before Game 4 but still be able to watch the game after he got tossed. His very canny, super savvy plan: buy an...
The Size Of Zyg Gregorek's Boat Is Just Fine, Thanks
If you're searching for the world's greatest fisherman look no further. And here I thought it was the guy on the Gorton's fishsticks box. Anyway, a British angler has caught nine species of shark, including the great white, which led some international organization of big-game fishermen to dub him t...
If R. Kelly Should Be On Trial For Anything, It's Inspiring This
The MERKIN mercilessly turns out attention to this spoof of R. Kelly's "Ignition" honoring the Red Wings' Henrik Zetterberg. Does this mean he pees on girls, too? ...
Noun. 1.) A Generalized Loss Of Feeling In The Testicles 2.) Roger Clemens
With Erin Andrews frolicking around backstage, who could blame eventual grand champion of the spelling world Sameer Mishra to let loose a little Freudian slip? How else is he supposed to sublimate that sexual energy? Rub your finger on your hand any harder and it's playing with yourself....
Media Approval Ratings: Colin Cowherd
We vowed once never to mention Mr. "Schrutebag" on the site again, but these are the Media Approval Ratings, and we must be comprehensive. So therefore, with nose held:...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
Ice Hockey At Wrigley Field: The End Times Are Here
If you think it would be fun to see Chicago fans reach onto the field of play and try to interfere with a puck instead of a baseball for a change, then you're in luck. The NHL's second Outdoor Winter Classic game will pit the Chicago Blackhawks against the Detroit Red Wings at Wrigley Field, accordi...
Media Approval Ratings: Peter Gammons
Honestly, we will never, ever get tired of seeing Peter Gammons rocking out on his guitar. It makes us legitimately happy....
Mellon Arena: The Final Frontier
The NHL Closer is written by the five Star Trek: The Next Generation enthusiasts from Melt Your Face Off. When not attending conventions, they can be found in their makeshift Holodeck, where they practice putting the moves on a virtual Counselor Troi. Set your phasers to stun, Deadspinners, because ...
Kristen Bell Would Do Naughty Things To Chris Osgood
I've had that dream again: Elle Bishop from the TV show Heroes is taking a sponge bath in the Stanley Cup. What does it mean? Actually, it's based in truth: Actress Kristen Bell is a big fan of the Detroit Red Wings — specifically of Chris Osgood — and would also like to get some time alone with the...
Which Speller Will Have The Best Chance At Bagging Erin Andrews?
In commemoration of the Scripps National Spelling Bee, A.J. Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker makes a brief return. Email him to let him know what you think....
Media Approval Ratings: Keith Olbermann
Yes, yes, we know: Keith Olbermann isn't exactly a "sports" personality anymore. (Though he's still breaking sports news from time to time.) But Olbermann not only still does plenty of sports — it just doesn't seem like it right now, because the NFL's in the offseason and the politics world, most de...
About Last Night
What you missed while being assaulted with Moon Pies ... • NBA: Lakers take 3-1 series lead over Spurs, situating themselves perfectly for monumental collapse. • MLB: Let there be light! Santana delivers, as Mets crawl back from the brink of despair, beat Marlins 5-3. • Despite Will's sudden departu...
Ashley Harkleroad's No Dummy When It Comes To Her Career
Most of us who don't follow women's tennis on a regular basis had probably not heard of Ashley Harkleroad up until last weekend, when it came out that the 23-year-old lassie will one-up the provocative poses of other ladies in her sport by shedding her Fancy Pants for the August issue of Playboy....
Bet On A Charles Barkley Gambling Backslide
Charles Barkley's gambling debts may be paid-off, but that doesn't mean his reputation as a problem gambler will be going away anytime soon....
Former Major Leaguer Killed By Lightning, As We Are Left To Ponder, WTF?
As we open the file of stuff you never in a million years thought would happen: Former major leaguer Geremi Gonzalez was killed by lightning on Sunday while riding a personal watercraft on a lake in his native Venezuela. You may recall that Gonzalez won 11 games for the Cubs as a rookie in 1997, but...
Media Approval Ratings: Marv Albert
Whatever your thoughts on Marv Albert, it's rather impossible to deny that he is resilient. Honestly, it was only 11 years ago when those whole biting charges came around. We really thought he was done. Toast. Over. We mean, look at the Wikipedia wrapup....
Heavyweight Champ Out To Terrify Erudite British Comedians
The man pictured here is Wladimir Klitschko. It is telling that you might know who he is; he's the IBF, WBO and IBO world heavyweight champion, which isn't nearly as cool as it was 15 years ago. But still: The job of the heavyweight champion of the world is to be the "scariest man on earth," and mak...