ing Page 691 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Only Point Of Track’s Dumb New Testosterone Rules Is To Make It Illegal To Be Caster Semenya<em></em>
Track and field’s international governing body announced this morning that women who compete internationally in events from 400 meters to the mile will have to maintain natural testosterone levels below a certain limit in order to be eligible to compete. (Those with more testosterone will be require...
What Is WWE Doing In Saudi Arabia?
On Friday, WWE is presenting the Greatest Royal Rumble, a live pay-per-view event emanating from King Abdullah Sports City Stadium in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. Announced under two months ago, the event is being pushed on WWE programming as an upper-tier pay-per-view; it features a loaded card that feels...
The NRA Got Mad About Coolers And Now People Are Shooting Coolers<em></em>
If you’ve spent any time in an REI or around outdoor enthusiasts of a certain economic stratum in the past several years, you have almost certainly encountered a YETI Coolers product. Their coolers are blocky, unconscionably heavy boxes that prevent ice from coming anywhere near melting, and they co...
Congrats To The Tennis Integrity Unit Investigator Who Used "Tsunami" To Describe The Level Of Cheating In The Sport
An independent review panel tasked with evaluating corruption and match fixing in professional tennis, mostly in the lower levels of the sport, has finally released a report that essentially says there is a whole lot of corruption and match-fixing in professionl tennis, mostly in the lower levels of...
Yoenis Céspedes Smacked This One To Mars
The Mets jumped out to a hot start to the year, but they didn’t have much help there from Yoenis Céspedes, who entered today hitting .195/.258/.354 after striking out in more than 40 percent of his plate appearances. But forget all that for now, and just enjoy this towering dinger that he delivered ...
A Video Of Kevin Garnett Yelling A Bunch Got Thon Maker Inspired To Start Kicking Ass In The Playoffs <em></em>
Stringy Bucks big man Thon Maker has come up huge for the Bucks in their surprisingly competitive and entertaining first-round series against the Celtics. Maker averaged just 4.8 points, 3.0 boards, and 0.7 blocks a game in the regular season, and he basically didn’t play through the series’ first t...
Ex-NFL Cheerleaders Offer To Settle Discrimination Suit Against The NFL If Roger Goodell Agrees To Meeting
Last month, former Saints cheerleader Bailey Davis filed a discrimination complaint against the NFL after she was fired for posting an Instagram photo of herself in a bathing suit. The photo violated a Saints rule forbidding cheerleaders from “appearing nude, seminude or in lingerie,” which is an eq...
Do You Look At The Keyboard When You Type?<em></em>
Before we get into this week’s Funbag, I have a highly irritating announcement, which is that I’m gonna take a sabbatical in May. Actually, I was quietly suspended by corporate for pouring a bucket of live carpenter bees down Burneko’s chimney, but that’s neither here nor there. The point is that I’...
Here We Go Again
With their 4-2 series win over Columbus, the Capitals are going to play in their seventh second-round playoff series in the last 11 years. That’s incredible! Don’t ask how they did in those second-round series....
My Enemies In Nature, Ranked
It’s more or less springlike now, pending yet another cruel and absurd outbreak of The Eternal Winter of 2017-18. Here in my absurd forest dwelling, spring means that we are emerging, pallid and blinking, to plant new trees and azaleas, to try with ludicrous and doomed vanity to restore some mowable...
Gronkowski Deals With "Minor Setback"; Status Unknown
Sure, it’s racing horse Gronkowski, named after the Patriots tight end who recently purchased a minority stake in the colt. But still, could you imagine?...
IndyCar Driver Spills The Details About Peeing Himself
Not only was Sunday’s Indy Grand Prix of Alabama soaked—so were James Hinchcliffe’s pants. While the weather forced a red flag, the IndyCar driver talked to NBCSN and wove a captivating tale of why yesterday was the first time he was ever forced to piss in his racing suit....
How One Rich Man's Weird Dream Transformed A British Pro Soccer Team
Outside the 3500-capacity AGP Arena in the modest suburban town of Billericay, Essex, a 100-foot-long, 20-foot-high mural depicts Glenn Tamplin’s dream. It begins with the Mayflower setting sail for the New World, jumps ahead somewhat to the formation of Billericay Town FC in 1880, and quickly addre...
All The Wizards Did Was Heat Up
So the Washington Wizards will not be swept by the Toronto Raptors. Friday night the Wizards got hot from the floor, survived several instances of their players being crabby, runaway buttheads, and grabbed Game 3 on their home court. Marcin Gortat shaved his mohawk; John Wall cooled it with the turn...
John Sterling Is Still Wooing His Italian Girlfriend With Giancarlo Stanton Home Run Calls
Giancarlo Stanton socked himself a dinger last night, in the third inning of an 8-5 Yankees loss to the visiting Blue Jays. You want to see the dinger, don’t you. Fine. Here’s the dinger:...
The Pelicans Are Finally Doing It Alvin Gentry's Way
The New Orleans Pelicans have a chance to sweep the Portland Trail Blazers out of the playoffs when the teams meet Saturday evening. It’s fair to say not many saw this coming, although the result will uphold at least one generally held maxim—that the team with the best player on it has the inside tr...
<i>Boston Globe</i> Columnist Suspended During Investigation Of Marathon Bombing Stories That Don't Add Up
The Boston Globe has placed columnist Kevin Cullen on “administrative leave” while it conducts a review of his work, after WEEI radio host Kirk Minihane scrutinized Cullen’s April 14 column about the five-year anniversary of the Boston Marathon bombings, and found several inconsistencies....
Bradley Beal Says Scott Brooks Apologized To Him For His Role In Beal's Dreadful Playoffs
Bradley Beal, like his team in general, is not having a good playoff series against the Toronto Raptors. Beal shot just 3-for-11 in Game 2, scoring just nine points and picking up four fouls en route to an atrocious plus-minus of -34 in 25 minutes. Overall, Beal is scoring 14 points per game and has...
Dead Letters: "Now Start Your Down Fall"<em></em>
Subject: Pro-Trump...