ing Page 784 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Joe Louis Arena Was Crude And Perfect
Whenever I feel exhausted or beat down, I hop on Youtube and watch Darren McCarty drop a natural hat trick on Patrick Roy....
Penguins Fan Flips Very Solid Double-Bird
The Penguins beat the Blue Jackets 4-1 yesterday, and the best performance of the night belonged not to anyone on the ice, but to this spectator:...
Patrick Ewing Says He Can't Keep His Son On Staff Because Of Georgetown's Nepotism Clause
Georgetown basketball legend Patrick Ewing, newly hired as the men’s basketball coach at his alma mater, went on The Sports Junkies this morning to dish about his new job. A few tidbits: After coaching in the NBA, Georgetown was the only college gig he would take; he’s always valued his former coach...
Bruins' Brad Marchand Ejected For Spearing Guy In The Dick And Balls
With 40 seconds left in the first period of the Boston Bruins’ 4-0 win over the Tampa Bay Lightning, Boston’s Brad Marchand was suspended for whacking Lightning defenseman Jake Dotchin in the dick....
Desperate NFL Puts Shitty Thursday Night Games On Website Belonging To <i>Washington Post</i> Owner
Thursday Night Football, which features tired NFL teams playing in ugly jerseys, tried out an experiment last season and streamed 10 of its games on Twitter. I tried watching once and promptly saw Twitter’s wonderful “social” integration alert me that someone had scored a touchdown before I saw anyt...
Eldense Coach And General Manager Arrested After Team Loses 12-0 To Barcelona B
Spanish third division side Eldense lost 12-0 to Barcelona’s B team this weekend. Though Barcelona B is at the top of their group table and Eldense the bottom—the loss sealed their relegation—they probably aren’t 12 goals better, suggesting an alternative explanation for the thumping loss: match-fix...
WADA And The IOC Will Do Whatever They Please With Positive Tests<em></em>
A report from German broadcast network ARD—which previously broadcast bombshells about FIFA corruption in Qatar and unpunished doping activity—claims that the IOC covered up doping cases from the 2008 Beijing Olympics. German journalist Hajo Seppelt reports that “in 2016 during the re-analysis for b...
What Year Is It?
What the hell is going on, here? I thought the show about the guys breaking out of prison ended like eight years ago. Now I am seeing commercials that are all like This Tuesday ... [grim men looking at each other through chain-link fence] ... on Fox ... [sooty-faced men being serious] ... you can ne...
Reports: Tony Romo Will Replace Phil Simms In CBS Broadcast Booth
Tony Romo, who will be released today by the Cowboys and reportedly retire, will join the CBS broadcasting booth and be paired with Jim Nantz as the network’s lead football analyst, reports John Ourand and Adam Schefter. Schefter adds that he might eventually broadcast golf for CBS as well....
Mets Fan Mad
The Mets are 1-0 to start the 2017 season. Some Mets fans are irate....
Dumb Shining Moment: Your 2017 NCAA Tournament Lowlight Reel
This year’s edition of Dumb Shining Moment features everybody’s favorite athletes; the men we paid money (to CBS sponsors) to see; the men who really ought to go pro in something other than sports....
NBA Will No Longer Allow Team Broadcasters To Vote On Awards<em></em>
NBA media members will soon vote on end of the season awards, and since the value of many contracts hinge upon certain awards—particularly being named to the All-NBA team—they will be deciding upon whether certain players will earn millions of extra dollars or not. It is strange enough that media me...
Carlos Gomez Smacks Mammoth Dinger
The Cleveland Indians, last seen ceding a 3-1 World Series lead to the Cubs, are back at it this evening and things are not going well thus far. Corey Kluber gave up a second-inning dinger to new horse owner Rougned Odor, then shortly afterwards, allowed Carlos Gomez to murder one of his pitches and...
Brian Kelly Thinks DeShone Kizer Needed More Time At The Toilet Factory That Is Notre Dame
College coaches pull this card all the time, and it’s never surprising. There’s an argument for giving football players, particularly quarterbacks, a paid developmental league or some stage in between college and the NFL, but Brian Kelly, who led Notre Dame to an absolutely abysmal 4-8 season in 201...
Report: Georgetown Hires Patrick Ewing As<em></em> Next Head Coach
After canning John Thompson III, Georgetown has found its replacement. According to ESPN 980, the Hoyas have decided to hire Charlotte Hornets assistant and former Georgetown and Knicks legend Patrick Ewing as their new head coach. ...
Idiot On The Field Steals Tom Brady's Jersey
A few of the Patriots showed up with their Lombardi Trophy for Red Sox opening day, and overactive galoot Rob Gronkowski had fun with quarterback Tom Brady by nabbing his recently recovered Super Bowl jersey. ...
An Opening Day Medley Of Great Baseball Stories
To celebrate Opening Day, dig into our trove of profiles of some of the game’s most enduring characters—from Ty Cobb and Pete Reiser to Doc Ellis and Steve Carlton. ...
Wizards Mad Because, Mew Mew Mew, The Warriors Kicked Their Asses Too Hard
God, this is so fucking embarrassing....