ing Page 791 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Phoenix Suns' Gorilla Mascot Dives Onto The Court, Recovers Item, Scampers Off
At first glance, it looked like the Phoenix Suns’ gorilla mascot had gone rogue when he slid headfirst into the paint during the fourth quarter of the Suns game against the Washington Wizards....
Angry Man Cuts President Trump's Balls Off<em></em>
President Trump was getting hard to manage so his handlers went and lopped off his testicles....
Five-Year-Old Set To Become Youngest-Ever Contestant At National Spelling Bee
Nerd alert! Edith Fuller, a home-schooled 5-year-old from Oklahoma, qualified for the National Spelling Bee after winning the Scripps Green Country Regional Spelling Bee Saturday. She will be the youngest-ever dweeb to compete in a national spelling bee....
Washington GM Scot McCloughan Nowhere To Be Found As Free Agency Begins
Today’s the day NFL teams can begin officially talking to free agents, and the Washington Post reports Washington Redskins GM Scot McCloughan was not at the Skins’ facility today as the team began negotiations with players....
Marc Bergevin Is A Master Of Disguise
Montreal Canadiens general manager Marc Bergevin pulled off a gag with a potted plant at Monday’s session of the NHL GM meetings. He must have enjoyed that brief moment of time in which he didn’t have to field any questions about P.K. Subban....
Fuck Off, GRRM!
Hey man, we don’t want this weak shit! Give us The Winds Of Winter! Let’s see some pages!...
DeMarcus Cousins To Rude Heckler: "Suck A Dick, Bitch"
DeMarcus Cousins’s tenure with the Pelicans hasn’t started off so well, as the birds have struggled against a tough schedule despite solid play from Boogie. Last night, they beat the Lakers in L.A., and a pair of hecklers parked their asses courtside, laid into Boogie, and got video of themselves do...
Ski Bro Extremely Chill About Getting Face Impaled By Tree Branch<em></em>
It takes a special person to be able to say, “Hey, look I got a new piercing,” immediately after impaling their face on a tree branch....
Kyrie Irving Created Another Beautiful Layup Masterpiece<em></em>
Kyrie Irving somehow managed to shake Rodney McGruder, skip his way to the hoop, and deliver a gem of a reverse layup during tonight’s game against the Heat....
The Raiders Have Found Someone To Pay For The Rest Of Their Big Dumb Stadium
The Oakland Raiders would very much like not to be the Oakland Raiders for much longer, and their ability to shed their Bay Area digs for the desert depends in part on how well they can put together a $1.9 billion deal for a new stadium. Billionaire GOP donor/goblin king Sheldon Adelson was supposed...
The Future Of Feature Writing Is Woof Woof Bark Aww
If you’re a regular reader of feature journalism on the internet, you have encountered what we at Deadspin sometimes refer to as the “Snow Fall” treatment, after the famous New York Times story that launched the phenomenon. This is when a publisher packages a (typically lengthy) feature story with f...
Junior Hockey Player Climbs Over Glass To Brawl With Fans During Game, Loses Shirt
In what might be the most Canadian sentence written this year, a New Brunswick Junior Hockey League game Saturday at Lord Beaverbrook Rink between the Southern Sting and Grand Lake Moose featured a brawl in the stands after one of the players hopped over the glass to fight with fans....
Spring Training Is Good
One of my midlevel life regrets is that I’ve never gotten to Florida or Arizona for Spring Training, because it seems like it offers the things I like most about live baseball: Sitting outside in nice weather, eating and drinking, and just absorbing the entire sensory experience—the smells, the soun...
To Punch A Puncher
Think of something that is perilous and requires great caution—performing heart surgery, or defusing landmines. This is what it’s like fighting a puncher. You wouldn’t call it fun, but sometimes it has to be done. ...
Arian Foster Has Some Valid Points About Fighting Wolves
Arian Foster has spent three hours (and counting!) of this pleasant Sunday afternoon on Twitter, detailing his ability to successfully fight a wolf in a one-on-one match. As one does:...
Gold Medalist Runs Away From Official Who Tried To Stop Her From Doing Victory Lap
After Great Britain’s Laura Muir won gold in the 1,500 meters at this week’s European Indoor Athletics Championships, she tried to do exactly what anyone wants to do after winning gold in anything: a victory lap. Before she could get started, however, an official tried to hold her back and make sure...
Angel Garcia Goes Off On Keith Thurman: "He Ain't From Philly, He Ain't Got A Big Dick"<em></em>
Danny Garcia lost to Keith Thurman last night in a split decision, and his father and trainer, Angel Garcia, took the loss about as well as you’d have predicted he would. He used a post-fight rant to share some thoughts on the validity of Thurman’s win (he thinks it was disgusting), how he would hav...
Keith Thurman Isn't Getting Into That Freudian Shit
There’s a time when a fighter, soon to stand nearly naked before the multitudes at a potentially defining moment of his career, just gets sick of talking. Some get sick of it sooner than others. “Marvelous” Marvin Hagler, GOAT of all bald-heads and co-author, along with Thomas Hearns, of perhaps the...
Washington's John Ross Breaks Chris Johnson's All-Time 40 Record At NFL Combine
Chris Johnson’s record of 4.24 in the NFL combine 40, set in 2008, is no more as John Ross clocked a 4.22—something the Washington wide receiver said was a goal before his audition for pro football scouts....
After Getting His Head Stomped On, Zlatan Ibrahimović Explains Elbowing Tyrone Mings: "It Was Unlucky He Jumped Into My Elbow"
Both Tyrone Mings and Zlatan Ibrahimović somehow avoided penalties after swapping some nasty plays in Manchester United and Bournemouth’s 1-1 draw today. After first clashing when Ibrahimović seemingly pushed Mings to the ground, things really got heated just before halftime when Ibrahimović tripped...