ing Page 872 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Bruce Arians Is Fed Up With Moms' Extremely Sensible Safety Concerns
Moms, we need to talk about football, a very popular sport you may be harming. It is, in the words of one of its alleged coaching minds, “the best game that’s ever been fucking invented.” (Pardon the salty language, but I figure if you’re a parent you already appreciate the miracles that fucking bri...

Dale Jr.'s On Fire!
Hot, hot lug nuts sparked a fire in Dale Earnhardt Jr.’s pit midway through tonight’s race in Fort Worth, leading to a spectacular display of pyrotechnics that took crew members quite a bit of time to put out. The only thing hotter this week? Takes about Dale Jr.’s sandwich shilling....

NASCAR Invocation Features Prayer To Elect A Republican President
Unapologetic bigot Phil Robertson delivered the invocation before tonight’s NASCAR race in Texas, and it didn’t disappoint—if you were looking forward to the duck call industrialist to pray for “A Jesus man” to be elected president in November....

Pro Cycling's Most Harrowing Race Is A Day In Hell
You can’t drive your car over the cobbled roads of Northern France. They’re jagged anachronisms from a past era of transportation, and the only vehicles that still traverse them are tractors and, one Sunday a year, hundreds of professional cyclists. The 114th running of Paris-Roubaix will take place...

Red Wings Fan Arrested For Tossing Octopus Onto Bruins' Ice
Red Wings fans have a tradition of throwing octopuses onto the ice, as the creature with eight arms used to represent the number of victories required to earn the Stanley Cup. During Thursday’s game against the Bruins in Boston, one Red Wings fan chucked the damn thing onto the ice in the third peri...

Facebook Is All Sad Because No One Wants To Share With Them Anymore
You’re bored, so you stagger out onto a virtual stage under a searingly bright virtual spotlight, look out at your virtual audience, and see an alienating stew of every social group you’ve ever belonged to, with plenty of friends’ dads, former authority figures, ex-enemies, fleeting acquaintances, a...

This Is The Among The Best Victory Celebrations In Cycling History
You may glance at the headline above you and reflexively gag at the hyperbole. However, you would be wrong to do so, for Astana’s Diego Rosa really did the shit....

Cop Asks Jogger To Run On Sidewalk, Arrests Her When She Doesn't
MLive has dashcam footage of a Michigan woman who was arrested on Jan. 2 after she ignored a cop who stopped her and asked her to run on the sidewalk. There’s a lot of yelling....

How To Live Confidently With A Name No One Can Pronounce
I would like to announce that I am not a girl-blogger seeking anonymity, as many of our commenters suspect....

Serena Williams Is Bored, So She's Going To Teach You Some Dance Moves
Serena Williams was recently on set for some commercial. That’s not important, except that she seems to have a fair amount of downtime. Enough, at least, to produce about five minutes of random phone footage that includes tutorials on how to twerk (“squeeze the glutes, engage the quads”) and milly r...

Rory McIlroy Is A Shark
The following is excerpted from the New York Times bestseller Slaying the Tiger: A Year Inside the Ropes on the PGA Tour. The paperback version was released this week, and is available here....

Carlos Correa Slapped A Massive Donger
While maybe not as visually impressive as Giancarlo Stanton’s Mars shot, because dead center at Yankee Stadium is a long long way away, Carlos Correa’s home run last night in last night’s 16-6 loss was the most impressive of the young season....

The Mariners Just Can't Stop Slappin' Dingers
The Mariners opened the season with a rather odd little loss to the Texas Rangers. Since then, however, they have managed to humiliate a presumptive AL playoff team to the tune of 19 runs in their next two games....

You're Gonna Need More Than Two Defenders To Stop Boogie Cousins From Dunking On You
The Kings are playing at home tonight, which means they are not resting DeMarcus Cousins and desperately trying to lose their way into keeping their pick this year. This is good news for you and me, and bad news for Al-Farouq Aminu and Mason Plumlee, who got dunked on thoroughly by Young Boogie here...

Giancarlo Stanton Sent This Justin Verlander Pitch To Goddamn Mars
Justin Verlander didn’t allow a hit through five innings to the Miami Marlins this evening, but once Miami woke up (presumably because Barry Bonds dispensed a few pieces of sage wisdom), they really started hitting the dogpiss out of the ball. ...

Sources: CBS, Turner, NCAA Agree To Extend March Madness Broadcasting Contract
The NCAA has agreed to extend their 14-year, $10.8 billion March Madness television contract with CBS and Turner Sports, according to multiple sources close to the process, though they caution that no announcement is imminent. The original deal, signed in 2010, lasts through the 2024 tournament. The...

Get A Load Of Vittorio Brumotti, Maniac Cycling Stuntman
After Peter Sagan won the Tour of Flanders last weekend, he blasted a lo-fi ‘gram of himself wheelieing across the line with the caption “Winner!”. Sagan is somewhat of an ur bro, whose bike handling skills are only exceeded by his propensity to show them off. In a moderate deep dive into the Sagan ...

How Do You Survive Allergy Season?
For the allergic, happiness is at odds with the changing of the weather, because when the world starts thawing and the trees start blooming, the blooms start spewing pollen, and everything it touches goes to ruin. Yes, pollen, marauding your eyeballs and nasal passages, fooling your dumb immune syst...

Twitter Will Stream Thursday Night NFL Games
Giving you one fewer reason to stop staring at the internet, the NFL announced this morning that Twitter had won the rights to stream 10 Thursday Night Football games next season. Those 10 games will still be broadcast on CBS or NBC as normal, for those that somehow prefer football on a big screen....

Enough
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