ing Page 876 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
What It’s Like To Be Protested
I couldn’t hear what they were saying. I was standing on the steps of Oviatt Library at Cal State Northridge, giving a speech to all the incoming freshmen as part of the university’s formal convocation. (Quick acknowledgment: Yes, this actually happened, so you are now free to dump on me for being a...
There Are Actual Cubs At Cubs Camp
Joe Maddon likes to make spring training fun. On Tuesday it was mimes. Today it’s baby bears....
Madison Bumgarner And Jason Heyward's Beef Wasn't Really A Beef At All
Madison Bumgarner’s on-mound demeanor could be described using many different words; I’ll go with “cantankerous,” but depending upon your perspective anything from “fired-up” to “dickish” can be appropriate. So when Jason Heyward stood around seemingly staring at Bumgarner after taking a called thir...
Conan O'Brien's Monologue Was All About Garry Shandling
Garry Shandling, one of the two or three most influential comedians of the era, died yesterday at the age of 66. There are a ton of really good tributes and remembrances out there, and I hope you’ll share your favorites in the comments, but in the meantime enjoy this one: Conan O’Brien last night, s...
James Rodríguez Is Out To Prove He's Still The Shit
Nobody in Madrid much likes Colombian superstar James Rodríguez. His teammates don’t like him, his coach doesn’t like him, the fans don’t like him, the president doesn’t like him, even the local cops don’t like him. At a career crossroad of sorts, with his talent unquestioned but his dedication and ...
I'm Getting Married, And I Don't Know What My Name Will Be
Shortly after I got engaged a coworker told me a story about a friend of his. Or maybe it was a friend of a friend, or a cousin, or an allegory. Point is, there was this lady and she was marrying a man with the same last name as hers. While it’s somewhat common and even encouraged in other cultures,...
Mediocrity Has Revitalized Boxing's Heavyweight Division
Among all of the big men in boxing right now, there is one genuinely good heavyweight. And although—or, more likely, because—Luis “King Kong” Ortiz has looked impressive in his two most recent HBO fights, no recognized fellow champions seem interested in trying to pick up his WBA belt. Ranked conten...
Soccer Player Quits Team After Learning Teammate Was Sleeping With His Wife
The man pictured above is Christian Keller, very recently the captain of Danish first-division club Randers. He and his fellow Horses had to bid adieu to one of their teammates today, after Jonas Borring announced that certain personal events had led him to decide to leave the club. What instigated ...
This Child Is Goose Gossage's Nightmare
If you think today’s big-leaguers are a bunch of disrespectful rapscallions, wait until you get a load of Bryce Harper Jr. over here:...
This Is Just The Dumbest Way To Lose A Bike Race
An incredibly fun two-week run of Belgian cobbled classics started today with Dwars door Vlaanderen, a semi-flat but challenging warm up to the hellish Ronde van Vlaanderen. However, the race almost didn’t happen after terrorist attacks ripped through the Brussels airport yesterday. Race officials c...
Aaron Rodgers Has A Pretty Good UFO Story
Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers was a recent guest on the You Made It Weird podcast with Pete Holmes, and he somehow ended up describing the time he apparently saw an alien spacecraft in the night sky over New Jersey....
Stadium Tobacco Ban Will Hit The Yankees And Mets Hard, Unless They Just Ignore It
New York became the latest city to ban all forms of tobacco from sporting events, which is going to come down hard on the Mets and Yankees who are quite literally addicted to it. Players are handling the pending law in one of two ways: either proactively, by attempting to quit, or by wondering just ...
How To React To A Bad Person's Death
People die every day; famous people die over the course of many days. Those left behind watch as the internet floods with earnest RIPs and dewy-eyed takes and angry ripostes toward anyone with the gall to joke or critique At a Time Like This. In some instances, some otherwise empathetic people cut s...
Cubs Camp Is Fuckin' Weird Today
So you’ve got players preparing for nicotine withdrawal. You’ve got the team opening up SI’s baseball preview issue, which has the Cubs reaching—and losing—the World Series. You’ve got Donald Trump threatening to fund attack ads going after the Ricketts family for “the rotten job they’re doing with ...
Clayton Kershaw Posed For Pictures With The People Who Rear-Ended Him
Dodgers pitcher Clayton Kershaw seems like a nice guy. I say that because if I were a famous baseball player, I don’t think I’d be in the mood to snap some pics with two fans right after they slammed into the back of my car....
A Bewildered Jim Ross Called The Weirdest U.S. Fight PPV We've Ever Seen
“Roy Jones Jr. will fight a fan in Phoenix!” the promo reel screamed, and that was just the main event to a bizarre card put on by URShow.tv last night in an online-only pay-per-view featuring MMA, pro wrestling, “grappling,” and boxing as called by an in-the-flesh Jim “J.R.” Ross....
DraftKings And FanDuel Agree To Cease Operating In New York
DraftKings and FanDuel have reached an agreement with New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman to immediately cease operating in the country’s fourth largest state. The sites will remain inoperative in New York until at least September, when the state’s Supreme Court Appellate Division will hear ...
Fans Are Trolling A Gag "LaRoche Family Recovery Fund"
I can’t get enough of this Drake LaRoche thing. It’s the best, dumbest, most baseball controversy I can imagine. Adam Eaton saying of a 14-year-old boy that “we lost a leader?” Love it. Unnamed White Sox players finally emerging to say actually, it kind of sucks to have a teen in our workplace every...
Jason Chimera Scores Header Goal
The hockey header goal: it is a rare hybrid of sorts, blending parts of both ice hockey and soccer in what sports legend tells us is a myth, but actually happened last night as the Capitals’ Jason Chimera knocked a puck into the net with his noggin and it counted....
Sidney Crosby Traded Punches With T.J. Oshie
A bunch of hockey men pushed and shoved and some of them threw punches. One of them was Sidney Crosby! Now it’s news....