ing Page 923 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Fabio Aru Beats Tom Dumoulin To Win Vuelta a España
Tom Dumoulin was never supposed to be this close, and yet, for 19 stages, he was. The Vuelta a España is a cruel race full of steep ascents. The guys who win this race trend lighter and less well-rounded than Tour de France winners, simply because the parcours are a sadistic climbing party with few ...

It's Only Going To Get Worse: A Guide To Ignoring The NFL Today
For those of you who are so inclined, this will be a fine time to stop watching the NFL. A great time, in fact. Maybe even the perfect time....

Dizzy Bat Ends Spectacularly For This Bills Fan
This is not a long video, but still manages to define “wait for it.” Here’s a Mario Williams jersey-clad Bills fan making the most of his morning tailgate time with a round of Dizzy Bat that ends in the most wonderful fashion....

BYU's At It Again
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He Mad
Kelvin Taylor earned a taunting penalty for doing a throat slash after scoring against East Carolina. Gators coach Jim McElwain was not happy....

Notre Dame QB Malik Zaire Out For Season With Broken Ankle
Notre Dame quarterback and potential Heisman candidate Malik Zaire left today’s game against Virginia after suffering a horrific-looking ankle injury late in the third quarter....

Michael Zerafa Stretchered Out Of Ring After Being Knocked Out By Peter Quillin
Peter Quillin improved his career record to 32-0-1 after a knockout of Michael Zerafa so brutal his opponent had to be stretchered out of the ring....

Notre Dame Scores Touchdown On Extremely Well-Designed Fake Field Goal
Everything about this fake field goal is great. From the fake overhead pitch that froze a potential pursuer to the blocker pulling from the right side of the line to engage the one defender who could possibly stop Durham Smythe, everything went to perfection for Notre Dame. ...

Cops: Browns CB Justin Gilbert Wrecked Car After Throwing Dip Spit At Other Driver
Browns cornerback Justin Gilbert crashed his Dodge Challenger into a ditch following a road rage incident with a driver he believed cut him off, according to the Brunswick police department....

What's The Craziest Thing You've Bought While Drunk?
What do an electronic megaphone, a case of Prosecco, and a “Welcome” sign featuring a pensive chocolate lab (pictured above) have in common? They’re all things I’ve purchased while hammered. Now, let us commiserate: Tell us your most outlandish drunk purchase. ...

What Exactly Happened With The Steelers' Headsets?
The Pittsburgh Steelers struggled with communication problems in the first half of their 28-21 loss at New England Thursday night, with their coach-to-coach headset system echoing the Patriots’ radio broadcast for most of the first half. Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin told reporters of the headset ...

To Hell With Vox's Victorian-Living Idiots
Yesterday, Vox published a first-person essay detailing the anachronistic existence of two insufferably twee hipsters who live as if they were insufferably twee 19th-century urban gentry. Fuck these people....

Why Is Floyd Mayweather Fighting A Nobody This Weekend?
Throughout most of his career, Elvis Presley was the highest paid performer in show business. He was managed by an old school flim-flam artist called Colonel Tom Parker, who passed himself off as a kind of Southern gentleman even though he was actually a Dutchman named van Kuijk. ...

Is Notre Dame's President A Liar Or A Fraud?
If it’s been too long since the last time you got teeth-achingly angry over some dipshit’s explanation for why college football players shouldn’t be paid, head on over to The New York Times and read Dan Barry’s conversation with Notre Dame’s president, Rev. John I. Jenkins....

Report: Floyd Mayweather Received Banned IV Before Pacquiao Fight
The day before his fight against Manny Pacquiao, Floyd Mayweather took two intravenous infusions totaling 750 milliliters. The bags contained mixtures of saline and vitamins, but their contents are irrelevant: any IVs over 50 mL are strictly banned. The Nevada State Athletic Commission, which sancti...

Here, Illustrated, Is Every Nats Fan
Take comfort in your friends....

Classic Man: If Her Pupils Are Dilated, She's Totally Into You
Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. Previously, we discussed homemade deodorant; today, let’s figure out how to tell if a woman is hitting on you....

America Has Always Wanted To Pretend That Sports Aren't Work
Last month, given the chance to affirm that college athletes have basic labor rights, the National Labor Review Board punted. It’s rare that a sports metaphor so perfectly crafted for lazy headline writers is so fitting, but punting—the most cowardly, spineless, and responsibility-evading decision r...

How To Excel At Tailgating
Football season is all but here, which means that prime Tailgate Season is swiftly descending upon us. As pastimes go, tailgating is great because there’s not much to it. You don’t have to know a lick about football or whatever other sport you’re needlessly drinking in preparation for, and you don’t...

Matt Williams Fucks Up Again, Gets Booed At His Press Conference
Washington Nationals manager Matt Williams has spent most of the last week doing everything he can to ensure that his team’s slide out of playoff contention continues without a hitch. If his recent handling of the bullpen had Nats fans bashing their heads against walls, last night’s managerial perfo...