ing Page 925 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
How To Take Your Kids Backpacking
I am unable to take a vacation. I go on vacations, but the idea of just sitting around doing nothing is pure torture. On our honeymoon, I made my new bride go on a canoe trip, which ended poorly when I paddled her directly into a scraggly bush overhanging the riverbank. Our first fight as a married ...
Scoundrel Mountain: The Sordid, Untold History Of The Pitching Mound
The modern Baseball pitcher utilizes myriad sleights of hand in his quest to fool and demoralize the slugger. Taunts, curses, incantations. Foreign substances added to the ball, including but not limited to urine and faeces (both human and animal) or reproductive fluids (both human and animal). Divi...
A Who's On First Email Exchange With Hapless Skins PR Boss Tony Wyllie (UPDATE)
Earlier tonight, the Washington football team released a statement on behalf of GM Scot McCloughan’s wife Jessica, apologizing for having sent tweets accusing an ESPN reporter of trading sexual favors for access. But just a few hours before releasing the statement, Washington PR svengali Tony Wyllie...
It's A Joy To Watch Josh Donaldson Tag Up
Josh Donaldson probably shouldn’t have tried tagging up here. This ball was hit to extremely shallow center field, and a good throw (or a momentum-aided one from one of the outfielders) probably nails him. But he decided to run, and instead we get to see one of the better tag-avoiding slides you’ll ...
Wife Of Skins GM Apologizes For Accusing ESPN Reporter Of Trading Blow Jobs For Scoops
Yet again setting a new standard for franchise incompetence, the Washington football team has now been humiliated by Jessica McCloughan, wife of general manager Scot McCloughan, having to apologize for accusing an ESPN reporter of giving blow jobs for access....
John Daly Sings "Knockin' on Heaven's Door" Days After Collapsing On Course
Golfer and unique pants enthusiast John Daly suffered a collapsed lung during a tournament Saturday, and had to be hospitalized. The 49-year-old reportedly wasn’t breathing for almost three minutes. And yet, Daly showed up the next day to play while smoking cigarettes, because that’s just what John ...
The New Miley Cyrus Record Is Exhausting, But Might Be Worth It Anyway
So what we’ve got here is Miley Cyrus singing a morbid piano ballad called “Pablow the Blowfish.” She’s wearing fluffy unicorn pajamas and playing an electric piano in an ersatz cornfield; additional props include a stuffed unicorn on a stool and an inflatable Super Mario Bros. power-up mushroom. Ve...
A Unified Theory of Dusting
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She’ll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
Elvis Andrus Catches Pitcher Napping, Swipes Home
Man, a triple play and a straight steal of home on the same night? The planets must be aligned or something. ...
32 Years Later, Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka Charged With Girlfriend's Death
Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka was charged today with one count of third-degree murder and one count of involuntary manslaughter in the bizarre 1983 death of his girlfriend, Nancy Argentino. Until today, no charges ever had been brought in the case....
RGIII Almost Saved Washington, And Then He Didn't
Black Jesus is dead....
Curt Schilling Emails Blogger To Clarify His Thoughts On Nazis And Muslims
ESPN revoked Little League World Series broadcast privileges from baseball analyst/borderline Hall of Famer Curt Schilling after he shared some questionable stats about Nazis and Muslims to his Twitter followers. Schilling isn’t taking his break quietly, however. Today, he sent a long email to Dan L...
Kool Keith's Relaxing Guide To Wine
Beloved as a hip-hop eccentric, Kool Keith is best known for traveling at the speed of thought with the Ultramagnetic MC’s and, as a solo artist, embracing a wide range of brilliant personas, from Dr. Octagon to Black Elvis to Clean Man. Another of those characters goes by the name of Fly Ricky the ...
RGIII Denies Liking Anti-Skins Instagram Post, Blames Intern
Good lord, that’s a silly headline. It’s a silly story. But it’s been a silly three years, and there’s something microcosmic about the last 24 hours in Robert Griffin III’s preternatural inability to have a single thing go right or painlessly. Yesterday it was about losing his job. Now it’s about cl...
Meet The Owner Of Track's Most Brutal Event
Here’s Kenyan steeplechaser Ezekiel Kemboi after winning that 3,000-meter barrier-and-pond race at the Track and Field World Championships in Beijing. This was his seventh gold or silver World Championship performance. He’s got two Olympic golds at home in the drawer, stacks of others too, and, wond...
Cops: Man Shot Outside WWE Performance Center Had Knife, Obsession With Female Wrestler
Police officers shot a man outside of the WWE Performance Center near Orlando, Fla., on Monday afternoon. According to police, the man was armed with a knife and was at the performance center, where police had previously encountered him three times, because of an obsession with a female wrestler....
Eras To Live In, Ranked
The past was awful. It was a time of choleric ignoramuses flopping around in their own shit and killing each other for entertainment. I feel bad for everyone who lived before today....
Kirk Cousins Named Starter Over Robert Griffin III
We were all expecting Kirk Cousins to be named Washington’s Week 1 starter, because there’s no guarantee Robert Griffin III will pass his concussion tests by then. But coach Jay Gruden made the announcement today: Cousins is the man for 2015, and it has absolutely nothing to do with Griffin’s health...
Look Away From Dan Snyder's Mess, Nothing To See Here
If there’s one thing the Skins are good at (and there may be just the one), it’s leaking to the media. After an ESPN report had owner Dan Snyder clashing with his football people on the future of Robert Griffin III, it took mere hours for sources to run to both local and national reporters and insis...
